Lovefraud Reader

UPDATED FOR 2021. Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a man whom we'll call "Scott." Scott was involved with a woman who he now believes is a narcissist or sociopath. We'll call her "Valerie." Valerie had a son and told Scott that he was the father, although he had his doubts. The two split up, but Scott supported the boy for 18 years and was active in his life. Then Scott found out that he was not the boy's father, and Valerie is now doing everything she can to keep the boy away from Scott. A father's tragedy I claim you as my son. I claim you as only a father can! However, you don't claim me, the man who raised you. The first time I saw your face your …

A father writes: Open letter to my sonRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Verna21.” She’s a mental health counselor who was deceived by a psychopathic co-worker. I worked at the Department of Corrections as a mental health counselor. One of the officers targeted me after my grandmother died and after I had gone through two years of abuse trying to stay in D.O.C. after I stood up for myself and asked for a group of officers to be held accountable for their sexually inappropriate behaviors. D.O.C. would not be responsible and they made accusations against me and although I was told that there was no proof or evidence of any behaviors on my part, it didn't matter because the off …

Mental health counselor learns about psychopaths the hard wayRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Carmen21. After going back and forth with a man for many years, she learned that sociopaths do not change. I met J in 2006 at work. At the time, I was involved in a long-distance relationship with my first love of 8 years. I was attracted to J the moment I saw him. During a work conversation, J asked me what my story was. I had a feeling he already knew because everyone at work talked about how I can do better and couldn’t understand how I was so loyal to a long-distance relationship. J said he knew but wanted to hear it from me. I asked him if he was in a relationship. He said he was from Boston and moved …

Learning the hard way that sociopaths do not changeRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Sharon21. she met a guy online. While he lied, I paid, she said. Names are changed. Whew! This is hard to revisit! I’m still very much in the healing process. I have listened to so many books, I have read so much on Narcissism, it has consumed my life. Until I experienced what I did, Narcissist was just a word to me. I truly believe the Narc I was involved with could lead the pack! It was that bad. I’m an empath. Hands down. I’m educated. I’m professional. I hold a Management position with a large corporation. I spend my days, caring for and helping the elderly. I’m a single mom of 3 kids. I was with the …

The six-month relationship: He lied, I paidRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, Marsha21. She believes her son is a sociopath, and describes his behavior from childhood to the present. Donna Andersen responds to her questions after her letter. I think my son is a sociopath. I say this with heaviness in my heart. Saying it out loud makes me sound like a terrible mother. I often chastise myself as to where I went wrong, how I could have done better, I take the blame. I’m still not entirely convinced that he is, but I do know there is something definitely wrong with him (his whole life). Even as a young child, I think he was manipulating me. Besides the “normal” things kids some …

I think my son is a sociopathRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story about psychological abuse and coercive control from a reader whom we'll call Abigal21. Names and locations are changed. So, it was 2013, I met up with my friend for her birthday, she had invited her ‘friend’ a guy she sort of used to see. She said, can you hang out with David because he doesn’t know anyone here and it’s awkward because I am with my boyfriend … I said okay I guess …… I wasn’t in the best state of mind as I had recently broken up with a guy who was becoming abusive (I had a habit of attracting these guys … I now realize.). So David and I end up talking, exchange numbers and start dating. According to him he is single, …

My story of psychological abuse and coercive controlRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Abby21. She describes how, after the sociopath came into her life, she went from stability to homelessness. After my father’s death in 2000 is when I became involved with a sociopath. Now I can look back and clearly see my vulnerability and why I was targeted. I was 30 years old and at the age of 16 actually babysat for him and his second wife, who was the bridesmaid in his first wife’s wedding. He has two children by his first wife and he felt he had to marry because at 17 she became pregnant and three boys from his second wife who according to him cheated on him and that is why they divorced. But rumor …

With the sociopath, I went from stability to homelessnessRead More

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story of abuse and domestic violence from a young woman whom we’ll call “Kassandra21.” I became host to a parasitic sociopath that eventually entrapped me by getting me pregnant, abused my oldest child psychologically and physically and was eventually arrested. It all happened so fast that by the time I understood what was happening my life was a total train wreck. My vulnerabilities made me weaker due to my drug and alcohol use, I was way too accepting of people, loved to love people, yet was unloving to myself. I also had my own place, kids, a car and income, and also partied, did drugs and had meaningless sex encounters. I was comple …

I was trapped by sociopathic abuse and domestic violenceRead More