How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Lovefraud Blog

Connecticut shooting: It is time for “people control”

//  by //  54 Comments

President Bush designated the 1990s as the Decade of the Brain: "to enhance public awareness of the benefits to be derived from brain research" through "appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities." Thirteen years after the decade of the brain, the public is now aware that brain function is impaired in mental illness (including psychopathy) and addiction. Research has uncovered the brain regions involved in mental illnesses (including psychopathy) and addiction and the mechanism of action of many helpful medications. [youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/zqqsxoFsFtw] Now this may still be difficult for some people to comprehend but, I say categorically that, "a 20 year old male who …

Connecticut shooting: It is time for “people control”Read More

The high price of destruction

//  by //  15 Comments

While preparing for the holiday season, my children and I like to play Christmas movies as we add our decorative touches throughout the house.  This year, I caught a portion of the television movie Snow as we worked.  Although I was not paying close attention, the premise is that Santa goes to California to rescue one of his reindeer that somehow ends up in a local zoo.  This particular reindeer, Buddy, was not expected to ever be able to fly. Of course, as the movie's climax began, I stopped arranging the garland and candles on the fireplace and sat to watch.  Naturally, I hoped that Buddy the reindeer would triumph.  As Christmas movies go, he learned to fly just in time to escape the "b …

The high price of destructionRead More

Getting the sociopath out of your head

//  by //  567 Comments

I once heard from a woman whom we'll call "Rochelle." She related her story of reconnecting with a long lost love, which turned out to be a fake love. As it is for many Lovefraud readers, the hardest part of breaking away was getting the sociopath out of her head. When Rochelle was in her 50s, through a high school reunion, she reconnected with the first boy she ever loved. Rochelle had a crush on him when she was 14. They dated for almost five years, although he always seemed to have an eye out for other girls. When they broke up, Rochelle was heartbroken, but she moved on, married, divorced, and life was reasonably good—until that first love came back into her life. He poured on the c …

Getting the sociopath out of your headRead More

Psychopathy is a disorder, not an adaptation

//  by //  52 Comments

According to Merriam Webster online a pet peeve is something that annoys or bothers a person very much. One of my pet peeves is people of all sorts who say that psychopathy is "fascinating" or worse even assert that it is "beneficial". There is nothing fascinating or beneficial about a disorder that is linked to child rape and murder of innocent victims and countless ruined lives. It also bothers me that professionals who talk about psychopathy in this way are sought after by the press. Several months ago a lovefraud reader forwarded me an article I had not seen. Nepotistic patterns of violent psychopathy: evidence for adaptation? Linda and I wrote a comment on this paper and that comment …

Psychopathy is a disorder, not an adaptationRead More

Expectations and the half-billion dollar lotto

//  by //  62 Comments

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I don't normally by lotto tickets because the odds of winning are so powerfully against winning. Yes, I know “someone eventually wins,” and “if you don't buy a ticket you don't have any chance of winning.” When the payout on the recent Powerball got so high though—a half-billion dollars—like lots of folks I decided “why not?” I bought a $3 ticket and let the computer pick the numbers for me. The odds of being attacked by a shark are 1 in 11,000. The odds of being the lotto winner are about 175 million to one. On the way home, my son and I fantasized about what we would do if we won the half-billion dollar payout. We decided we would take it in one …

Expectations and the half-billion dollar lottoRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I guess something good came out of this story

//  by //  27 Comments

Editor's note: The following essay was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Ms_Snowhite." I want to share with the readers at Lovefraud something that happened to me tonight, when I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn't fall back to sleep. You know, it was one of those moments when you suddenly wake up, your mind is clear of everything and you start thinking. So I was lying on the bed thinking about the spath again and how there would probably never be justice for the things he has done to me, and then, I had started to think about other people that had hurt me a lot by intention in the past too. You know, friends that had betrayed me, co-workers that were …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I guess something good came out of this storyRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Whole relationships documented in phones is not proof of authenticity

//  by //  82 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was written by a Lovefraud reader who uses the name "Transcendence." I had not received so much confirmation or documentation of being in a “relationship” before. The biggest problem was that he managed to rarely see me in person and he had a habit of cancelling and sometimes even “FORGETTING” dates. My first intoxicating Romantic Narcissist occurred 4 years ago and I had never experienced a suitor so sexy, seductive, intelligent, well written with poetic prose and boyishly handsome with seeming innocence. I remember waiting desperately for a return txt ”¦ or phone call ”¦ obsessively ”¦ this man could send me to heaven or throw me into the black abyss. …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Whole relationships documented in phones is not proof of authenticityRead More

BOOK REVIEW: The No Asshole Rule

//  by //  18 Comments

Here at Lovefraud, most of the conversation is about the sociopaths we've encountered in romantic relationships. But sociopaths are equal opportunity exploiters, and are often abusive in some way to almost everyone in their lives. Therefore, we can encounter sociopaths anywhere—especially in the workplace. I recently read a book that's helpful for avoiding, or surviving, abuse on the job: The No Asshole Rule Building a civilized workplace and surviving one that isn't. The book is written by Robert I. Sutton, Ph.D., a professor of management science and engineering at Stanford University. Yes, there is a mild obscenity in the title, and the A-word appears throughout the book. Still, I'd d …

BOOK REVIEW: The No Asshole RuleRead More

Religion, spirituality and sociopaths

//  by //  40 Comments

Editor's note: This article was written by the Lovefraud reader "Adelade." It refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Religious and spiritual beliefs are of extreme importance to people. More than their beliefs of themselves, people adhere to religious and spiritual doctrines because they give them a strong sense of continuity, comfort, and meaning. Teachings and rituals often fill in the gaps of what we cannot provide to ourselves or process as a result of living, dying, and the random events in Life that cause us to question, "Why did this happen?" The first thing that an invading culture or nation does is to take away or abolish the re …

Religion, spirituality and sociopathsRead More

TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: I though I hit the jackpot of love

//  by //  11 Comments

Editor's note: This story was written by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Priscilla." I met a man in Canada on a popular dating website. I thought he was the "one" for me, and he had me quite convinced of this after 3 months of emails, texts and phone calls. So convinced was I, that when he "popped the question" over the phone one night to marry him, I told him yes. This was the first guy I had ever had a long relationship with, and felt it was heaven on earth. I was in my early 20s, and had never dated before. He was my first real "boyfriend," and I thought I had hit the jackpot of love. He had me so emotionally invested over the phone, that I felt I could not be without him so …

TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: I though I hit the jackpot of loveRead More