How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Travis Vining, son of a serial killer, talks about healing from destructive relationships

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/eaqU-ewn4gY" title="Travis%20Vining,%20the%20son%20of%20a%20serial%20killer,%20talks%20about%20healing%20from%20destructive%20relationships"] We try to ignore the agony of betrayal, hoping it will go away. Paradoxically, says Travis Vining, author of Transforming Darkness to Light for Giving, it's not in spite of our difficulties that we find freedom, but because of them. Travis Vining will be presenting a Lovefraud Continuing Education webinar  called, The Miracle in the Madness - the pathway to healing from destructive relationships. He will explain how to gently, courageously, overcome the pain of betrayal by a sociopath. Travis' goal is to offer the …

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The Recovery Poem – ‘I could not care less’

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Editor's note: This poem of recovery was written by Lovefraud reader, Arpinsandie. (To clarify the first line, a "6th form pupil" is a British term roughly equivalent to a high school student.) By Arpinsandie You cheated on your first wife with a 6th form pupil and groomed pupils You lost your family because of your behaviour You blamed your wife Your second wife found real love through your abhorrent lies anger rage and dominance You blamed her The 3rd - long term partner - Me You tried to control destroy by lying cheating verbally assaulting bullying a classic case of narcissistic behaviour I dumped you You will blame me But then be proud you are an A1 sociopathic robot Who has lost …

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Tina Swithin, author of OneMomsBattle.com, presents ‘Understanding the language of a narcissist’ on Lovefraud CE

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Lovefraud is very pleased to announce that Tina Swithin, author of the well-known website, OneMomsBattle.com, will be presenting an important Lovefraud CE webinar: Understanding the Language of a Narcissist During a Divorce or Custody Battle Tuesday, August 9, 8-9 pm ET Recording subsequently available on demand Tina knows from first-hand experience the madness anyone trying to divorce a narcissist encounters. She says: Looking back, the red flags had been waving in the wind since our very first date. Those flags grew larger and more vibrant during our marriage. As it turns out, those same red flags that had been lining my path for years were dipped in highly flammable kerosene. I realized …

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Sociopaths–Diverging Public Versus Private Personas

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  By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 16: You Have But Slumber'd Here While These Visions Did Appear I chalked up Paul's honeymoon comment to the shock and stress of us both returning to our grueling careers after our wedding and week off in California. Like a dream, the clarity of the incident and subsequent confusing and unsatisfying conversation with Paul faded. Life went on. Perhaps …

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My life Living with a Sociopath (5 Years Wasted)

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  My husband on the outside — the man everyone else sees: - The nicest person you could ever meet - Positive, Non-Confrontational, High Energy, Bubbly Personality - Will bend over backwards to do anything to help anyone - He is everyone's best friend - He will cook for you or will clean dishes if you cook for him ”¦ and always offers a helping hand - Very attentive - Very loving - Will serve you coffee in bed every morning and maybe breakfast too! - The kindest and biggest gentleman you think you have ever met - Will always tell you how beautiful you are everyday - He will take very good care of you financially - He is always concerned for everyone's well being - He is an …

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Sociopaths–Why We Believe Their Lies

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By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 15: He Always Tells the Truth—Even When He Lies Much as agents in the Men in Black movies used “neutralizers” to erase any recall of alien encounters, Paul dazzled and distracted me with brilliant linguistic gymnastics to obscure any glimpses of his true, dark, soulless self. He was masterful at talking his way out of anything and creating an alternate reality to …

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My new dog offers a lesson in letting go

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  Meet my new dog, Bo. My husband, Terry, and I brought him home from a shelter on Thursday. I've been meaning to get a dog ever since my previous dog, Beau, died of old age. That was more than 13 years ago. What took so long? I never felt like I had the time or the energy for another dog then suddenly, more than a decade slipped by. My first dog, Beau Beau was with me when I met my sociopathic ex-husband. During all the confusion and upheaval of my fake marriage to James Montgomery, my dog was the loyal companion that my husband should have been. After two and a half years with Montgomery, I discovered that my entire marriage was a scam. I left him, and Beau was my comfort. As …

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I wish I would have known sooner that people like this existed

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  Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader who posts as "Zenagirl10" sent the following story. I have had 5 years experience with a sociopath. It started out my ex was dating a friend of mine and they were engaged to be married. They broke up and she moved away. Then he set his sights on me. Initially I was not interested in him at all. But I thought he wants to buy all these things for me and at the time I could only afford the necessities. So I continued with the relationship. Everything moved so quickly, he was constantly texting, phoning and wanting to be by my side 24-7. I was like wow, he must really be in love with me. There were several red flags that I did not notice and I wish I …

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‘Coercive control:’ Domestic violence without the physical abuse

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In an article in the New York Times, writer Abby Ellin explains the concept of "coercive control" a pattern of behavior in which one partner in a romantic relationship dominates his or her partner. She writes: Coercive control describes an ongoing and multipronged strategy, with tactics that include manipulation, humiliation, isolation, financial abuse, stalking, gaslighting and sometimes physical or sexual abuse. England and Wales have just passed a law making coercive or controlling behavior a form of domestic violence. The United States should do the same. With coercive control, the abuse is psychological, on NYTimes.com.   …

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Not Knowing About Sociopaths = Big Red Flags Missed

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By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 14: Danger! Bridge Out Ahead “Our honeymoon isn't over until I say it's over” was not just a red flag, it was an oversized, florescent red flag accompanied by blaring sirens and fireworks. Why did I miss what is so obvious in hindsight? I did not understand that people like Paul really exist in the world, not just in movies or as someone else's husband on shows like …

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