I have access to some of the greatest minds in the world of psychopathy. For years, these individuals have studied, taught, researched, and written. Yet, when they have certain questions that they just don't understand, they ask me. At times, I sit back and think about how amazing that is. At others, I genuinely wish I had no clue about this subject. I lived with psychopathy. I watched it, learned, and put all of the pieces of this very complex puzzle together. Then, I spent a significant amount of time doubting whether or not it could be. But it was. It is. When I realized this, I set out to educate the world. I was on a mission that caused our worlds to collide. Before long, I …
Why A Relationship With A Sociopath is Soul-Destroying–Some Thoughts
Many people describe a long-term relationship with a sociopath as “soul-destroying?” Mine was. But, why? How does this happen. I'm still searching for all the answers, but here are some thoughts. Insidious Erosion Perhaps some, but not all, of the answer is erosion. Increasingly, he doesn't come home for dinner; she's chronically late for commitments with you; he flirts with other women in front of you, then denies it, attributing your concern to your insecurity; instead of engaging you over brunch, she's constantly checking her phone. Sometimes, she just ignores you. He contemptuously rolls his eyes as you voice your opinion, but denies it. He says he wants to take you to dinner and wants yo …
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She pursued me, produced divorce papers, but was married the entire time
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gretta." Many of people join groups on Facebook with similar interests to meet up with friends and potentially if we find ourselves lucky or unlucky enough in my case something more. In my particular case, it was an older lesbian group on FB. I am going to share a very private, yet painful experience that I have encountered with you all in hopes this may prevent another person from going thru the emotional, heart breaking, financial and shameful experience that I have recently encountered. First a little history about me. July of this upcoming year, will be two years since my Wife passed away suddenly. I …
She pursued me, produced divorce papers, but was married the entire timeRead More
An inside look at sociopathic callousness and betrayal
In a post on Yahoo!, here's how a woman describes her mother: She was a woman motivated solely by money and other shallow luxuries of life. If her husband spent 17 days of a month out of the country, signing huge deals, it was only to bring to his beautiful (on the outside) wife all the extravagances he knew, she had an eye for - perfumes from Paris, dresses from London, and lipsticks from New York. My father was basically running errands to populate my mother's closet, in the guise of business meetings. While her husband was on these business/shopping trips, the wife entertained another man in her bed. And the woman telling the story well, the whole scenario affected her, although …
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Please keep Lovefraud co-founder in your thoughts and prayers
I've written quite a few times about the wonderful relationship that I have with my husband, Terry Kelly. Yes, there is love after a sociopath. Terry is my business partner in Lovefraud. He funded building the website and the printing of my books. When business decisions about Lovefraud need to be made, he's my consultant. He even handles shipping when we receive book orders. I'm writing this as I sit in the ICU waiting room of our local hospital. Terry suffered a heart attack on Tuesday. It's been a long week. This came totally out of the blue. Terry does not have any of the typical risk factors of heart disease. No family history. No smoking. He's not overweight, he eats well, he …
Please keep Lovefraud co-founder in your thoughts and prayersRead More
Catfish Romance Scams; Why They Should be Outlawed!
By Joyce Short Author: Carnal Abuse by Deceit Catfish are swindlers who trick people into romance. They post false information on the internet to get you hooked. Catfish romance scams can happen when people don't meet, as well as when they do. There's no limit to how the relationship progresses. Sexual bonding is caused by chemistry in your brain. Some people lack this brain chemistry, but for those who have a healthy dose of it, they'll become addicted to their lover, just like if they injected or snorted an addictive drug. To read the rest of this insightful look at catfishing, read Joyce Short's post: Catfish romance scams why they should be outlawed! …
Catfish Romance Scams; Why They Should be Outlawed!Read More
Sociopaths are Superb Natural Psychologists
Sociopaths are superb natural psychologists, but they use their insights about human behavior to control and erode. Past Frameworks Bias How We Perceive New Information The world is not black and white; it includes countless shades of grey. To create meaning and clarity out of the grey, we use past frameworks (e.g., my ex-husband, "Paul," is a good, honest person) to process incoming data (the fact that he so often works late reflects his dedication to his career and commitment to support his family). Yet, once this framework has been established, and once we create an explanation (accurate or not) for how an event fits into the framework, we have created a pathway. Repetition Increases The …
The only divorce he will give me is on his terms
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call " Terri-Anne" I have been married close to 15 years with a sociopath from central Europe. We have three kids together. He promised me of giving our kids a good education. I always felt this marriage is somewhat strange with my husband making excuses all the time to leave the house. I only found out one year ago that my husband has been having sex with prostitutes. He dates them and gives them lots of money. He traveled with three of them; one to Utah, to Canada and five European countries. All this time he promised that everything will be fine, but it was just all a lie. Three years ago he had planned to …
Sue Klebold, mother of Columbine High School shooter, tells her story on ABC 20/20
On April 20, 1999, two students from Columbine High School in Jefferson County, Colorado, went to school intending to kill as many people as possible. In a 49-minute massacre, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 12 students and one teacher, shooting many of them at point-blank range. They injured 21 additional people. Three more victims were injured trying to escape the bloodbath. Columbine High School massacre, on Wikipedia.org. Worried parents heard about the shooting as it was underway, and feared for the safety of their children. One of them was Sue Klebold, mother of Dylan Klebold. But Sue's worry turned to horror when she realized that her son was one of the murderers. Sue Klebold has …
Sue Klebold, mother of Columbine High School shooter, tells her story on ABC 20/20Read More
If I Explain it Right, He’ll Care
Chapter 7 If I Explain It Right, He'll Care In most of our daily arguments with people we love, both sides are right. It can be mind boggling to look across the table at your partner and realize that they feel just as certain in their position as you do in yours. Some of us withdraw at the point where two "right" sides meet because we hate conflict. Some of us love that spot and try to live as much of life as possible in the state of an exciting debate. Some of us always feel we're even more right than the other and are compelled to explain why, whether anyone else wants to hear it or not. But regardless of our natural tendencies, the bottom line is this: our ability to work through daily …