Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Octavia." I believe now that I was married to a sociopath. I was married 16 years and lived with him for 4 years. I became pregnant, had the baby and didn't marry until the baby was 9 months old. I had a sick feeling but went ahead with the marriage. The "put-downs" were subtle in the beginning. I was made to feel like I was a "lesser" person ”¦ the mocking, contempt, control were always there. When I challenged him, he immediately denied his actions ”¦ he was only kidding. I never had any decision making authority ”¦ it was always "pretend" equality/partnership. It took me years to realize his actions …
How to prepare for your child custody court battle against a sociopath
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following advice from a reader. By R. Brooks If you are like myself and have dealt (or are dealing) with a sociopath in court, you are fully aware of how difficult and exhausting it can be. These dealings are increasingly horrible when you are dealing with said person in a child custody hearing. I am here to tell you — YOU CAN BEAT THEM. However, to win takes commitment, consistency and most of all, patience. There is no such thing as instant gratification when you are dealing with this kind of individual, so if that is what you are expecting, it will never happen. I like the old saying, “Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves.” W …
How to prepare for your child custody court battle against a sociopathRead More
I tried for years to protect our children from their father, and the legal system did little to help
Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Rhoda." My ex is an attorney and used his position to financially ruin me by targeting our children. I spent over $250,000 on legal fees, while he was legally allowed to represent himself, and even question me on the witness stand as both my ex and his own attorney. The legal system allowed him to continue to drag me to court for 7 years. I was awarded sole custody twice and he waited for the judge to retire, filed again, and this time was awarded joint custody and I had not done anything different or wrong. Our children have suffered the most. Our now 21-year-old daughter wants nothing to do with …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Successful No Contact against the sociopath
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Claudette." My problem is the same as many other whose lives have been sucked into that of a sociopath. I met mine about this time last year. My long-term relationship has broken down and I was feeling unhappy, lonely and vulnerable. He seemed like everything I could ever have wanted charming, funny, affectionate then loving and very sexy. He would send me loads of texts telling me how much he wanted me and then how much he loved me and that we were perfect together and amazing in bed and out. I left my home and got a flat so that I could be with him crazy I know but it seemed so right. My former …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Successful No Contact against the sociopathRead More
I thought I was the 3rd wife, but I was more like No. 8
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gale." I was a widow for 5 years. After being married for 43 years, my husband died of cancer. I did not like being alone and therefore I was vulnerable, to say the least. I enjoyed being a wife & mother, and sharing, loving & caring for my family. I met my psycho on the internet, thru a dating web site. Had I trusted my intuition, I would have run. There were many red flags. I did not ignore, but was charmingly convinced I was not being fair, but judgmental. I considered myself to be the 3rd wife, but after several years of marriage, one of his daughters convinced me I was more like number …
I thought I was the 3rd wife, but I was more like No. 8Read More
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I will not let another person control my heart and my brain
Editor's note: The following email was received from a reader whom we'll call "Clara." I am so glad that I decided to look into narcissism and psychological problems. I have found my answers and feel better already. I now have an answer to what happened to my whirlwind romance. Thankfully I was a lot luckier than the other women that have posted. My guy was perfect for 4 months. Then it went into hyperdrive and he told me he was in love with me. I was feeling it also. He emotionally got me into that position for the 4 months. He was beautiful and loving and thoughtful. I couldn't believe my luck! Exactly 9 days after he told me he was in love with me, our relationship was over. He said …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I will not let another person control my heart and my brainRead More
I couldn’t believe he was so harsh and cruel
Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Trina." Names have been changed in this tale. I dated "Samuel" for three and one half years. I knew he had a criminal past and supported him changing and turning his life around. We were penpals and he wrote me beautiful letters and poems declaring his love. He was amazing at first and so perfect for me, we clicked on every level and I had never met someone more right for me so I moved to the United States. At first he was still very loving although a little dull if I'm honest. After a while we began arguing. One argument was on New Year's eve. A woman from his work called him before midnight. I go …
He admitted to being a sociopath
Editor's Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "DamnItHappenedToMe." I went on an online chat and began a relationship through Skype with a man in the United States who was, as I was, a dual citizen -- Canadian/American. This was in October, 2012. He informed me he was divorced for three years. We met in the United States for a day and then I found out on Facebook that he was married. He admitted it and I said I wanted nothing to do with him. He pursued me and told me he was getting a divorce. After he said he was divorced (filed) in March, 2013, he flew me to spend ten days with him in the United States where I met his family. I flew …
Help pass the New Jersey law to deter ‘sexual assault by fraud!’
By Joyce M. Short Author, Carnal Abuse by Deceit, How a Predator's Lies Became Rape Sex fraud has defiled the lives of many Lovefraud participants! We are very fortunate that Donna has built this wonderful healing community that enables victims to exchange supportive ideas and promote healing. Here, we can escape the invalidation we often confront in society, and gain the tools we need in order to heal. We now have the possibility to deter this heinous crime. Sociopaths don't stop behaving badly because we need or want them to. They stop because they'll be exposed or because they'll suffer consequences. Creating a law to make Sexual Assault by Fraud a crime in New Jersey is a good f …
Help pass the New Jersey law to deter ‘sexual assault by fraud!’Read More
I was his target for someplace to land, transportation, whatever he needed (Part 2 of 2)
Editor's note: The following story was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Carmella." Read Part 1. I had been asking questions to the family friend about why the guys were either quitting or getting fired within a few weeks. My guy kept blaming them; they started out great but in his eyes they turned out to be lazy. The next day is when I spoke to family friends that had worked for him only to be fired or had quit. He was bullying them and had told them what they did together stayed between them, don't tell me. They confirmed my suspicions, he had a fling with my old neighbor, was talking to other women on the phone, meeting other woman for lunch and kissing them goodbye etc. …
I was his target for someplace to land, transportation, whatever he needed (Part 2 of 2)Read More