How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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He lied up until the last minute of our relationship

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  Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Claudette." Met online. He was a perfect gentleman. We had several dates until he started talking about mind, body and spirit (which meant sex to him) and I mentioned I do not have sex just to be having sex. That night he says let's be boyfriend and girlfriend. So we did become BF and GF. I assumed (stupid me) that he would take his dating profile down since now in a committed relationship. I took mine down and never looked again, until one day my GF called me and told me that she was just matched (online dating site) with him. AND that he was currently online searching. Of, course I called him …

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The Truth Is Always in Plain Sight

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By Waleuska Lazo I thought I had found my Prince Charming. I thought I had found the one to share the rest of my life with. Four years later I have nothing to show, but a bleeding heart and a broken fairy tale. Looking back, I can see, the red flags were in plain sight. Yet, I chose to ignore them. I hope that my story can help you open your eyes, and see the warnings so you do not make the mistakes I made. I do not want my story to come across as bitter. I am not. I have made peace with the fact that I am responsible for my situation. My only goal is to share my truth. I realize my outreach can make me look naive and desperate. And you know what? I’m OK with that. My hope is that sharing …

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She presented as a sweet person with good manners, but she was a covert narcissist

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we'll call "Georgia." My story is three years in a same-gender relationship that began with off-the-charts chemistry. At 6 months the love bombing stopped and things slowly changed. In my personal experience there is a 'lesbian disadvantage' in the narc world because both these relationships often contain 4 of the most common traits; (a) lesbian bed-death at 3-6 months (same as the end of the love bombing), (b) self centered in nature, (c) moves the relationship to intimacy very quickly. (d) promiscuous behaviour & cheating. There were red flags that I saw and ignored which puzzled me because I had no …

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Before I felt angry, now I feel sad – I need advice

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Editor's notes: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as "Kaki Pants." I just came out of a relationship, a year long relationship, which I think the guy might be a psychopath after telling the whole story to my male friends, female friends never would have thought he could be a psycho btw. Men and women think very differently. So I met this guy a year ago, last April through an online dating app. We met for several times, dinners, lunches, coffees, I took it slow, cuz I didn't want to get myself attached too soon before knowing who this guy really is. Obviously, I didn't take it slow enough in the end. We got together; everything seems well. He runs a startup …

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Don’t try to understand their lies, because sociopaths ARE the lie

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Editor's note: This comment was posted by the Lovefraud reader "Stargazer" a few weeks ago. Readers have asked that it be highlighted as a post. By Stargazer You can try endlessly to figure out why a sociopath lies, but you can never quite grasp it because the motives are not really human as we know it. Sociopaths themselves ARE the lie. They lie because they lie because they lie. They lie because they can. They lie because it's fun. They lie because they want something in the moment. They lie because to them a lie has same value as telling the truth. Truth has no inherent virtue to them. And they mistakenly assume that because they lie, everyone lies. It is just a way of life to them. In …

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The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 2)

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Celia." Names have been changed. Read Part 1. His home loan Out of the blue one day, probably two weeks after I had arrived, he had me sit on his lap, and was stroking my arm lovingly. He casually asked if when my home sold, I could put the proceeds into his home loan. I got the strangest twinge of panic inside me, and asked him why I would do that. He immediately threw me off his lap and became tense and argumentative. To calm him down, I suggested we maybe buy a holiday home together along the coastline somewhere. He was not interested at all. Thinking back, he probably had a stinky credit record and …

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The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 1)

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Celia." Names have been changed. Hi Donna, I have been reading your blog for a few years now and although I have not made myself visible, I have been active reading all the stories and advice you have shared with everyone. Your blog created an awareness within myself of just what I had encountered, and why I felt so traumatised during and after the relationship. There were times I could not bring myself to read some of the stories, as it brought back so much of the trauma I was wanting to suppress. My relationship was very short, about 6 months in total, but nevertheless, shattered my dreams and faith in …

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Why I wrote my new book, ‘Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime!’

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By Joyce Short Romance scams are a crime epidemic! We read about them daily in the news and many of us here on Lovefraud have suffered from this malicious behavior! We were defrauded of our highest emotion, which is love, and deceived into sex by someone totally different than who they pretended to be. Millions have fallen victim to this crime wave. It won't stop ”˜til we do something about it! That's why I wrote Combating Romance Scams: Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime! I recently learned that Federal Prosecutors in Missouri included information about my blog, Stop Rape By Fraud, in their indictment to lock up a “serial rapist.” He'd used false pretenses to con over 30 victims. But blogs …

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Husband takes his new wife shopping on their honeymoon, buys her expensive gifts, and then she asks for divorce

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from an American man, whom we'll call "Brad." He met a Moroccan woman who lived in the U.K. We'll call her "Fatima." Fatima and I had unforgettable memories, which would be the base of any marriage. We laughed, we joked, we traveled, we spent so much time together. I took her with me to Morocco with our group going to Casablanca because I really liked her and wanted to spend time with her. We enjoyed lots of moments together, and she helped me with business, religion, and talked about all areas of life with me. She was such a great friend ”¦ easy going, fun, down to earth ”¦ relaxed ”¦ and it seemed like she really wanted to be with me …

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I had $100,000 ready to be put into his hands

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Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Genevieve." I connected with a boyfriend I was engaged to when I was 17. We knew each other since we were about 11. He called me after his 2nd marriage broke apart. I was married (and still am), and after getting reacquainted with him, fell back in love with him. I had no intentions of this happening, but he was filling a void. It was the honeymoon stage, the reminiscing from our teen years, and everything I thought we had in common. I always suspected he had another woman and confronted him at least 5 times ”¦ of which he denied. He was very jealous (always was), showed ownership of me, and told me he always loved me o …

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