Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the reader who calls herself "Allergic to Spandex." Other names have been changed as well. By the time my sociopath husband "The Dope" (now, thankfully, my ex) developed testicular cancer, I knew that he was not a "consultant," but a marijuana dealer who didn't even make much money at it. He explained this as noble guerrilla warfare in the fight to legalize marijuana, a cause I still agree with despite him. He claimed that the people he sold pounds of pot to made sure that it got into the hands of medical patients. This was probably a lie too, but it's how he brainwashed me when I was 18. There's cheatin' goin' on I knew that …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My sociopath partner gave me HIV
Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by a reader who calls himself "Fred." I bloomed late. At age 53 I grew tired of a lonely and celibate life, I finally admitted to myself and others I was gay. It didn't take long to find my first boyfriend who was a super sweet, moral guy, like myself, but after nine months it was apparent we weren't a match. Drawn to downtown guy Many months passed and I again was so lonely. I saw this guy at a downtown club. I'm not sure what the draw was. He was bald, slightly chunky but seemed to be the most beautiful guy I've ever seen. Funny now, because others tell me he's not attractive. I'll call him Adam. I tried to work up the courage …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The only hope I have is that Karma exists
Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by Lovefaud reader whom we'll call “Bessy.” A "relationship" that spanned one year will take me a lifetime, no doubt, to even try to comprehend. From my readings, which have been countless, I know there will never be "closure." This person I didn't even "invite" into my life, effortlessly wormed his way in very quickly and drove me to lose 80 pounds and become suicidal. In the blink of an eye. I would not even normally associate with this type of person he would never be in my circle of friends. Right off the bat, I had glaring red flags and ignored or explained every single one of them away Be more adventurous, I told myself. Give t …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Reader needs advice to protect her kids
Editor's Note: The Lovefraud reader who goes by the name of “NomorePTSD” has a request. Can any Lovefraud readers offer her any advice or suggestions? This is “NomorePTSD.” My blog post, LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Escaping my mother, the sociopath, appeared on Lovefraud in June of 2013. I talked about my healing from flashbacks that were a result of my childhood and beginning adulthood relationship with my mother, a sociopath who stalked me for 18 years, motivated largely by envy. We are doing total No Contact, and have essentially erased ourselves from the map of her world. Now I have a bit of a dilemma with privacy. My husband and I moved to a new place, bought our home in a LLC and our ca …
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Why I wrote ‘The Devil’s Opus’
By Margaux Mannion Brown Editor's note: Margaux Mannion Brown is the pen name for a Lovefraud reader. Ideas for The Devil's Opus began to emerge when I became fascinated with sociopathic personalities. This occurred when I discovered that one of my close friends had married one. Everyone liked Joe. He was charming, flattering, and helpful. So helpful, that through his career as an investment broker, he was able to scam hundreds of thousands of dollars out of his clients, friends and family. Most of the money was lost on gambling. The rest of it went on big houses, fancy cars, and expensive vacations he pretended to afford. Things fell apart for Joe when people began to demand their i …
Is Rape Law Still in the Dark Ages?
Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a just released book, “Carnal Abuse by Deceit.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. By Joyce M. Short A new case in New Jersey will soon test that concept. Enforcers will determine whether rape law protects a person's right to self determination over their personal sexual intimacy. They could decide that choice simply does not matter at all, or they could protect the victim's entitlement to choice based on the same rights granted in every other human int …
LETTER TOLOVEFRAUD: I saw her true self when we were alone; she put on a show for others
Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by Lovefraud reader “Pricer," about his wife. Donna, I would first like to thank you for your efforts in helping others like us cope with the aftermath of a relationship with a sociopath. I also express my condolences for you and everyone else who has suffered at the hands of such a person. I, like yourself, never knew what a sociopath even was until my divorce and I got online searching for answers. My search led me to your site and others and I want to let you know that what you are doing here is not only a good thing but the right thing as well. I am a member on your site and just like everyone else, my story is much too long f …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: To she who has a child with the sociopath from the “other woman”
Editor's Note: The Lovefraud reader "bodicasway" recently sent in the following note. It's a message she wishes she could send to the former partner of the sociopath that she was involved with. I have been thinking lately about the woman who puts up with this spath because they have a child together, because she let him move back into property next door to her, because she sees what he's up to all the time ”¦ because I was involved with him as were countless other women. Right under her nose. Dear Friend, I know that you've seen countless women come and go right under your window, right outside the door of your own home. I can only imagine how that must feel for you, how that must rake yo …
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Maybe victim’s statement helps as parole denied for Iowa stalker Michael Bonert
Michael Bonert, who was sentenced to 21 years in prison for stalking his former girlfriend, Vicki Kuper, had a parole interview in Iowa on March 19, 2014. Vicki attended the hearing to protest his parole. "During questioning he was asked if there are any pending criminal cases," Vicki said. "First he admitted that he has filed for post conviction relief, then he said that there is an investigation that he initiated two months ago against me for perjury. "The board was ready to grant parole today until this information came to light. After that the whole atmosphere changed. They had a very short discussion and all agreed to deny parole. They then went back to Mike and told him that …
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Letters to Lovefraud: I could no longer share my life with someone who lacked a conscience and integrity
Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by Lovefraud reader DonnaC. Other names in this letter have been changed. Below is a letter my former husband wrote shortly after I had told him that our marriage was over. He spent two weeks trying to convince me to give him time to ”˜once again' prove he could be the man he was meant to be. When we married 11 years earlier he was handsome, successful and fun. We met after my loveless first marriage. I was a happy outgoing person but he knew about my withdrawn ex husband and so it was easy to ”˜love bomb' me. I found his confidence, energy and zest for life intoxicating. There were the expected adjustments to our new married life, and …