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Donna Andersen

You are here: Home / Archives for Donna Andersen

What feels like pain is really progress

November 12, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  84 Comments

Lovefraud recently received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Cassandra." My reply follows the letter. I don't even know where to begin but I'll try and make it short. Won't be sweet though. I am a long time advocate of Lovefraud. I was a victim of a psychopath over 7 years ago. I was with him for 5 years, we had a house together, dogs, like a married couple. Finally a girl confronted me and told me he was living a double life, as well as having sex with both men and women. And I was not shocked. Just angry at myself for not facing the truth for so long. I ended the relationship. He tried to get me back. I got a restraining order. To this day he still tries to email and …

What feels like pain is really progressRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

Research findings: workplace psychopaths

November 8, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  32 Comments

Editor's note: A master's student from Carleton University in Ottowa, Canada, is researching psychopaths in the workplace. She invited Lovefraud readers to participate in her research, and many of you did. Below are her preliminary findings. Backstabbing bosses and callous co-workers: An examination of the experience of working with a psychopath. Very little research has been conducted on the phenomenon of corporate psychopathy or victims of psychopaths. This study was one of the first to take a victimcentric approach to study how psychopaths behave in a workplace. The purpose of the study was to better understand the effects (mental, physical, financial, social) of working with an …

Research findings: workplace psychopathsRead More

Category: Scientific research, Workplace sociopaths

Why we get hooked on unpredictable romance

November 6, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  29 Comments

Many Lovefraud readers have experienced the phenomenon of knowing that a romantic partner is unreliable and even bad for them, but they keep taking the person back. A psychiatrist explains why this happens. Blame your brain. I heart unpredictable love, on NYTimes.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

Why we get hooked on unpredictable romanceRead More

Category: Scientific research, Seduced by a sociopath

Hurricanes, warnings and not wanting to believe

November 5, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  56 Comments

The predictions were dire. Hurricane Sandy had been stewing in the Caribbean for days. It was projected to travel up the East Coast of the United States and then make a left turn—heading directly into my home at the Jersey Shore. A year ago, my husband, Terry, and I had heard similar warnings about Hurricane Irene. Officials were predicting a direct hit and ordered everyone to evacuate the islands along the Jersey Shore. We moved as much as we could from our ground floor, which actually goes down two steps from the sidewalk. It included the queen-sized mattress from the futon in our recreation room, the television, my husband's drum set, tools and boxes and boxes of Lovefraud materials. T …

Hurricanes, warnings and not wanting to believeRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Lured and caught by a sociopath

November 4, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  92 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following article from a reader called "Makemenew2012." The Lure I met my second husband, an African immigrant, on a social media site in early January of this year. Mr. C (as I'll refer to him) connected with me through a mutual acquaintance and began sending me e-mails every day. At first, his messages seemed rather innocent— Mr. C asked how my day was going, what the weather was like, etc. But after a few days, he began fishing for information, inquiring about my husband and children. The first time, I ignored his question and responded on my own behalf. The next time, I replied that I didn't have a husband or children. And that was his cue to st …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Lured and caught by a sociopathRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Media sociopaths, Seduced by a sociopath

TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: He told me he loved me and would someday marry me

October 29, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  10 Comments

Lovefraud received the following email from a young lady whom we'll call "Suzette." I'm only twenty years old & I feel like my soul has been snatched out of me. I met him in my neighborhood; we'd been acquainted for a year. He contacted me out of the blue about how hurt he was that his girlfriend cheated (Lie#1). We hung out, I was charmed & wooed and he told me he loved me, & would someday marry me because I was the one. He just didn't know if he could handle jumping into something serious. I settled for taking it slow. He claimed he fell on hard times (Lie#2), couldn't find a job (actually wasn't looking) and needed a place to stay. I have a giving heart and so I felt sorry …

TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: He told me he loved me and would someday marry meRead More

Category: Targeted Teens and 20s

News reports say British TV star Jimmy Savile was a sexual predator for decades

October 27, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  128 Comments

Jimmy Savile was one of the most well-know stars of British television. Everyone knew he was eccentric and many people apparently knew he was also a sexual predator who targeted young girls for decades. Jimmy Savile scandal on BBC.co.uk. 'If we blabbed on Jimmy, the family would have been left with nothing': Savile's abused great niece tells how paedophile DJ bought his relatives' silence, on DailyMail.co.uk. Britain's Jimmy Savile abuse scandal: how could his crimes have gone unnoticed for so long? on WashingtonPost.com. Links supplied by a Lovefraud reader. [youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/6nHDZfSl36g] …

News reports say British TV star Jimmy Savile was a sexual predator for decadesRead More

Category: Media sociopaths

What should she do about a violent stalker?

October 22, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  13 Comments

Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader: Your website has been very enlightening. I was dating a psychopath for a few months. Luckily I escaped before too long. He fits the traits TO A TEE! Everything this man said was a lie. I could go on and on about the things that happened but I am typing on my smart phone and am just looking for your advice on one thing for now. One of the things I found out he was lying about was the fact that he went to prison for murder. He is on parole.  After I left him (I am now 3000 miles away) he has been calling me sometimes 30 times a day. I had to call block and text block him. I am considering calling his probation officer to …

What should she do about a violent stalker?Read More

Category: Laws and courts, Seduced by a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Before marriage, do your homework

October 21, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  54 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was received by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Adelade." It's been over a year since I discovered that the man that I married had been living a double-life before we ever even met. My vulnerabilities were the beacon that he gravitated towards: exiting an abusive marriage, loving to my children, spiritually "grounded," artistic and creative, and all of these attributes and vulnerabilities in addition to a "socially connected" family with a colorful history were exploitable and desirable. I believed his words and assertions because I wanted to. I "needed" to feel validated and valued because I couldn't provide this to myself, on my own. I've …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Before marriage, do your homeworkRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Seduced by a sociopath

Disarray in the DSM-5

October 17, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  157 Comments

The American Psychiatric Association is in the process of updating its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the DSM-5. This is the "bible" used by psychiatrists and other mental health professionals to diagnosis psychiatric conditions, including antisocial personality disorder. Two members of the committee working on personality disorders have resigned, stating that the proposal displays a "stunning disregard for evidence." Dr. Liane Leedom and I had issues with how the first draft described antisocial personality disorder, which was why we conducted a Lovefraud survey back in 2010. Based on the survey results, we submitted Lovefraud's  comment about sociopaths for the DSM-5. The d …

Disarray in the DSM-5Read More

Category: Scientific research

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  • eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws  : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”
  • jhmb6 on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “This article suggests that all narcissists are not simply narcissists. There always seems to be a co-occurring disorder. All evidence…”
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