Lovefraud Blog

Love Fraud Book Excerpt: The beginning of true love

January 21, 2023 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Yes, it is possible to find true, lasting love after the sociopath. My ex-husband, James Montgomery, proclaimed that he loved me, but he said the words only to exploit me — read highlights of the story starting here. I didn’t know if I would ever recover and find real love, but I did. In fact, this is the most important part of the story that I tell in my book, Love Fraud — the joy of finally connecting with someone whose heart is true. I’m sharing a few more excerpts of my book — read the healing journey starting here. In a Valentine’s Day special, I’m offering you an autographed copy of the original printed book for the very low price of $4.99, plus shipping. Enjoy! And be inspired! Buy n …

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‘A History of a Pedophile’s Wife’ now available on Audible

January 20, 2023 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Editor's note: "How could a mother not know?" This is the question often asked about families where incest has occurred, which the Lovefraud author, Eleanor Cowan, answered in her book, "A History of a Pedophile's Wife." Eleanor has just released her book on Audible, and she recently discussed her experiences in the American Conversation podcast. I asked Eleanor about her experience of narrating her story for the audio book. Here’s what she wrote: In 2022, a young man, a long-haul driver, told me he’d wanted to read my paperback memoir, but he only buys audiobooks now. Criss-crossing North America weekly, with no time to turn the pages of a paper book, he listens to two 11- hour narrations a …

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Coerced debt: Financial betrayal by the sociopath

January 16, 2023 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

For sociopaths, the objective of any relationship is to exert power and control over the other person. This is especially true in romantic relationships. One of the things sociopaths want to control is money, which often leaves survivors with mountains of coerced debt. I have experience with this one. My sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, manipulated me into maxing out all my credit cards, supposedly to support his sure-to-succeed business plans. By the end, he’d wiped out my savings, decimated my business, and left me with $60,000 in credit card debt. I later found out he spent a lot of my money entertaining other women. Using my credit How did James Montgomery get his hands on m …

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Love Fraud Book Excerpt – My first relationship after the sociopath

January 13, 2023 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Love Fraud is a story of triumph. Yes, my sociopathic ex-husband betrayed me — you can read a series of excerpts that relay how he did it starting here. But the most important part of my story is the healing journey. I want you to know that it is possible to pass through the devastation to a new life that is happier than you ever imagined. Over the next few weeks, I’ll share some of my journey. In a Valentine’s Day special, I’m offering you an autographed copy of the original printed book for the very low price of $4.99, plus shipping. Enjoy! And be inspired! Buy now. By Donna Andersen Seven months after I left James Montgomery, I met a new man, John. He was younger than me, enthusiastic …

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Love Fraud book excerpt: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath)

January 9, 2023 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Next month brings Valentine’s Day, when the whole world focuses on love. But for many of us who have had our hearts broken by sociopaths, Valentine’s Day may bring more pain than pleasure. I want you to know that there can be love after the sociopath, and I am living proof. My story, which I wrote in my first book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, is ultimately a story of triumph — heartbreak, then recovery, then the wonderful happy ending. I previously published excerpts describing the betrayal by my ex-husband. The first installment is below — follow the links to read all of them. Next, I'll publish excerpts of my healing journey. In a Valentine’s Day …

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Letting go of the mistake with the sociopath

January 8, 2023 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

When I finally realized that the person who promised to love me forever, James Montgomery, was a lying, manipulative cheater, I was angry with him — and just as angry with myself. Why did I believe his lies and empty promises? I knew he was taking my money; why did I stay? I beat myself up. I couldn’t let go of my mistake with the sociopath. The realization that I’d made a massive error in marrying this man was, of course, just one aspect of my emotional turmoil. I was betrayed — Montgomery cheated on me with multiple women. In fact, he had a child with another woman during our marriage. He also convinced me to finance his business plans, which were really just get-rich-quick schemes, until a …

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Who is Bryan Kohberger, accused in Idaho murders?

January 2, 2023 // by Donna Andersen// 2 Comments

Wow — a suspect has been arrested in the gruesome murders of four Idaho college students — and he has a master’s degree in criminal justice! Bryan Kohberger, 28, was pursuing a Ph.D. in criminology at Washington State University in Pullman, which is only a 15-minute drive from Moscow, Idaho, where the murders occurred. First of all, Kohberger claims he is innocent, and under U.S. law he is innocent until proven guilty. Secondly, I have no information about the case beyond what is reported in the media, which may or may not be accurate. And finally, I have not seen any references to any psychological evaluations. Still, reporters are scrambling to answer the question, “Who is Bryan Kohberg …

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19 New Year’s resolutions to help you recover from narcissistic abuse

January 1, 2023 // by Donna Andersen// 3 Comments

UPDATED FOR 2023. The New Year is always a good time for new beginnings. If your wish for 2023 is to heal from a destructive relationship with a sociopath and recover from the narcissistic abuse that you endured, here are 19 New Year's resolutions to help you. 1 . I will have No Contact with the sociopath — I will not call, text or send email, and I certainly won't meet him/her in person. 2. If the sociopath contacts me, I will not respond. 3. I will not try to get information about the sociopath from others. 4. I will not follow or stalk the sociopath on social media. 5. I will remember that anything the sociopath says could be a lie. 6. I will not try to prove myself to the sociopath …

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83-year-old serial killer proves that sociopaths don’t change

December 19, 2022 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Twice, Harvey Marcelin, 83, was convicted of murdering and dismembering girlfriends. Marcelin spent more than 50 years in prison for the gruesome crimes, and was paroled in 2019. After his release, he started identifying as a woman. Marcelin was placed at the George Daly House, a short-term housing alternative for seniors in New York City. Marcelin’s behavior frightened Monica Archer, a case worker there, and she repeatedly warned her superiors about the threats he made. Archer’s concerns were ignored, and Marcelin was moved into an individual apartment. A week later, Marcelin allegedly murdered and dismembered another woman, 68-year-old Susan Leyden. Leyden’s leg was found on a street in B …

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Sociopaths use our self-image against us

December 17, 2022 // by Donna Andersen// 4 Comments

UPDATED FOR 2022: The goal of exploiters and manipulators is to bring us under their control. Here's one of their key strategies: Sociopaths use our self-image against us. We all have a mental picture of ourselves. We may think of ourselves as smart, kind, creative, professional, competent or loving. We may also have negative views of ourselves, such as disorganized, overweight, temperamental, fearful or lazy. Generally, our overall self-image is a collection of what we consider to be our assets and liabilities. According to the Cleveland Clinic, this mental picture is learned. They write: Self-image is a product of learning. Early childhood influences, such as parents and caregivers, …

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jhmb6 on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “This article suggests that all narcissists are not simply narcissists. There always seems to be a co-occurring disorder. All evidence…”
Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “Happy Sunday Donna, and I am not surprised based on the story of your ex that he may have been…”
Donna Andersen on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “Hi Joanie — thanks for this article! My ex was a complete pack rat. I converted my basement into an…”
Donna Andersen on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “Emilie 18 posted the following comment in the Forum. Eleanor Cowen posted a beautifully said piece in the Blog about…”
Donna Andersen on More evidence that psychopaths do not ‘burn out’: “Hi Samson75 – My paper was peer-reviewed and published in the International Journal of Offender Therapy and Comparative Criminology. There’s…”