How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Research shows smart, psychopathic business managers may be able to conceal their disorder

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When Carolyn Bates was an undergraduate attending the University of Hudddersfield in England, her final-year project for her psychology degree turned out to be groundbreaking research into the links between psychopathy and intelligence. According to Science Daily, Bates said that she was intrigued by research that showed while one percent of the population were categorized as psychopaths, the figure rose to three percent in the case of business managers. “I thought that intelligence could be an explanation for this, and it could be a problem if there are increased numbers of psychopaths at a high level in business,” she said. After administering a number of tests to 50 participants, Bate …

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The Decision’s In on Oscar Pistorius

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Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of “Carnal Abuse by Deceit How a Predator's Lies Became Rape.” By Joyce M. Short  I watched the final decision on the cases against Oscar Pistorius at the ungodly hour of 3:30 this morning. The trial took place in South Africa, so my head bobbed as I struggled to remain conscious enough to deal with the time zone difference between Cape Town and New York City, where I live. To me, this case's importance was just too relevant to miss! The Judge, Thokozile Matilda Masipa, had already decided to find Pistorius not guilty of the two most serious murder offenses he was charged with. There is no jury trial for murder in South Africa. It's all up to …

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He does not know how to tell the truth — he lies just to lie

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name of "Lauren2014." I opened my home, soul and heart to someone who had a ”past.” He was able to pull at my heartstrings and tell me horrific stories of his childhood and terrible accounts of his upbringing so that I would feel sorry for him. I was willing to overlook his “past” and the bad decisions he made as an adult because I felt it was attributed to his childhood. (Most of which are lies.) I thought every word he told me was the truth. I would later find out he does not know how to tell the truth. He lies just to lie. There were so many red flags in the beginning and I still ignored them. …

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He has no remorse for the complete fraud he was to me and our children

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who goes by the name of  "Beverly2014." I have told this story so many times and feel like no matter how much I discuss it I could never tell it all because there are so many details and incidents that occurred that it would be exhausting and somewhat impossible. I met my Sociopath about two years after my divorce from my first marriage which was abusive in its own way. My Socio preyed on my vulnerability and used it against me. When we met online he was instantly every dream I had ever dreamed of -- the "perfect" man. Looking back on everything it is so frustrating the level of deceit and energy he put into fo …

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“It’s done. I’ve killed them.”

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On Easter Sunday, 2014, 36-year-old Charles Amon Mihayo, of Melbourne, Australia, went to the home of his estranged partner's parents, where he had made arrangements to see his two daughters, Indianna, three, and Savannah, four years old. He dressed the girls in pretty ballerina dresses that he had bought earlier that day, and had them do a dance in the back yard for their mother and grand parents. Then he brought the girls inside, locked the doors, video recorded them dancing again, and then smothered them to death while their mother and grandparents were locked out. When police arrived Mihayo told them. “It's done.I've killed them.” Charles Amon Mihayo watched his daughters dance befo …

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Study shows family dinners are good for teens’ mental health

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A recent study published in the JAMA Pediatrics journal discovered that among teenagers, online bullying (or cyber bullying) is now a bigger problem than face-to-face harassment. More than 20,000 adolescents were measured for their exposure to bullying. Those who had high exposure to cyber bullying also had higher incidents of emotional, behavioral and substance-use problems. According to the study, regular family dinners are good for teenagers' mental health, helping to tackle the problem of cyber bullying. The study's lead author, Frank Elgar, a professor in the Department of Psychiatry at McGill University's Faculty of Medicine in Canada, concluded that regular family meal times …

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I was bowled over; I really thought the guy was in love with me

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Mary2014". I first met J when he came to fit a new door. I had recently moved house and was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of work to be done. He was extremely polite and well mannered and appeared to be attentive to my specific needs. He visited regularly bringing catalogues to choose doors, glass, etc., and seemed very keen to make sure that I was happy with the work he did. Although I did feel quite vulnerable having a strange man in the house he soon managed to put me at ease to the extent where I gave him a key so he could come into the house to work when I wasn't there. I …

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My sociopathic boyfriend went from idealizing me to neglecting me

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Editor's Note: This SPATH TALE was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Kathleen Jones." I dated a sociopath for two years before I found out what he was. We met on an online dating site. He mirrored my shyness and interests. I was smitten with him right away. He was not pushy, but patient, and soon we were a couple. After three months of bliss, he would start arguments with me over nothing, but would manipulate me by crying and lying so that I always thought I was in the wrong. It was a long distance relationship, so we saw each other on the weekends. He went from idealizing me, to neglecting me. When I would bring up how I felt, he would say he felt pressured …

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My narcissistic father made it no secret that he preferred my siblings over me

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by Lovefraud reader “Isis2014” My father displays behaviors that are consistent with narcissistic personality disorder. He was emotionally abusive and neglectful to my mother, my siblings and me. He and my mother were married for 28 years. Months before their 28th anniversary, my mother discovered that my father had a 25 year old daughter. She is three weeks younger than my parent's second child. He hid his daughter's existence for 25 years. No one knew about her, not even his own parents. My father exploits people, especially ones who are shy and quiet. He has exploited all of his children and continues to exploit my brother to this day …

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If Psychopaths Were Identified

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If psychopaths were actively identified across institutions, we would more consistently know exactly who we're dealing with. Their stats on getting away with murder would go (way) down. They would be less likely to win full custody in divorce. There would be more public awareness around who's running certain companies. And our public and professional belief that interactional assessments and background checks tell us all we need to know about a person would be turned on its head to the benefit of all involved. If psychopaths were identified consistently and accurately by all mental health professionals (which would require major change in nearly every clinical training …

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