How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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He was trying to kill me, and almost did: Part 1 of 3

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Corrine." I'd like to preface my story by describing my childhood. I led a charmed existence. I was smart and idealistic. I chose the field of medicine, despite my passion for writing, because I wanted to see humanity on its most fundamental level. My parents are hard working, and have built an empire from the ground up. As a young woman, I never would have imagined I'd become a victim to domestic violence. Nor did I dream I'd ever divorce. And it didn't happen overnight. There were layers upon layers of abuse that came in many forms, starting as attacks to my self-esteem. When I finally looked up …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Am I a victim of a psychopath?

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman from India whom we'll call "Nisa." I had a relationship with a man in the last year. He was in his separation at that time. I gradually fall for him. He told me about his wife and said that she cheated him in a very bad way by involving with another guy and she is not normal, has dual personality disorder. I felt the pain of this person in my heart and gradually became attached to him. As the day passes I started loving him. He said he loves me a lot. 'I fell as a boyfriend, I fell as a husband for you,' this was his language. Till one and a half months things were going good, but after that he became very possessive. He …

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Why I wrote ‘The One That Got Away’

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By Brigitte Knowles It was 2011, a good year. I made $235,000.00 in my business that year and was at the top of my game. I went out for drinks with a girlfriend in Delray Beach, Florida. My life was only about work and I did not realize that I was out of balance. I had not gone out to a club for years and at 55, I was not a frequent dater, celibate for 5 years. I was ripe for the picking. I did not know that there were Financial Predators in this world. I was targeted by an Italian man who professed true love and wanted to do real estate business with me. He asked for down payments to buy distressed housing in West Palm Beach. We visited several with two real estate agents, mine and his. …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I confronted him with what I learned, and was told I was a psychopath

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Editor's note: The following story was sent by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "CatieJane." I just finished reading a book about narcissists, written by a woman that in the book mentioned this site. I have now for several days, considered whether I should write here - and the reason I have doubts. Is that I still have doubts about whether it really is my ex or me that is "crazy" ”¦ I do not live in an English speaking country, I come from Denmark. So if I dont write proper English, I apologize in advance. My story ”¦ For 8 years I have been with my ex. 8 years that has been crazy. When I met him 8 years ago, he was this wonderful, loving, caring man. (Had never seen a man be so …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: With the sociopath, nothing made sense

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Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader who posts as "Remembertoforget." We met on Facebook, because we had mutual friends/acquaintances. I would see him comment on girls' posts. Funny because I deleted him thinking, I don't really know him. Why have him on here. He sooner or later re-friended me. ”¨I almost dodged a bullet. Perhaps my subconscience was one step ahead. I was depressed when I met him. Two friends had just passed away and I left my long-term boyfriend and was staying at my mom's. He would post stuff that attracted me, and one day I randomly messaged him. I never do that. SAD STORY: He had been upset because his children's mother had left hi …

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Her sociopathic husband: lies, cheating, pornography, burglary, and one day, she fears, revenge

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gemma." I married my sociopath after a whirlwind long-distance relationship. He swept me off my feet, seemed to love everything I loved. He introduced me to his family, I found soon after he had been married three times before. He said he married his first wife because she was pregnant, his second to get her into the country (she was Columbian), and he married his third wife to give her a feeling of security. I later found out he had cheated on every one of them. He told me he loved me and had saved the best 'til last. Things were OK to begin with, then I started noticing his control. He would tell …

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How to protect yourself from sociopathic charm

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following article from a user whom we'll call "Fiona." I'm currently being discarded. He has someone else lined up already, I found that out by reading his cellphone. I have moved towns already and he may have been sleeping with other people on and off throughout our relationship. I have found “no contact” very difficult. However, I think after my last visit back to see him, I've reached a stage where the absolute pointlessness of it is impossible to ignore. I know he has never cared for me. I don't want to tell the details of my story, but rather to point out a couple of things that I've found to be lifelines out of this situation. I knew it was ba …

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BOOK REVIEW: ‘Splitting’ – Critical help for divorcing a personality disordered husband or wife

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SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Randi Kreger, coauthor of Stop Walking on Eggshells Review by James Sullivan, Ph.D. Advertised as “the legal and psychological advice you need,” this is an invaluable guide for those in the vulnerable position described by the title. This is a most readable book, the text supplemented with helpful charts and bulleted notes. The authors pay attention to the myths and realities of the courtroom and the “dynamics of persuasiveness.” They warn against thinking that judges will find the behavior of the PD (personality disordered) person obvious. In fact, th …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My story about a family of sociopaths, or, how I got bankrupted the gentleman way

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a Greek woman, whom we'll call "Alessia." Names have been changed. In Greece I had a quiet life. I kept living with my Greek husband on a small island, we had a small rented house and a cute doggie called Fiffi. In Greece I got baptized as an orthodox Christian and got a new first name “Alessia”. Everything was just great until the economic crisis hit the island seriously. We had to leave, so we decided to move to Germany. After a move in summer 2011, I desperately tried to find a job in Germany. My Greek husband did not speak any German by that time. Our marriage did not survive the move so we considered to have a divorce. Thi …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: A sociopath’s power over uninformed humans

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who calls herself, "Emotionallyraped." You meet him (or her). He is charming and kind and exciting. He takes an interest in you and you feel special. He studies you. He learns your likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. He becomes exactly who you want him to be. He mirrors you. He is a chameleon. He tells you things you want to hear. He is intense. He quickly declares his love for you. He talks about plans for the future. He convinces you that you are meant to be together. This love is like nothing else you've ever experienced. You are high with happiness. You feel sorry for other people who don't have the love …

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