How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Sociopaths: The giant skeleton in humanity’s closet

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Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader in Holland whom we'll call "Anika": Today I registered to your love fraud site. Nice that you created it. It is a great help when you are abused by a socio-psychopath whatever you call it. I've been divorced from mine almost 30 years. Only 3 years ago I read a book that explained to me why, after my divorce, my life changed from a drama into a hell. And this blog and sites are very helpful. Knowledge gives power. So I am together with a cousin (who is also divorced her psychopath), working on creating something like this in Holland. In our country it seems to be an unknown subject. I want to write especially about the t …

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Relationships after the sociopath

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I received the following email from the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Zimzoomit:" I saw the Lifetime Network show about you and lovefraud.com. What I would like to know is how the man who came next (your true lover, after the fraud) helped you to overcome the emotional havoc your ex who frauded you caused? Is there a specific blog or link on lovefraud.com to tell us how he helped you? Were you able to talk about things that bothered you about your ex, even ever so occasionally, when/if the haunted thoughts encroached on you ”¦ even if only occasionally but for years after the fact, and if so, what things did your new love say, to help you overcome those thoughts? Was he willing to li …

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Study shows how experience affects genetics

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The Los Angeles Times reported on Friday an interesting study about the effects of sleep deprivation on genetics. Essentially, lack of sleep caused some genes, such as those involved in stress reactions, to be amplified. Others, such as those involved in healing, were turned down. Read: Sleep deprivation has genetic consequences, study finds, on LATimes.com. I found this study interesting for two reasons. First of all, some sociopaths actively try to prevent their partners from getting enough sleep, and the study points to the real health consequences of this subtle form of abuse. Secondly, the study highlights the fact that genes can change. Here's a key concept: We are all born …

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Doing business with a sociopath is bad business

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Here's a scary fact about the prevalence of sociopaths, also called psychopaths: Dr. Robert Hare, the psychologist who developed the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R), says that approximately 1% of the general population meets his definition of a psychopath. But in a study of 200 high-potential executives, he found that 3.5% of them fit the profile of a psychopath. That means there are 3.5 times a many psychopaths in corporate offices as there are on the streets. One of them, in my opinion, is Carl R. Greene, former executive director of the Philadelphia Housing Authority (PHA). I've posted several articles about him since he was fired from the agency that he ran for 12 years in …

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Man who abused a boy scout also abused his own children

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The Boy Scouts of America "perversion files" from 1959 to the late 1980s were made public last year. One of the violators was Brandon Gray, who lived in Morristown, New Jersey, in 1963. The documentation of Gray's action was validation for two of his children, who were also abused, and struggled to live normal lives afterwards. Brandon Gray scout abuse: Siblings discover dad's molestation, remember own torment, on HuffingtonPost.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Predicting recidivism of sex offenders unreliable with current tools

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Psychologists attempt to predict whether sexually violent predators (SVPs) will offend again using evaluation instruments such as the Psychopathy Checklist (PCL-R).  According to several studies, the scores among the evaluators using these tools are subjective and can vary considerably. Often times the scores vary so much the results may be considered unreliable. SVP risk tools show 'disappointing' reliability in real-world use from ForensicPsychologist.blogspot.ca. Article suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Revisiting Joe Paterno’s involvement in the Jerry Sandusky case

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The Penn State bombshell exploded on November 4, 2011. That's when court documents were posted online indicating that Jerry Sandusky, the former assistant football coach, would be charged with 40 counts related to sex crimes involving minors. Since then, Jerry Sandusky has been convicted and sentenced to spend the rest of his life in prison. Graham Spanier, the Penn State president, Gary Schultz, a vice president, and Tim Curley, the athletic director, were all charged with crimes related to an alleged cover-up of Sandusky's predatory actions. They are awaiting trial. Joe Paterno, the legendary Penn State football coach, was not charged with anything. Paterno died on January 22, 2012.  …

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Another custody battle, another murder

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Christine Belford was shot dead in a Delaware courthouse by her former father-in-law, Thomas Matusiewicz. David Matusiewicz, Belford's ex-husband and father of their three children, had previously had his parental rights terminated after kidnapping the children and taking them to Nicaragua. Documents hint at wider conspiracy in Delaware courthouse shooting, on Philly.com. …

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Love is a leap of faith

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Lovefraud recently received the following email: Hi Donna, I'm a huge fan of LoveFraud and can't thank you enough for making it happen. I know from your story that you've found a wonderful man.  So have I, and we've been dating about a year. He's an upbeat, nurturing person with a great sense of humor and good boundaries! Still, I'm finding it difficult to let go and love him. I'm really surprised how long it's taking me to let go of my fear. (I've been out of my marriage 4 years and did a lot of healing before I met new guy.) Could you address this in one of your articles? I see a lot of info on how to recover, and how to spot a spath so you don't hook up with another one. But …

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