[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/ZTksPl2jnfk"]Last Wednesday, Dec. 2, in San Bernardino, California, 14 people were killed and 21 wounded when two terrorists, Tashfeen Malik and Syed Rizwan Farook, shot up a holiday party. Yes, I said they were terrorists, although it took American officials several days to come to the conclusion that two Muslims with roots in the Middle East, wearing tactical clothing and killing innocent people with assault rifles, were, in fact, terrorists. Even after the FBI stated it was treating the bloodbath as an "act of terrorism," U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch "urged the public not to jump to conclusions about the motive for the attack or the couple's ties …
Sociopaths–How They Lie and Why We Fall For It: Part 2
Sociopaths have many tools in their deceptive toolkit. Last week, in Part 1, I explored three techniques "Paul," my husband of about 20 years who I now believe is a sociopath, used the day after our honeymoon. (This is taken from my book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned , available via Amazon.com). The three techniques were: 1) framing the conversation to blind me to what was in clear view, 2) creating cognitive dissonance that I would likely resolve in his favor, 3) deceiving without uttering a single word that was untrue. A barrage of other deceptive techniques, likely common to other liars and sociopaths, followed. "Our Hon …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I talked about my real feelings, and she replied ‘Mission accomplished’
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a man whom we'll call "Miran." It is very shocking to me to come to know that these people do exist in Life. I always lived in a world with good people around me, and never faced any emotional traumas in my life (I am 34 BTW). I met this girl, she is 22, cute, intelligent, amazing smile, not over pretty but something charming in her I could not understand. We started chatting and texting for a period of 4 months (on and off) and she always made me feel confused, even though we met more than once (not as dates) and we exchanged kisses more than once (she initiated). The whole scenario kept me confused, and I always felt reluctant to …
How can a run-in with a sociopath be a spiritual journey?
This post refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. My first book is entitled, Love Fraud how marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. I imagine that for many of you, your reaction to this title is, "Huh?" God is good, right? The Universe is supposed to support us, right? So how can there possibly be anything spiritual about having your life trampled by a sociopath? Believe me, as I was in the midst of the struggle, I asked those questions. Except in my pleadings with my Higher Power, I wasn't so polite. As you can see from my wedding video, I was well and truly duped into marrying James Montgomery. He presented …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The sociopath got my brain twisted right away
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "freebird." Names have been changed. My story started July 24th. I had just joined plentyoffish.com, very ambivalently, as I was looking to hopefully meet someone worthy of my time. I received a message from "Karl." He was soooo hot, five years younger than me, just moved here from New York. I've always had a thing for the northerners. I found myself excited to get his messages, and the only reason I'd get on it at one point was just to talk to him. We switched numbers and talked a little before we met. He told me that he moved here to start a company with the goals of it merging with his prior company, and that …
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Sociopaths–How They Lie and Why We Fall For It: Part 1
Sociopaths dazzle and distract with brilliant linguistic gymnastics to obscure their lies. In my book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned (available via Amazon.com), I examine several conversations to reveal specific techniques "Paul" (my husband of about 20 years who I now believe is a sociopath), used to obscure the truth. These techniques are likely common to other liars and sociopaths as well. "Our Honeymoon Isn't Over Until I Say It's Over!” The night we'd returned from our honeymoon, I needed to make a business-related call. Paul was furious with me and snapped, "Our honeymoon isn't over until I say it's over!” It was so out o …
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‘Hitting Home with Sarah Ferguson,’ a two-part documentary on domestic violence in Australia, airs Nov. 24 and 25
Isabella Cullen's husband, Ben, hit her in the face as he held their child in his arms. Wendy fled her ex-partner with her children. They had only the clothes they were wearing. "Rachel's" injuries are documented by a doctor who runs a forensic domestic violence service. These are some of the stories included in "Hitting Home with Sarah Ferguson," a documentary about the "epidemic" of domestic violence in Australia. It airs Tuesday, Nov. 24, and Wednesday, Nov. 25, on ABC in Australia. As the women tell their stories, they describe the same behaviors we discuss here on Lovefraud every day. The stories are chilling. Woman whose husband punched her until she was bleeding in the face as he held …
10 rules for keeping psychopaths and Cluster Bs out of your life
Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader "Jay Anthony" posted the following as a comment on November 10. It is reproduced as an article so that readers who may have missed it can benefit from Jay Anthony's insight. Highly sensitive individuals are certainly going to suffer from shock, among other deep emotional symptoms, after dealing with a psychopath. I was raised in a highly dysfunctional Italian family so the ability to rebound has helped tremendously in adult life. My childhood was a sink or swim situation of whose lessons I've carried into adulthood. This has made it much easier to overcome the experiences I've personally had with psychopaths/sociopaths (and there has been more than …
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Profiler offers $25,000 reward for killer of four prostitutes, and describes how the murderer thinks
Nine years ago today, on Nov. 20, 2006, the bodies of four women were found in a drainage ditch outside of Atlantic City, New Jersey. Nobody was ever arrested in the case. Now, a criminal profiler from New Jersey, John Kelly of S.T.A.L.K. Inc, is offering a $25,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the killer. The profile Kelly and his team developed is chilling. It reads, in part: "He has an extreme foot fetish and has a collection of women's shoes and the shoes of his victims ”¦ He is nonsocial and likes to keep to himself. he is narcissistic (everything revolves around him), and he is also very concerned with making himself look good in all aspects." Donna An …
When You “Lose Yourself” Due To A Sociopath, Recovery Is Hard–Really Hard
If I hear one more reporter or talk show host ask a victim of partner abuse, “Why did you stay?” and not really listen to the answer or not try to understand the psychology of how emotional, psychological, financial, and/or physical abuse can rewire your brain and murder your soul, I will scream. I want to scream because I don't think the interviewer is really looking for an answer. We Are Strong, They Were Weak Instead, it's as if the questioner is seeking to label the victim as “weak” and “not like us.” This creates a sense that the victim is different, and that perceived difference creates the comforting illusion that it could never happen to us or someone like us. After all: We are stro …
When You “Lose Yourself” Due To A Sociopath, Recovery Is Hard–Really HardRead More