How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Sociopathic wife determines what husband is ‘allowed’ to do

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 Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Friend's Keeper.” I am writing this about a friend who I am trying to help who is clearly involved with a sociopath. My friend is a male, married to a sociopathic woman. Her acts and behavior are really unbelievable unless you see for yourself. What he's ”˜allowed' She takes his entire paychecks (salary plus state pension totaling $14,000/mo), and puts him on a $100/mo allowance, which he gets only if he's good, while she takes the rest. She convinces him it's all for him. He's only allowed out of the house to go to work, and she times him on when he gets home. He's not allowed out on the even …

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The Decision’s In on Oscar Pistorius

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Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of “Carnal Abuse by Deceit How a Predator's Lies Became Rape.” By Joyce M. Short  I watched the final decision on the cases against Oscar Pistorius at the ungodly hour of 3:30 this morning. The trial took place in South Africa, so my head bobbed as I struggled to remain conscious enough to deal with the time zone difference between Cape Town and New York City, where I live. To me, this case's importance was just too relevant to miss! The Judge, Thokozile Matilda Masipa, had already decided to find Pistorius not guilty of the two most serious murder offenses he was charged with. There is no jury trial for murder in South Africa. It's all up to …

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He does not know how to tell the truth — he lies just to lie

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name of "Lauren2014." I opened my home, soul and heart to someone who had a ”past.” He was able to pull at my heartstrings and tell me horrific stories of his childhood and terrible accounts of his upbringing so that I would feel sorry for him. I was willing to overlook his “past” and the bad decisions he made as an adult because I felt it was attributed to his childhood. (Most of which are lies.) I thought every word he told me was the truth. I would later find out he does not know how to tell the truth. He lies just to lie. There were so many red flags in the beginning and I still ignored them. …

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He has no remorse for the complete fraud he was to me and our children

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name of  "Beverly2014." I have told this story so many times and feel like no matter how much I discuss it I could never tell it all because there are so many details and incidents that occurred that it would be exhausting and somewhat impossible. I met my Sociopath about two years after my divorce from my first marriage which was abusive in its own way. My Socio preyed on my vulnerability and used it against me. When we met online he was instantly every dream I had ever dreamed of -- the "perfect" man. Looking back on everything it is so frustrating the level of deceit and energy he put into fo …

He has no remorse for the complete fraud he was to me and our childrenRead More

I was bowled over; I really thought the guy was in love with me

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Mary2014". I first met J when he came to fit a new door. I had recently moved house and was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of work to be done. He was extremely polite and well mannered and appeared to be attentive to my specific needs. He visited regularly bringing catalogues to choose doors, glass, etc., and seemed very keen to make sure that I was happy with the work he did. Although I did feel quite vulnerable having a strange man in the house he soon managed to put me at ease to the extent where I gave him a key so he could come into the house to work when I wasn't there. I …

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My sociopathic boyfriend went from idealizing me to neglecting me

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Editor's Note: This SPATH TALE was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Kathleen Jones." I dated a sociopath for two years before I found out what he was. We met on an online dating site. He mirrored my shyness and interests. I was smitten with him right away. He was not pushy, but patient, and soon we were a couple. After three months of bliss, he would start arguments with me over nothing, but would manipulate me by crying and lying so that I always thought I was in the wrong. It was a long distance relationship, so we saw each other on the weekends. He went from idealizing me, to neglecting me. When I would bring up how I felt, he would say he felt pressured …

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My narcissistic father made it no secret that he preferred my siblings over me

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by Lovefraud reader “Isis2014” My father displays behaviors that are consistent with narcissistic personality disorder. He was emotionally abusive and neglectful to my mother, my siblings and me. He and my mother were married for 28 years. Months before their 28th anniversary, my mother discovered that my father had a 25 year old daughter. She is three weeks younger than my parent's second child. He hid his daughter's existence for 25 years. No one knew about her, not even his own parents. My father exploits people, especially ones who are shy and quiet. He has exploited all of his children and continues to exploit my brother to this day …

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I am getting more imprisoned daily

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Editor's Note: This Spath story was submitted by Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Tina-Marie.” I was married to a Cluster B - sociopath, psychopath, narcissist. He left the children and me six years ago. He created a smear campaign against us before he left unbeknownst to us. This was so he would have a posse of people who would feel sorry for him. He took all the money and borrowed against our jointly owned home without my knowledge or consent. Since he left he has denied the payment of our daughter's school, while he pays for the son. He had our son kicked out of his beloved chorus where he sang for seven years. The dad floated a big check for the expulsion. He has hacked into …

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If his eyes could talk when he walked out, they would have said “this pond’s been fished out”

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Editor's Note: This Spath story was submitted by Lovefraud reader “Christina2014” I met him while I was working as a designer. He was homeless, penniless, hitchhiking through the country. He told me that his family disowned him and that he is a writer/activist. He introduced himself with a fake name at first, but later, when he realized that I was a worthwhile victim, he gave me his real name and decided to camp out in my life for a while. I helped him get his identifications (he told me he burned them out of protest, finding out years later that he skipped parole in Illinois), drove him to GE classes and helped him even to enroll into College. During the 14 years we were together h …

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I had a seven-year affair with my sociopath pastor

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Editor's note: This story was written by a reader whom we'll call "Carlotta." My story began rather sad. I met the P when I was almost 15. I am 22 now and had dated this man for seven years in a secret relationship that no one knew about. At that time (seven years ago), he was married for a year and was a pastor of a church. He began using his authority to get close to me and hang out with him more and one day approached me and told me that he is attracted to me and loves me, also mentioning that he feels so loved by me and no one else. He said his wife had cheated on him with someone else and he receives no love from her whatever and really loves me. I was confused at the time but …

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