I remember the last Thanksgiving holiday with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. We were fighting. He kept telling me money would come in from his business venture, and it wasn't happening. As we drove to my family's house for Thanksgiving dinner, I was still steaming. The thought popped into my head, "All I want is my money back, and then I'll get a divorce." I surprised myself. It was the first time I thought about divorce. I never did get my money back. In fact, with all that was taken from me, I had to declare bankruptcy. Still, on this Thanksgiving Day 19 years later, I have much to be grateful for. I am grateful to know the truth. My ex-husband is a sociopath, …
5 stages of endurance to help you recover from the sociopath
Sociopaths do terrible things to us. I hear so many painful stories from Lovefraud readers — perhaps you have a similar experience: You may have had your heart shattered into a million pieces You may have lost your home, your job and all your money You may have suffered physical assault, illness, and emotional or psychological breakdown You who have lost your children, because the sociopaths got custody, poisoned the kids' minds, or both You may who have lost years of your life, time that can never be replaced Sometimes when I hear these stories, my heart just breaks. Because sometimes, as much as I would like to offer solutions, the sociopaths have enacted such total d …
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Lovefraud webinar preview – The Five Step Exit: Tools you need to leave a psychopath, narcissist or other toxic partner
Are you starting to think that you should get out of your relationship — but you have no idea how to begin extricating yourself? If so, this course, presented by Dr. Amber Ault, takes you, step-by-step, through the process of gathering support for your escape to making your move — and dealing with the chaos that may follow. About this course You're not happy with your intimate relationship — you're feeling misunderstood, exploited, manipulated and devalued. But it's complicated — finances, kids, social pressures, not to mention your own confusion. How do you sort out what to do? The Five Step Exit course offers you a structured model to help you decide whether to hang in or get out. …
After getting rid of one sociopath, another sociopath shows up
I've heard from multiple Lovefraud readers over the years who were annoyed, angry, horrified. These readers had finally realized what they were dealing with—a sociopath. They extricated themselves from the relationships and had no further contact with the disordered individuals. And what happened? Another sociopath came into their lives. The readers asked: What is going on? Why can't they leave me alone? Am I a sociopath magnet? The answer is, not necessarily. Following are some observations to add perspective to the situation. Millions of sociopaths These disordered individuals are everywhere. As long as we're living on this planet, we face the possibility of running into t …
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Devin Kelley, Texas church shooter, exhibited a pattern of psychopathic behavior, but no one saw the whole picture
The stories coming out of the massacre in the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas, are horrific and heartbreaking. The shooter, Devin Patrick Kelley, 26, walked into the church dressed in combat gear and killed congregants in the pews. One survivor reported that Kelley became enraged that children were scared, and shot them multiple times. Kelley executed 26 people that day, including nine children. Eight members of one extended family were killed. Twenty more churchgoers were injured. Authorities release IDs of Texas church victims, on ABCnews.go.com Afterwards, of course, everyone is asking, “How did this happen?” “Were there any warning signs?” The answer is YES! There …
12 Reasons to forgive yourself for falling for the sociopath
Once I figured out that my entire relationship was a scam, the person I was most angry with was myself. I really beat myself up. Why did I fall for the lies? Why was I such a chump? Sound familiar? Since my disastrous experience with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, one of the most important things that I've learned about tangling with sociopaths is that we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves for believing them. We are not stupid. We are normal, empathetic people who didn't stand a chance against skilled predators, and here's a dozen reasons why: 1 . No one told us about sociopaths. In school, church, college or even magazine articles, we never learned that there are …
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No matter what happens, my wife claims to be the victim
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Tyler17." My wife is the victim in every situation through her entire life. Even when someone jumped in front of the train I was driving, she was the victim because I changed. She is the victim because to her porn is everywhere, and unless I look away, I condone it. My daughter bought the remake of the movie Point Break and the family watched it on night when I was at work. On my next off day she suggested we all watch it, but was angry with me and withheld her love (again) because she should not be expected to remember if a movie has porn, as I am responsible for averting my eyes. This pissed me off …
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Another twist on love scams: Notices from the “Bureau of Customs”
Lots of men and women in the Philippines look for foreign romantic partners — and end up getting scammed. Here's how it works: Scammer claims to be from Australia, the United Kingdom or the United States and pursues an online relationship with the target. Scammer claims to send a package of expensive gifts to the target, like laptops, smartphones or designer bags. A few days later, target receives an email, supposedly from the Bureau of Customs, informing him or her of taxes and duties that need to be paid. It comes complete with official-looking documents. Target sends money to the designated bank account, which, of course, belongs to the scammer. Money is gone. BoC caut …
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Western Australian police quit saving people from romance scams
Project Sunbird, a joint operation between the Western Australian police and Consumer Protection departments, had been identifying 53 new romance scam victims a month by analyzing financial data. They were sending money to con artists in Nigeria, Sierra Leone, Ghana, togo and Benin. According to PerthNow.com.au, 75% of the victims stopped sending money after receiving a warning letter from Consumer Protection. Of those that persisted, 40% stopped after receiving a second letter. But the new Western Australia police commissioner, Chris Dawson, killed the project because of "resource priorities." WA Police handball romance scam investigations, on PerthNow.com.au. …
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Harvey Weinstein’s psychopathic behavior
Like much of America, I've been watching the Harvey Weinstein scandal unfold, appalled but not surprised. More than 40 women have now accused the famous and powerful movie producer, whose films have won 81 Oscars, of sexual harassment and even rape. The Weinstein Company, which he co-founded, fired him. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences threw him out. The Los Angeles police have opened an investigation. Still, Hollywood has always been about starlets who want to make it big and powerful men who took advantage of them — that's why everyone knows about the "casting couch." So I wondered — was Weinstein just a prolific user of the couch, or was he disordered? The answer came in …