How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Why do they always come bouncing back like bad pennies

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By Sarah Strudwick It's just coming up for three years now since I wrote Dark Souls, in the hope it would help other women who have been though the same as me. In January 2010 I kicked out my psychopathic ex after uncovering a string of lies which included working for a job that never existed, feigning cancer, multiple sexploits on the internet, and advertising his services as a sperm donor. The list goes on. Over the last three years I have worked tirelessly to get myself out of debt, educate others and, more important, heal from the abuse. Yet up until a couple of months ago, this person continued to stalk me. I've had to change my phone number three times as a result, and I lost a …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I lost myself in the relationship with a sociopath

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Editor's note: The following article was submitted by a reader who writes as "Buffalo Girl." The boy across the street. I remember him back in the late 70's. My family had moved into the new neighborhood. I was 12. He was the popular 13-year-old who always hung out with the cool boys who were years older than him. And they seemed to idolize him. I remember the second day in my new catholic grammar school ”¦”¦ me, the new girl, and him already there for years. But the teachers were fed up with him. Second day of school. The head nun and a few teachers surrounded him in the hall. They were already frustrated and ganged up on him. Saying they've had enough and were not going to take anoth …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: The sociopath didn’t take it all from us

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Editor's note: The following article was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Adelade." I've experienced so much personal loss as a result of my second marriage that I don't know if I'll ever recover.  I lost my belongings, all of my inheritance, and I nearly lost my will to live.  When I returned home and the hot water wasn't coming out of the spigot, I took my little flashlight down to the basement - dirt and gravel floor, unheated, and housing a dead furnace.  I opened the door to the basement and was met with a wall of warm, moist air and the sound of running water.  It was 27 degrees, outside, and 37 degrees inside the shell of the dwelling where I'm currently liv …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Trail of Water, Tears and Betrayal

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader who writes as "Esther." I am watching with horror as I see the devastation of Hurricane Sandy. The water and photos of devastation bring back memories for me of my experiences in South Florida—three hurricanes back to back destroyed my home. I was married to the sociopath at that time. He enjoyed the attention and the chaos. I was devastated and overwhelmed. The insurance adjusters, claims, trying to get tarps to protect the home from further rain and damage, the ceiling collapsing and the black mold that began to appear on the walls after the power was restored. Contractors could not be found, and the predators looking f …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This year, holidays without the sociopath

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Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Adelade." Holiday seasons are looming on the horizon. For those of us who are in recovery, this time of year can be very depressing, or very liberating. For those who are still embedded in the World of Spath, the holiday season can be more desperate than any other time of the year. Before escaping sociopathic entanglements, the Holiday Season is a time of withhold/reward, predictable outcomes, and ruined expectations. "Perhaps, this year will be better. Perhaps, he/she will make the changes and save the relationship." Well, if the spath isn't engaging in withhold/reward, they're engaging in …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: One-year anniversary of the SNAP that was my sanity speaking

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who uses the name "DamselflyNOTdistressed." OCTOBER 24, 2012 - Today is the one-year anniversary of my breakup from a SPath and the "nervous breakdown" that followed. My body and life at that moment felt viscerally like the total collapse of everything I thought I knew about myself. It was undoubtedly one of the worst moments of my life. And I am grateful. It had only been five months, and what a grand rollercoaster ride! We were fellow bohemians, and we met as nude models in a grand tableau vivant performance by an emerging and prolifically talented artist. Though my third time participating in such an exquisite …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Bernice." I had been out of an 18-year marriage for a year when I met my lovefraud. My husband was a selfish man who enjoyed his pornography. At the beginning I tried to be the good wife, experience things with him. The pornography I just couldn't bring myself to enjoy. I explained to him that for me it was a major turn off, almost sickening some of it. All that accomplished was him watching alone. When the children came along we only grew further apart. Over the rest of the marriage he became more and more independent from the children and I, often treating us like we were an inconvenience. He would …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A hard fought battle, but no regrets

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following from the reader who posts as "RobertInSeattle." I've been running into sociopaths all my life often when I least expected it. And believe me when I tell you the more I learn, the less I know! As I've been delving into all of this more deeply than I ever have in the past (all because of my breakup earlier this year with my most recent sociopath encounter), it's finally gotten me to looking much farther back into my own long history with them. There was so little discussion and certainly few if any online support groups in years past that actually addressed sociopathy when I went through my first divorce which started back in 1989. Many …

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TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: Snagged by a sociopath on Facebook and Twitter

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Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Alexa." I'd like to tell you a brief story of something that lasted nearly 3 years ALL ON SOCIAL MEDIA and the telephone. I am a 27-year-old Law Student with a Master's Degree in Sociology and Criminology of all things and this happened to me. A raging feminist who rarely dated somehow fell helpless prey to a sociopath. This was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life and now I can see him doing it to someone else. I went to law enforcement with no avail because of the Internet and my lack of real knowledge of who he is. It began with love bombing he friended me on Facebook and liked almost …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: His most lethal weapon was disarming ‘innocence’

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Editor's note: The following story was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Beatrice." The name of the perpetrator has been changed. Its now four months since I've found out the cold, hard truth about my ex, and I really want to move on, but would also find it cathartic to share my horrific experience with as many people as possible also if I can help one other person to avoid the pain and trauma of the past two years I will not have wasted my time. Please feel free to share this with as many people as possible, the more people know about these dangerous predators, the less their power to destroy others lives will be. Four months ago on 15 May 2012 I had a phone call which …

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