Lovefraud recently heard from a woman in England; we'll call her Suzie. Suzie met a man on LargeFriends.com who said his name was Mike. Mike lived in Oregon, which was 5,000 miles away. Yet they quickly developed a rapport, and within weeks Mike was sending Suzie cards, e-cards, e-mails, drawings and stories written just for her. About a month after they first made contact, Mike declared his love for Suzie—even though they had never met. They exchanged their phone numbers and addresses. They talked on the phone for hours and bought webcams so they could see each other. Mike told Suzie he abhorred infidelity, which was the reason why he wasn't married at age 45—he intended to marry only onc …
“Woman chained like a dog” case: How can we protect ourselves from people who are pure evil?
Todd Christopher Kohlhepp, 45, of Moore, South Carolina was denied bail yesterday after being charged with kidnapping and murder. Last week, news broke that a woman had been found alive in a metal storage container on a rural property in Woodruff, South Carolina. According to the Spartanburg sheriff, she'd been in the container for two months, chained by her neck "like a dog." Kala Brown, 30, along with her boyfriend, Charles Carver, 32, had been missing since late August. Brown and Carver went to the 95-acre property, owned by Kohlhepp, to do work for him, and when they arrived, Brown said, Kohlhepp shot Carver. His body was just found. Brown told authorities that four more people …
New research on why people who tell small lies graduate to big lies
An article in the New York Times reviews new research on how the brain reacts to lies. Essentially, when someone continues to lie, "the negative emotional signals initially associated with lying decrease as the brain becomes desensitized." Why big liars often start out as small ones, on NYTimes.com. The story did not say that the research had anything to do with personality disorders. But it certainly makes sense with sociopaths — the more they lie, the easier it becomes, and they tell more lies. And then there's this sociopaths like the sense of power and control that they experience when people believe their lies. So not only does the negative reinforcement fade, but the positive rein …
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Donald Trump’s abusive behavior triggers PTSD – and so does Hillary Clinton’s
Presidential nominee Donald Trump went to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, on Saturday, the site of one of the bloodiest battles of America's Civil War, supposedly to outline his plans for his first 100 days in office. But first, he said he'd sue the women who accused him of groping or kissing them without their consent. Typical abusive behavior Trump denied and threatened. That's the typical behavior of an abuser and it's triggering symptoms of PTSD in women who have endured sexual assault and/or relationships with sociopaths. A Lovefraud reader wrote: I wanted to bring up something that has been happening and it's alarming. Â While Trump has been campaigning for president, it has caused …
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Banks in Singapore train employees to spot romance scams
A flustered elderly woman walked into an OCBC bank branch in Singapore. Her "friend" was in trouble in Malaysia, and she wanted to send him money. The woman knew her "friend" from the Internet. His bank details didn't match his name. And if he was locked up by the police, how was he able to call the woman? The bank customer service representative, Kristie Chiang, spent hours talking to the woman, trying to convince her that the request for money was a scam. Finally, the woman agreed to file a report with the police. According to another employee, the bank continually trains them to watch out for romance scams, which is a massive problem in Asia. Conflicting bank details raise alarm of …
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Video: Basic rules for a custody battle with a sociopath
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/i-OqrsZ7o3U" title="Basic%20rules%20for%20a%20custody%20battle%20with%20a%20sociopath"] In this edition of "Letters to Lovefraud" videos, a reader is facing a custody battle with her son's father, who she believes is a sociopath. She asks, "What are my options? Can I mention him being a sociopath in court without looking crazy?" IÂ explain the basic rules of a custody battle with a sociopath. IÂ emphasize that this is not a court procedure with a reasonable person who wants what is best for the child. And IÂ explain your most important tool for building your case. …
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A reader’s proposal for a con artist database
Editor's note: The following proposal was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Francine." I wrote a letter to my congressperson about proposing a national database, where someone can find out if a person has scammed others. As you know and other scams victims to do also, or will find out, there is little you can do criminally. I hope by posting by posting this on your forum, other members/victims will write to THEIR legislator and perhaps ONE of them will propose legislation. I know my local congressperson will NOT. I was scammed out of thousands of dollars, and while it may be more emotionally satisfying to beat the crap out of him, not only is it illegal and unbecoming, …
Video: Dr. Karin Huffer on dealing with a coercive controller in court
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/WaSFfosRoKo" title="Surviving%20Court%20When%20You%27re%20Traumatized"] You've been traumatized, and now you must face the person who traumatized you in court. Whether the case is divorce, child custody or some other litigation, you know that your opponent's objective isn't just to win the case. Your opponent will attempt to use legal procedures and the courts to crush you. How can you protect yourself? Surviving Court When You're Traumatized Part 1: How to protect yourself when you're facing a coercive controller Monday, October 17, 2016 • 8-9 pm EDT • $25 Part 2: How the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) can support you Tuesday, October 25, 2016 • 8-9 p …
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Sociopaths cannot love, they just want to win
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/scpZeDFSJZ8" title="Sociopaths%20cannot%20love,%20they%20just%20want%20to%20win"] In this "Letter to Lovefraud" video, IÂ explain the sad truth about sociopaths in romantic relationships. A Lovefraud reader writes that her ex-boyfriend said that he missed her, he loved her, he changed. But when the reader went to see him, the guy humiliated her. The fact is, the guy is a sociopath, and sociopaths cannot love. He concocted the story to deceive the reader, just so he could hurt her. For him, the entire episode was a big win. The reader, however, can win in the end, by recognizing what her sociopathic ex really is, and eliminating him from her …
Consumer studies professor learns her identity was stolen by her own mother
Axton Betz-Hamilton, an assistant professor of consumer studies at Eastern Illinoiz University, had battled her own identity theft for 16 years. In 2012, she won an award for her work, and her mother stood smiling next to her as she accepted the honor. Then, when her mother died, Axton learned that her mother was the one who stole her identity when she was 11 years old. Axton says her mother was a low-grade psychopath. My mom stole my identity when I was just 11 years old, on NYPost.com. …
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