By Brad Robinson, Private Investigator We are often asked by our clients who are in the midst of a messy divorce, a contentious child custody battle or a serious stalker situation, "Can he/she be intercepting my cellphone communications?" In almost all cases, the short answer is, "Yes." Cell phone “spyware” Today, it's not just those 3-letter spy agencies who may be listening in to our most private exchanges. Surprisingly sophisticated and inexpensive cellphone "spyware" can be found and purchased online by anyone. The better versions enable an unauthorized eavesdropper to remotely capture copies of your call log, address book, text messages, photos and more (bank account PIN, anyone?). I …
Government investigates Connecticut family court treatment of parents with disabilities
The Lovefraud reader Anne Stevenson reports that the US Department of Justice's Civil Rights Division has opened up an investigation into whether disabled litigants in Connecticut divorce courts are unfairly singled out and punished by judges. "The investigation is in response to parents who have complained that if the family courts even suspected a parent suffered from an impairment, judges denied them equal access to due process, took away their children, and imposed outrageous costs and fees on their families that drove them into bankruptcy and financial ruin," she writes. Connecticut courts impose outrageous costs on disabled families, from Communities Digital News. …
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Maybe victim’s statement helps as parole denied for Iowa stalker Michael Bonert
Michael Bonert, who was sentenced to 21 years in prison for stalking his former girlfriend, Vicki Kuper, had a parole interview in Iowa on March 19, 2014. Vicki attended the hearing to protest his parole. "During questioning he was asked if there are any pending criminal cases," Vicki said. "First he admitted that he has filed for post conviction relief, then he said that there is an investigation that he initiated two months ago against me for perjury. "The board was ready to grant parole today until this information came to light. After that the whole atmosphere changed. They had a very short discussion and all agreed to deny parole. They then went back to Mike and told him that …
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Letters to Lovefraud: I could no longer share my life with someone who lacked a conscience and integrity
Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by Lovefraud reader DonnaC. Other names in this letter have been changed. Below is a letter my former husband wrote shortly after I had told him that our marriage was over. He spent two weeks trying to convince me to give him time to ”˜once again' prove he could be the man he was meant to be. When we married 11 years earlier he was handsome, successful and fun. We met after my loveless first marriage. I was a happy outgoing person but he knew about my withdrawn ex husband and so it was easy to ”˜love bomb' me. I found his confidence, energy and zest for life intoxicating. There were the expected adjustments to our new married life, and …
Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW: Intensity, Charm, and Sex
By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, located in Bernardsville, New JerseyMost partners described sex with their sociopath as having been more intense than they had ever experienced. It's one of the factors that confused them into thinking they were with the right person. Sociopaths have the ability to be dynamic, charismatic, attractive, sexy, even hypnotic when they are in predatory mode, in either an extroverted or a subtle way. What fuels this charismatic energy, this sexual electricity? I have come to the conclusion that it has to do with their underlying rage. How does rage translate into charm and sexual intensity, you ask? Just under the surface rage Sociopaths build their false selves …
Was this season’s The Bachelor a very public display of love bombing by a sociopath?
Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a just released book, “Carnal Abuse by Deceit.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. By Joyce M. Short Sure, we all know it's just a reality show. And millions tune in each week to second-guess the decisions, get amused by the fireworks between the young hopefuls, and watch the romantic hook-ups as each bachelor winds his way through the candy-store of 27 beautiful, eager, women. But this season, something seemed very different. Enter, Juan Pablo Galavis, a Ve …
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Walking In My Shoes: Looking Back Over My Marriage to a Sociopath
by Quinn Pierce Not-So-Spring Cleaning Since my divorce, I have done so much "spring cleaning" of my life, that I've given myself a pass on actually cleaning anything this year. And, as the ice melts away, I will sit idly by with a cup of tea and admire the dust as it collects on my winter clothes that remain taking up precious space in my closet. The truth is, I don't have all that many clothes left, especially since I went through several cycles of gaining and losing weight during the end of my marriage and my divorce. I chose to give away anything that didn't fit as I cleaned and sorted out my home, and my life, at the time. It probably was a subconscious act on my part to di …
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1,200 phone calls, 45 criminal charges, 21-year sentence: Michael J. Bonert’s obsessive stalking of his former girlfriend, Vicki Kuper
By Donna Andersen Michael J. Bonert, 33, is from Delaware County, Iowa, but at the moment he is a resident of the North Central Correctional Facility in Rockwell City, Iowa. He was sentenced to 21 years behind bars for relentlessly stalking his former girlfriend, Vicki Kuper, also of Delaware County, Iowa. Bonert was charged with 45 offenses, including 24 violations of Vicki's no-contact order. And those were just the incidents that resulted in criminal charges there were many more. Since being incarcerated on August 30, 2010, Bonert has played the part of the model prisoner. One prison psychologist said his behavior was exemplary. Another described him as courteous and …
Tools of a Sociopath: Using the Silent Treatment to Manipulate and Control
by Quinn Pierce A Stifling Silence One of my ex-husband's favorite tools of manipulation was the silent treatment. On the surface, it seemed like a childish ploy to get what he wanted, but in reality, the silent treatment is a behavior abusers use to attack their partner's vulnerability and self-esteem in order to exert control. I can clearly see now that my ex-husband took plenty of time in the beginning of our relationship to assess how I would react to the silent treatment. It is a skill he practiced and perfected along the way, until the greatest impact was achieved. A sociopath won't risk losing the relationship, so it was a complicated game he played to keep me off-balance, b …
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BOOK REVIEW: Letters to God
Jane Pinney was married to a sociopath and adopted two children. Her husband attempted to poison her, and then accused her (of what, I'm not sure, but it was serious). The experience inspired Pinney to write a book called Letters to God. This book does not relay the chronology of events. Instead, it tells the story of Pinney's state of mind, in real time, as she tries to pull herself out of the abyss created by her disordered ex-husband. She starts the book by writing, I realized that in all my life, especially this past year, I have written thousands of letters to hundreds of people. Everyone under the sun, who I thought could help me in my quest to protect those I love and bring to …