How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 4)

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Editor's note: The following story was sent to Lovefraud by a man whom we'll call "Anthony." He believes his ex-wife is a sociopath. This is part 4 of 4. The story refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Read: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 Trying to make sense of the insanity: How could someone behave this way? At this point I was totally bewildered and completely devastated. Nothing at all made sense to me. I remembered all of the strange events that happened throughout our “relationship,” and I knew that they all tied together somehow, but even the events themselves were so bizarre, that my mind just could not make sense of them. I knew that she was …

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Recovery – parallel courses for moving forward

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What sociopaths do to us is unfair, coercive, exploitative and evil. In a just world, they would be held accountable. They would be forced to return what they took from us, and compensate us for the pain and suffering they have caused. They might even be prosecuted and imprisoned. But we do not live in a just world. We live in a world that is oblivious to the human predators among us. We live in a world where clueless people believe a convincing liar; the best performer wins and courts have neither the time nor the inclination to sort out the truth from the lies. For all of us who have been targeted, this adds insult to injury. We've been abused and exploited. We are damaged. Then because …

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Brain structure and violence

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On Tuesday Dr. Adrian Raine, a professor of criminology, psychiatry and psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, is coming out with a new book called The Anatomy of Violence: The biological roots of crime. Dr. Raine wrote an article in Saturday's Wall Street Journal about neurocriminology—using neuroscience to understand and prevent crime. The article highlights some of the latest research on the relationships between certain brain structures, psychopathy and criminal behavior. The Criminal Mind—Advances in genetics and neuroscience are revolutionizing our understanding of violent behavior as well as ideas about how to prevent and punish crime, on WSJ.com. …

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Brain scans show that psychopaths lack neural connections for empathy

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Researchers showed prisoners, who were diagnosed as psychopaths, images of people being intentionally hurt and observed their brain reactions on fMRI scans. Parts of their brains associated with emotional learning and moral decision-making showed reduced activity. Psychopaths are not neurally equipped to have concern for others, on UChicago.edu.   …

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The truth about sex and sociopaths

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"Very erotic!" That's how a woman whom we'll call "Cathy" described the beginning of her relationship with "Matt." "Sex, sex, sex," she said, "and sweet whisperings in my ears." After a whirlwind romance, they married. Cathy eventually discovered that sex was all Matt really wanted. She found a duffel bag filled with hard-core porn. His sexual demands made her uncomfortable. He cheated. Yet whenever Matt did or said anything hurtful, he soon acted as if nothing had happened. Matt turned out to be callous, deceitful, manipulative, narcissistic, hostile, irresponsible, reckless and impulsive. In other words, he was a sociopath. Many people think that sociopaths are all deranged serial …

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Recounting domestic violence through poetry

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Editor's note: The following poem was submitted by a Lovefraud reader. The Classic Abuser By Madeleine Mariani This pain in my head is from a concussion It didn't come from any discussion My loving husband hit me square in my head He was trying to kill me as I slept and hoped I'd be dead It has been several hours now and I still feel the pain And tears still flow down my face like an afternoon rain There are laws in place that are supposed to protect me I tried to remember that as I laid on the floor Beat up and bleeding and filled with such gloom As my children were screaming from their own bedroom Daddy, please don't hurt mommy, Not anymore As the rage and beating continued as I laid on …

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FTC survey shows 25.6 million Americans fell victim to fraud in 2011

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WASHINGTON, D.C. The Federal Trade Commission released on April 19, 2013 a statistical survey of fraud in the United States during 2011, which showed that an estimated 25.6 million adults — 10.8 percent of the adult population — were fraud victims. “The FTC fights fraud every day by taking scammers to court and telling consumers how to avoid being scammed.  Studieslike this one help us fine-tune both our enforcement and education efforts,” said Charles Harwood, Acting Director of the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. While fast-growing online commerce has benefitted consumers with greater choice and convenience, the survey indicates that, as of 2011, the Internet was also the place w …

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An open letter to lawyers who have clients involved with sociopaths

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Dear Mr. or Ms. Esquire, When a client tells you his or her opponent is a sociopath, please be aware of the ramifications for your legal case. First of all, do not disregard the statement just because the opponent hasn't killed anyone. A common perception is that sociopaths (people who have antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders) are all deranged serial killers. This is not true—only a small percentage of sociopaths commit murder. But all sociopaths are social predators, and live by exploiting others. Frequently this is financial exploitation—many sociopaths are skilled con artists—but not always. Sociopaths also target people who can p …

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Sociopathic deceit: Plan or second nature?

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Lovefraud recently received the following question from a reader: When a sociopath targets his victim, does he think and create a plan as to HOW he is going to manipulate his prey to glean what he wants, or is this just second nature to him?  How can he spend MONTHS being such a kind, considerate person, going out of his way to do the "little" things that matter in life, before turning into the evil monster? When you have been deceived and manipulated by a sociopath, the most difficult idea to grasp is how totally different people with this personality disorder are from the rest of us. Their behavior is different from everything we thought we knew about human i …

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BOOK REVIEW: I’m still standing, by Lovefraud’s Mel Carnegie

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If you've been reading Lovefraud for awhile, you've probably been inspired by the many encouraging articles contributed by Mel Carnegie, a British woman now living in France who experienced her own devastating marriage to a sociopath. Now, you can read her complete story in her new book, I'm Still Standing, and be even more inspired. Mel has told us snippets of her story: how she lost her father, and then her mother, while she was young. How she was abandoned by her guardians. How she had a son, although the relationship didn't last. And then how she met the man who she thought was the love of her life, only to be totally betrayed. In I'm Still Standing, Mel takes us along on her journey, …

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