Editor's note: This story was written by a reader whom we'll call "Carlotta." My story began rather sad. I met the P when I was almost 15. I am 22 now and had dated this man for seven years in a secret relationship that no one knew about. At that time (seven years ago), he was married for a year and was a pastor of a church. He began using his authority to get close to me and hang out with him more and one day approached me and told me that he is attracted to me and loves me, also mentioning that he feels so loved by me and no one else. He said his wife had cheated on him with someone else and he receives no love from her whatever and really loves me. I was confused at the time but …
My ‘knight in shining armor’ turned out to be a sociopath
Editor's note: The following was written by "Cajungirl." I found my "knight in shining armor" as a single mom of a six-month-old baby. My boyfriend was too good to be true to myself and my son. I fell in love quickly and soon life was easier and we settled into home life. Three years later I am pregnant with my second child and decided to marry the man I loved. He traveled 4-5 days a week so we decided I would be the at-home caregiver. My relationship changed abruptly when I began to feel isolated and out of touch. I had to fight for a part time job to have a social outlet. I was a fine dining server and enjoyed the easy money that was mine. I had to work only when my husband was …
My ‘knight in shining armor’ turned out to be a sociopathRead More
Psychopaths as Predators: Protecting Children
A child predator is likely (but not always) a psychopath and not necessarily a stranger. Here are some points to consider when it comes to protecting your children.* Be Present People who prey on children are likely to seek out roles that give them time for intimate contact. That includes coaches, club advisors, teachers, pastors, and so on. Background checks are only useful if the individual has been caught, and let's face it, many are not. A clever psychopath who preys on children is likely to evade detection through charisma, deception, and a values-driven facade. This person may be the last you'd ever expect—the type who spends time with the family even when the children aren't a …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My adopted daughter became her biological mother
Editor's Note: Lovefraud recently received the following letter from a reader who posts as "Hannah4." Donna Andersen will offer comments at the end of her story. V and B join our family I retired from teaching two years ago. I have been married for 38 years to the same man and gave birth to two sons who are now grown. Sixteen years ago, my husband and I became guardians of two girls who are biological sisters (who attended the school where I taught). One of the sisters, V, joined our family when she was nine years old. One year later, her younger sister, B, who had just turned nine, also joined our family. At the time, I taught in a private Christian school where the philosophy was "it …
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Q&A with a psychopathy expert
Neuroscientist Kent A. Kiehl, Ph.D., has used an mobile MRI scanner to peer into the brains of about 3,000 violent offenders, including 500 psychopaths. Keihl recently came out with a new book, The Psychopath Whisperer The science of those without conscience. In an interview on Wired.com, he answers questions like: What's the difference between psychopathy and psychosis? Why do you see psychopathy as a mental disorder, not just an extreme personality type? What is different about psychopathic brains? Read the full interview: What it's like to spend 20 years listening to psychopaths for science, on Wired.com. …
BOOK REVIEW: Never Date a Dead Animal
You can certainly say one thing about Never Date a Dead Animal The Red Flags of Losers, Abusers, Cheaters and Con-Artists: It's a book with attitude. And perhaps attitude is just what any woman who is, was, or always seems to be tangled up with the wrong type of man needs. Author Nancy Nichols refers to her audience "Shoe Sistas," and exhorts all women to find their "Girlfriend Within." Who is this girlfriend? My Girlfriend Within is a styling, strutting fashionista; she loves designer labels, handbags, jewelry and shoes. She feels especially sassy in her red patent-leather high heels. My Girlfriend Within is my super-sized, uber-magnificent alter-ego. I can depend on my Girlfriend …
To get rid of a sociopath, think out of the box!
One way to convince a sociopath to leave you alone may be to make yourself unappealing. Here are suggestions from a Lovefraud reader: Why all the drama with the cops, probation, looking over shoulder, parole, etc.? The secret seems to be getting the stalker to want no further parts of you. My cousin did that by explaining an elective surgery as a bowel surgery and with a product called Liquid Ass sprayed down the back of her pants confronted him outside her house with the explanation that it's a lifelong after effect she'll have to live with. This sociopath was a daily threat and annoyance and that was the last time she ever saw him, which was August of 2011. Horrid stench along with …
Telling Your Kids the Truth About a Sociopath
Lovefraud recently received the following letter from a reader: My daughter was very recently granted custody of the two daughters that resulted from her relationship with a sociopath. An ongoing problem that I would LOVE to see you address on your website—how does one deal with the sociopath's lies and manipulation of the children? Specifically—how do you tell the kids the truth without hurting them? My daughter has to deal with a constant barrage of lies from the other parent. An example of this—telling their older child that her mother did not want to see her when the reality was that he (the sociopath father) was keeping the children from her. It's a no-win situation because either wa …
For at-risk toddlers, warm parenting is best
Experts now agree that sociopathy is at least partly genetic. That means any child born of a sociopathic parent may inherit a predisposition to the personality disorder. Sometimes this predisposition can be seen in very young children who exhibit "callous-unemotional" traits. New research shows that  toddlers who exhibit callous-unemotional behavior may be helped by warm, loving parenting. Warmer parenting makes antisocial toddlers more empathetic, on PSmag.com. This is the same advice Dr. Liane Leedom gives in her book, Just Like His Father? A guide to overcoming our child's genetic connection to antisocial behavior, addiction and ADHD. Here's the bottom line: If you realize …
New Jersey bigamist and con man William Allen Jordan pleads not guilty
By Donna Andersen MOUNT HOLLY, N.J. Her former fiancé was a lying, manipulative predator who had previously been convicted of fraud, bigamy, theft, possession of a weapon and molesting a child. But as Mischele Lewis, of Florence Township, N.J., sat behind him in court yesterday, William Allen Jordan declined a plea bargain and pleaded not guilty to charges of theft by deception and impersonating a public servant or law enforcement officer. When Jordan was arrested, he was also charged with sexual assault. However, a grand jury did not indict him on the sexual assault charge. Last February, Mischele was devastated to discover that the man who had asked for her hand in marriage was n …
New Jersey bigamist and con man William Allen Jordan pleads not guiltyRead More