How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Pathological Liars are Sociopaths, Sociopaths are Pathological Liars

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Lies and Cheats I think to myself in retrospect of all the occurrences where the SP was telling a COMPLETE lie.  Of course, at the time, I knew something wasn't right, but I wanted him to make it right.  I wanted him to prove to me what he was really saying was true, which he never did.  For a very long time I did not want to believe he was cheating...that much.  I couldn't fathom it.  But he was. Surprise Visit I went to teach dance every Thursday evening and he came home from our office early so I could beat the traffic.  9 times out of 10 he was late, so I eventually had to tell him the schedule at work had changed to earlier, so when he was late, I would still be on time. One day I decide …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I lost my marriage, my children, my job and my home

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who calls herself “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.” My story began in high school where we started dating. We were both at the end of our junior year and began dating as summer was beginning. It started off fantastic; I mean that's why I stayed to get back those first few weeks of our relationship. Then the jealously started, the manipulations, the isolation: it was too much for me to take and begin my college years. So I told him we were done; of course this was after he "tried to commit suicide" in front of me by taking a handful of aspirin; he pinned me down in my car in the dorm parking lot and I screamed to the point that someone ca …

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History buff believes Philadelphia serial killer may have been Jack the Ripper

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H. H. Holmes killed at least 27 people and possibly many more before he was hanged in a Philadelphia prison in 1896, according to a story in the Philadelphia Inquirer. Before coming to Philadelphia, Holmes built a hotel in Chicago now known as "The Murder Castle." It was equipped with secret tunnels and staircases, gas chambers and more devices for torture and death. Mark Potts, a history buff from Berks County, Pennsylvania, speculates that Holmes may have also been "Jack the Ripper," who murdered five prostitutes in London in 1888. Was Phila. killer Jack the Ripper? on Philly.com.   …

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Pets and recovery from sociopaths

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For the first time in 12 years, we've had a dog in the house. Terry and I have been watching our nephew's dog while he and his parents are on vacation. The dog, Cade, is a frisky 15-month-old mix. I don't know what breeds are in the mix, but Cade looks a lot like Beau, the dog I had while married to the sociopath and the dog who kept me company as I recovered from my ex-husband's destruction. I've been having flashbacks. Cade follows me around the house the way Beau did. He curls up in the same spots on the carpet that Beau liked. And he gets in the same kind of trouble that Beau did when he was young. I'm loving every minute of it (okay, I could do with a little less chewing). Cade …

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How to protect yourself online

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The Internet is now an integral part of our lives, so it's important to know how to protect ourselves online. The U.S.government has created a great website, OnGuardOnline.gov, with all kinds of information on exactly how to do that. Lovefraud strongly recommends that you take a look at it watch the videos and read some articles with great tips for staying safe. Here are a few good ones: Common online scams Computer security Using IP cameras safely Resource provided by a Lovefraud reader       …

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Maintaining No Contact with a Sociopath

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Boundaries?  I Don't Know What Those Are It's amazing how even after years and months go by of you making it perfectly clear what kind of contact you want with the sociopath, they don't reciprocate your boundaries.  I think it's just mind boggling over and over again in my mind that this concept of boundaries is so foreign to them, and they have no means, let alone intentions, of adhering to them. I mean normal people who find out other people don't want them to contact them anymore, just...stop.  But the sociopath does the exact opposite.  They continue to push buttons, push boundaries, push limits.  There is a constant alertness on the part of the person that set up the boundaries against t …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The ride on the sociocrazytrain was painful, but I don’t regret it

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call Roseann. I just wanted to thank you for developing the Lovefraud site, sharing your experience and writing your books. I have read both. The books and your site have helped me tremendously, not only initially when I needed to understand what was happening, during the no contact time and even now, when he's long gone. It helps me to remember who I was back then and to see whom I am now and I'm pleased with my progress and the choices I made. Cutting contact All in all, I spent the better part of 10 years dealing with my on and off relationship/friendship with my spath and THE best thing I did was cut …

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Machiavellian brains light up with the opportunity to exploit others

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It's called the Dark Triad narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism. You definitely want to avoid people who have these traits and personality disorders. Machiavellianism is a term used to describe those who manipulate and deceive to get their way. A recent study shows that these traits are hardwired into the brains of people who act this way. The study was conducted by researchers at the University of Pecs in Hungary. They tested the research subjects for Machiavellianism, and divided them into "high Mach" and "low Mach" groups. Then they used fMRI machines to observe the subjects' brains while they played a "trust game." The "high Machs" showed higher neural activity when their partner …

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Suffering PTSD from a Sociopath and asking God for help

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Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. The Downward Spiral to the Bottom A year and a half after the downward spiral of a 10 year relationship came to the ground, I started noticing new behaviors of mine surface.  New thoughts, new spikes in anger, outward and physical expressions of fear, anxiety, being paranoid, scared. I'm not sure why in my case it took longer to surface.  It could be because I was dealing internally with so many other facets of breaking free like the divorce, custody battles, financial wars and deep betrayal and confusion over the last year. Episodes I started to have these "episodes" t …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Breaking free of the controlling, sociopathic girlfriend

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who posts as “seekeroflight.” I feel this overwhelming urge to reach out to your website, and I am not quite sure exactly why. I'm working my way through reading pretty much your whole website, or at least the articles which strike my eye as I go through it. It is one of very few things in my life right now that helps me to feel a little less alone. I told my life partner (of almost 7 1/2 years) that I was done with the relationship in January of this year. I gave her pretty much no warning just sat down one evening and told her I thought we should break up. She claims she saw it coming, but I think that's a lie. Judging by ho …

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