Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call " Terri-Anne" I have been married close to 15 years with a sociopath from central Europe. We have three kids together. He promised me of giving our kids a good education. I always felt this marriage is somewhat strange with my husband making excuses all the time to leave the house. I only found out one year ago that my husband has been having sex with prostitutes. He dates them and gives them lots of money. He traveled with three of them; one to Utah, to Canada and five European countries. All this time he promised that everything will be fine, but it was just all a lie. Three years ago he had planned to …
Sue Klebold, mother of Columbine High School shooter, tells her story on ABC 20/20
On April 20, 1999, two students from Columbine High School in Jefferson County, Colorado, went to school intending to kill as many people as possible. In a 49-minute massacre, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 12 students and one teacher, shooting many of them at point-blank range. They injured 21 additional people. Three more victims were injured trying to escape the bloodbath. Columbine High School massacre, on Wikipedia.org. Worried parents heard about the shooting as it was underway, and feared for the safety of their children. One of them was Sue Klebold, mother of Dylan Klebold. But Sue's worry turned to horror when she realized that her son was one of the murderers. Sue Klebold has …
Sue Klebold, mother of Columbine High School shooter, tells her story on ABC 20/20Read More
If I Explain it Right, He’ll Care
Chapter 7 If I Explain It Right, He'll Care In most of our daily arguments with people we love, both sides are right. It can be mind boggling to look across the table at your partner and realize that they feel just as certain in their position as you do in yours. Some of us withdraw at the point where two "right" sides meet because we hate conflict. Some of us love that spot and try to live as much of life as possible in the state of an exciting debate. Some of us always feel we're even more right than the other and are compelled to explain why, whether anyone else wants to hear it or not. But regardless of our natural tendencies, the bottom line is this: our ability to work through daily …
Little Red Riding Hood: A Sociopath’s Fairy Tale
If sociopaths are so common and cause so much damage, why aren't more of us forewarned? Being victimized by a sociopath doesn't just happen to a few, rare foolhardy people, it happens to lots of people—lots of everyday people who play by the rules. I know that blaming victims of sociopaths for the harm inflicted on them or simply ignoring them is a defense mechanism for others who want to feel that they could never be victimized. Those abused must have made a stupid decision, chosen to be blind, unconsciously wanted it to happen, played a significant role in their unraveling, and so it goes. Of course, in most cases this isn't true, but it's comforting and self-protecting for nonvictims to …
He asked me what was wrong, and when I told him he became enraged
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Myra." After 2 failed marriages and one long term relationship that failed, I thought I found Prince Charming, even with the baggage that came attached. We all have it right? The key is to find someone that accepts and loves you regardless and will help you unpack that baggage. Long story short, I was hit with the realization that my partner was a narcissist on December 9, 2015, after getting into a severe argument with him over how I was feeling regarding the relationship. He asked me sweetly to tell him what was wrong, what was bothering me. Big mistake. As soon as I opened up, he became enraged and …
He asked me what was wrong, and when I told him he became enragedRead More
Been to counseling because of abuse? Fill out the Therapy Satisfaction Survey – closing soon!
If you sought professional counseling because of an involvement with someone who may be disordered, Lovefraud wants to know about your experience. Working with Dr. Liane Leedom and the University of Bridgeport, we are gathering data for scientific research about the therapeutic experience of those who sought therapy in the context of an abusive relationship. The survey is completely anonymous no personal information is collected at all. What did you experience? Did the therapist understand what you were talking about? Did he or she help you realize what you were dealing with? Or was the counselor completely clueless about personality disorders? Did the person make you feel worse instead of …
Candy hearts you’d receive from a sociopath
Living in Secret with the Sociopath
Are Things Really What We Think They Are? Things aren't always what they seem, that's for sure. And sometimes things aren't always what they seem when they are right in your face. People can't really be persuaded, even if something is right in their face. For whatever their reasons are, people have to come to their own conclusions about things. And most of the time it's difficult for family and friends to watch someone they love continue in a path that is harmful to them. Living In Secret Those of us who fall into the victim category, well, we live in secret. We live in secret about what is really going on for a lot of reasons. We are in denial of our own circumstances even though we know …
Is It Really My Fault? A Victim Fights Back Against Victim-Blame
Chapter Six I Wouldn't Let That Happen It's your fault for letting yourself get hurt. Just reading that sentence probably makes you agitated. But people say that about each other all the time. We blame victims for letting themselves get hurt. Now maybe you want to say, “NO I DON'T.” It's offensive, right? We all want to be the kind of person who shows up with band-aids and soup and enough time to really listen and care about what happened. That's because we're decent people, and we do care. But think for a moment about how we respond differently to the kind of hurt that takes a band-aid and that we can see maybe happening to us and the kind of hurt that we never, ever want to touch our liv …
Is It Really My Fault? A Victim Fights Back Against Victim-BlameRead More
Warning: Sociopath Ahead!
A friend of mine feared her daughter was involved with a sociopath who was pressuring her to have children with him. Knowing I'd had my life derailed by my own husband (now ex-husband), who I now believe is a sociopath, my friend asked me to tell her daughter some of my story. As one never knows if a seed of information will later blossom into insight, I wrote her daughter a letter. The entry below is based on that letter. Wonderful Qualities Become Profound Vulnerabilities I believe my ex-husband and the father of my children has a personality disorder—narcissistic personality disorder—some refer to such individuals as sociopaths or psychopaths. Such people are more common that most of us e …