Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Caitlyn." I was being lied to for about 6 months by the guy I had been dating. He was very charming, great sense of humor, and seemed to be very caring and genuine. Always told me I was beautiful and after about a month or so he loves me and is in love with me! Red flag number one! Why did he say those words that soon!!? I chose to ignore it because he seemed different and the chemistry was great. He also said things to make me think we were soul mates and we were going to have a future. Away a lot He is an otr trucker so he's gone a lot. We've gone out of town a few times, dated, etc. but I started to feel …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He painted a future, telling me how we were going to make this work
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Gabriela." She lives outside of the United States. My heart is aching because of what happened to me. I met a guy, I don´t know if he´s a sociopath, but he betrayed me. I met him once in at the pool area in a casino hotel in the U.S. I was traveling there with some family, I´m from another country. We had this great chemistry since that day that we met. We spoke for hours, invited me to go out but I couldn't. Then I came back to my country but kept that in love feeling that I had never felt before. I couldn´t even understand it because we only saw each other for those few hours, but still I searched him on fa …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He painted a future, telling me how we were going to make this workRead More
Sociopath Math
"It feels like I have a target on me," said a woman who had repeatedly caught the eye of sociopathic men. "You do," I replied. “So do I. So do lots of us.” Believe Who They Are When They Show You The First Time Why are empathetic people especially likely to get trapped in long-term relationships with sociopaths? We stay in these relationships too long, in part, because we discount and misattribute malicious, selfish, destructive behavior. We give people the benefit of the doubt. We have to stop doing this! Or at least, we need to become far more selective about when we do it and with whom we do it. We need to take Maya Angelou's words to heart — “When someone shows you who they are believe …
Traits that make women attractive to psychopaths
Many people think that women who've been snared by a psychopathic con artist are weak, gullible and lacking in self-esteem. Well, many people are wrong. In a recent article for SheKnows.com, author Kiri Blakeley lists seven traits that make women vulnerable to psychopaths. They're not what you may think. Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com, was quoted in the article. 7 traits psychopaths are attracted to, on SheKnows.com. …
Married To A Sociopath — How It All Began
My Story Since ending what turned into a toxic marriage, suffering through a divorce from hell, and enduring severe post-divorce emotional, legal, and financial aftershocks, I have educated myself about sociopaths. It is clear to me now that my ex-husband and the father of my children is a sociopath. By sharing my story and painfully gained insights in my book Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned, and on the lovefraud.com website, I hope to help others identify some of the markers that indicate someone in their life might be a sociopath as well as to recognize and offset the qualities in oneself—as in all of us—that encourage us to give t …
He’s a sociopath – he’s been lying to me since the day I met him
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Arlene." Five months ago I found myself in one of the worst situations of my life. I found out that my boyfriend, the love of my life, the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and grow old with, the man I thought I knew better than he knew himself, of 8 years ... was a total stranger and never existed. This is my story. I started dating a man 11 years older than me when I was 24 years old; I am now 33. We supposedly, in my mind, fell in love very quickly. Three months in, he took me shopping for a wedding ring, and two weeks later he told me that he had been making payments on the one that I loved, …
He’s a sociopath – he’s been lying to me since the day I met himRead More
BOOK REVIEW: Husband, Liar, Sociopath
Many people equate the term "psychopath" with "criminal," especially "serial killer." Although it's true that many serial killers are likely either deranged or psychopathic, it is also true that most psychopaths never kill anyone. In fact, there is an entire group of university researchers, led by Scott Lilienfeld, professor of psychology at Emory University, are investigating the "successful psychopath." Scientists disagree on how to define this creature. Some consider any psychopath who stays out of jail to be successful. Others look at career or monetary success. Read: Is the 'successful psychopath' a myth or reality? on PsyPost.org. Married to a successful psychopath Even if a psychopath …
How to work with your brain to so you can feel better
Dealing with sociopaths and the havoc they create crushes your sense of wellbeing, mood, self-esteem, confidence and happiness. In short, sociopaths make you miserable. Sometimes all you want is to feel better. Eric Barker wrote an article on BusinessInsider.com about how to feel happier. He summarized the work of multiple neuroscientists to come up with four steps you can take that will improve your outlook. They are: Ask "What am I grateful for?" Label negative emotions Make a decision Touch someone These aren't just "feel good" platitudes the suggestions are based on what affects your brain. Take these steps and you just might start to feel better. And that will enable you to deal with …
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Q&A with Jaqueline Kraft Bruno, Intuitive Life Coach and Reiki Master
Lovefraud is pleased to introduce the newest member of the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide, Jacqueline Kraft Bruno. Jacqueline is an Intuitive Life Coach, Reiki Master and survivor of narcissistic abuse. What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? Professionally, my experience includes working in substance abuse treatment. As a counselor, I worked with addicts and their families of all ages. I have worked in out patient and in-patient programs and as an Interventionist in private practice. Many of my co-workers were aware of the disordered people in their families prior to beginning their careers. I was a …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Is he blind to the fact that he exploits and manipulates?
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Clara." My ex friend, after lying, abusing, manipulating everyone has now found himself in a whirlwind of trouble. Owes everyone in town, credit card issues, issues with every law agency known to man, IRS, trouble with his two previous ex wives, etc. Is now going around saying to everyone what goes around comes around, everyone is out to get him, he can't win or get ahead, no one has any sympathy or empathy for him. He "tries" to be a decent caring guy. Except he fails to mention he pathologically lied to everyone, stole money from people, was sleeping with other guys' wives, carrying on with single women …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Is he blind to the fact that he exploits and manipulates?Read More