How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Zora, Another Girlfriend-Sociopaths and Sex Addiction

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Women Turnover I could never make sense of the turn over of women.  I would think to myself, there is no way that he is actually sleeping with these women, maybe flirting.  With the speed of turn over that he would have with these women, in addition to the fact that there were more than several going on at once, I could not fathom.  Unfortunately it is possible, and it happens all the time.  It's called sex addiction. As all of this was going on; my mind felt like it was on fire.  I would try to think and rationalize and make sense of what was happening, but I could not.  For me I hadn't really heard of sex addiction, nor had made any connections to the spath about it at that point.  It sure …

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Japanese judge calls adultery a ‘business arrangement’ that doesn’t harm a marriage

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So the Japanese CEO of a company has a sexual relationship with the owner of a Tokyo hostess club. His wife sues for damages, claiming that he committed adultery. The judge rules that it was not an extramarital affair, because, according to The Guardian, "his relationship was a purely commercial arrangement that had not harmed their marriage." Japan's legal sector was shocked by the ruling. Japanese court endorses adultery for business purposes, experts say, on TheGuardian.com.   …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I never hit her, but spent 10 weeks in jail

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  Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Timothy.” It happened on May 5th. My girlfriend of almost 12 years and I had been drinking, we argued, she called the cops, and said I hit her. She got a restraining order. She cut off my mother, and our mutual friends. I don't remember hitting her. In fact, I have never hit her. The police didn't care, though. The accusation was enough to jail me for ten weeks. I'm still waiting on the trial. The court released me under pretrial probation just a week and a half ago. While I was incarcerated, she, her friends, and her new boyfriend (that was quick!) emptied my bank account of over 7 grand, took my cam …

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A “psychopath gene”?

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Psychopathy is highly genetic people can be born with a predisposition for the disorder to develop. Scientists have identified a gene that's linked to increased risk of violent or aggressive behavior. It's the MAOA gene also known as the "warrior gene." This doesn't mean that this gene causes psychopathy the disorder develops due to a complex interaction of heredity and life experiences. But this may be a piece in understanding the psychopathy puzzle. A single gene has been linked with being a psychopath and it's very controversial, on Finance.Yahoo.com. …

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My sociopathic husband as the gross older guy

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I Need Help, No Really About a year after I had my daughter, I finally had to find someone to help me with all my data entry and paper shuffle to keep up with the work load for the business the spath and I ran, but mostly I ran.  I still had my office out of my home to try and save on overhead, but also so I could work when my baby was sleeping.  After making an extension on the office, I had a separate entrance created to the office off of the house so I could have employees enter the office without entering the house. I finally ended up hiring a younger girl, 18, that was in college.  It worked out well because she only needed part time and that's all I had in the budget for the moment.  I …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Abused by mother, father and stepfather

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call “Margo.” My abusers were my mother and father. It began when I was about fifteen. My mother and father never really got on, would hardly speak to each other. Father went to work, came home and stared at the television all of the time. The only interest he had was making his own beer and wine, he was often drunk. He had no friends and lost his temper often. He never spoke to my sister or myself as if we were humans. He would either ignore us or tell us off. When I was fifteen he found out my mother was seeing another man on the side. She had not been seeing him long and he meant nothing to her. I think she was …

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Why you weren’t thinking clearly when you fell for the sociopath

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Romantic love really does wreak havoc on your brain chemistry. In fact, love has pretty much the same effect on your brain as cocaine. Berit Brogaard has written a book called On Romantic Love: Simple Truths about a Complex Emotion. Brogaard writes: When you fall in love with someone, norepinephrine fills you with raucous energy, serotonin boosts your self-confidence, and dopamine generates a feeling of pleasure. New love is a kind of love addiction but not yet a kind of pathological love addiction. In falling in love, however, the brain is on crack—a dangerous state of mind. An excerpt from the book was published on Salon.com. It explains, in detail, how parts of the brain are affected by t …

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Q&A with Tiffany Kettermann, an expert in narcissistic abuse

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What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? I am a counselor in Portland, Oregon with both personal and professional experience in healing from personality disordered and exploitative relationships. Having had my own experience with toxic relationships and healing, I am able to provide empathy, support and insight for survivors in ways that many therapists cannot. I have worked with domestic violence survivors and on community crisis teams to help survivors of trauma and abuse, and I train other professionals in understanding and supporting survivor experiences. I currently offer a women's open support g …

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My father the sociopath: ‘I should just kill you’

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call “Judith-Ann.” Many of us grow up in homes of loud abuses. As children, constant new realities wail on our fledgling emotions, all too often beating them into submission. Some of us give up. Our sensitive natures can't bear the hate of our own creators and we crash into ourselves in a thousand ways, catching fire until we burn out like stars, until there is nothing of ourselves but a black hole of self-hatred. Others of us continue to rail against the injustices committed against us. The Unwanted, we bash our brains out against the bars of an invisible cage from which we honestly believe we can never be freed. …

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Drugs, Santeria and Girlfriend Change – Sociopath Stories

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Drug Past One of the many shockers of being with a sociopath is their ability to coerce you into their criminal activity.  When I was dating the spath, at first, he seemed so innocent and shy.  As time went on he began to leak to me his stories.  So he would lock me in with his intrigue, then feed me a portion of his past.  The first shocker story came from his participation in the drug business in the country he grew up in. Not until after I was married, did I find out that was one of the main reasons he came to the United States; he was running from the authorities.  There was a time his family members had to hide him in a basement for long periods of time to escape going to pris …

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