by Quinn Pierce The other day, in one of my counseling sessions, I was recounting a story about some family members who still interact with my ex-husband, despite my requests that they respect me enough to not have any contact with him. I was no longer angry or annoyed by their behavior, I had since realized it is much easier if I lower my expectations for some people in my life and distance myself from others. But, I was curious about their inability to stop contact with my ex-husband even after knowing everything he has done to my family. The Inexplicable Bond It led me to wonder: Why is it so difficult to detach from a sociopath? It seems as though it makes no difference if …
New oxytocin study encouraging to parents of autistic children
Oxytocin, sometimes referred to as “the love hormone,” has been found to affect the parts of the brain connected to emotional bonding, trust and many biological processes. Lovefraud has previously discussed the role of oxytocin in love relationships. A new study recently published in the the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences highlights how oxytocin may be helpful for another group of people who have difficulty establishing personal bonds those with autism spectrum disorder. Parents of autistic children are encouraged by the new study and are requesting doctors prescribe it for their children. Experts say parents should wait until more is known. Oxytocin Found to Stimulate …
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Connecticut parents say court-ordered expenses bankrupt them
In an article for Washington Times Communities, Lovefraud reader Anne Stevenson writes that Connecticut parents allege they are being forced to hire court appointed vendors such as psychologists and guardians. In 2013, a group of parents complained to the Legislature that these vendors were bankrupting them through their questionable billing practices. One guardian ad litem allegedly charged $40,000, but billing records indicated she spent very little time with the child she represented. A task force established to assess Connecticut's family courts disagreed with the parents and determined that an audit of the court's books and contracts would be unnecessary. Anne invites Lovefraud …
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I believe emotional rape is a crime
Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a just released book, “Carnal Abuse by Deceit.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. By Joyce M. Short "No Contact" Is the First Step, But Not the Last! The concept of NO CONTACT enables us to distance ourselves from harm, and regain emotional balance. But it's not all we need to do. We need to come to grips with the real injury that we've endured in order to cope with our losses. Partially in an effort to cope with mine, I wrote my book, Carnal Abuse by …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I have NO family now, my sister has turned them all against me
Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Arabella." Names have been changed. I've been searching and searching for someone who understands. However, for me it's not a lover ”¦ but my older sister, who has taken great pleasure in trying to destroy me. Strangely though, I'm wondering if my mother is also touched with psychopathy. Her emotional reactions to things are very questionable. When she's been with me and my sister, mum has never raised an eyebrow at some of the REALLY awful provocations. My older brother has treated me like dirt on so many occasions. Mum sides with him no matter what he does. Mum also made a mistake of telling me …
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Recovery From A Sociopath: New Beginnings
by Quinn Pierce As with all new beginnings, the New Year always brings a sense of hope for a better tomorrow. And as this year draws to a close, I have to admit that I feel a sense of relief. This was definitely one of my more challenging and tumultuous years, and I will be happy to consider it part of my past. Recognizing Positive Experiences However, before I do, I think it's important to acknowledge my accomplishments within the struggles. Sometimes, when we are plagued by the abuse, and the inevitable drama, from the sociopath in our lives, we may have learned to cope by pushing away the memories that cause us to re-experience the hurt and sadness. But, as survivors, we need to …
Father, Dmitriy Kanarikov, throws his 3 year-old son, Kirill, off roof of Manhattan high-rise then jumps to his death
Separated parents Dmitriy and Svetlana Kanarikov had an agreed-upon visitation schedule for father Dmitriy to spend time with his 3-year-old son, Kirill. The visits seemed to go well until Dmitriy tossed his son off a high rise building and then jumped to his death as well. The couple had separated in August, when Dmitriy had turned violent toward Svetlana. Dmitriy had threatened his estranged wife, telling her “he would take the child away” and "she would ”˜shoot (herself) from grief,'” Svetlana Kanarikov revealed. Svetlana believed this was Dmitriy's "sick way" of following through on that threat. Mom of boy, 3, thrown from roof of Manhattan high-rise calls it husband's ”˜sick way' of …
Lessons from Sandy Hook: Disturbed people live among us
On Friday, the Connecticut State Police released documents related to the investigation into last year's terrible school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. We know the broad strokes of what happened on Dec. 14, 2012: Adam Lanza, age 20, shot and killed his mother, Nancy Lanza, in the home that they shared. Then he went to the nearby Sandy Hook Elementary School and killed 20 first-graders and six adults. Released were thousands of documents, photos, audio recordings and videos. I downloaded one section of the report and opened some of the documents. One that was particularly chilling was the report of Newtown Police Lieutenant Christopher Vanghele, who was …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Advice for relatives of elder abuse victims hooked by sociopaths
Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader. Many years ago my wealthy (and elderly) widower father entered into a relationship with a sociopathic woman. She is very charming and beautiful. This was marriage number four for her. Her last marriage had been completely predatory. My father's health is good, his mind is sharp but his memory is failing. The more his memory fails, the more his wife isolates him. She does this in brazen and cruel ways too numerous to write about here in this short note. She also encouraged him to drink alcohol and take potent sleeping pills. He was hospitalized several times for overdose. My father has a substantial estate and it …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: An intense relationship, until he threw me back
Editor's note: This letter was sent in by Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Renata." I know, as far as abuse stories go, this isn't a doozy. I'm sure other women and men have gone through far worse. And that is precisely why I want to share my story, because, even though this guy isn't a major abuser, he's a manipulative, conniving and voracious predator. He will believe he is using his charm and "kindness" to befriend women who are vulnerable and heartbroken, giving them something to feel good about, over and over. He will lead them down the rosy garden path, all the while knowing that he has NO intention of reciprocating a safe and loving relationship. He only uses his "victims" for …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: An intense relationship, until he threw me backRead More