How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Donna Andersen and Dr. Liane Leedom present research at psychopathy conference

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  Dr. Liane Leedom and I spent last weekend, May 19-21, at the 4th Biennial Meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy in Montreal, Canada. Approximately 200 people were at the conference, including the biggest names in psychopathy research: Robert Hare, Paul Babiak, Paul J. Frick, Kent Kiehl, David Kosson, Joseph Newman, Christopher J. Patrick, and many, many more. Also in attendance were graduate students and researchers from all over the world—nine different countries were represented. It was an opportunity to learn about the latest research going on in the field. A total of 46 researchers made 15-minute oral presentations of their work. An additional 91 g …

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Vienna Presbyterian Church gets it right with abuse scandal

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Last week Lovefraud posted an article  about the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Philadelphia and its evasive response, or nonresponse, to claims of clergy sex abuse. It was actually written by a member of the church review board, who was as dismayed as many of the faithful. Read Criticizing bishops in the Philadelphia clergy abuse scandal. The Vienna Presbyterian Church in Vienna, Virginia, faced a similar situation when a youth director maintained inappropriate relationships with multiple teenage girls. Eric De Vries infiltrated their lives and manipulated the girls into what they thought were mutual romantic relationships. They said he drew them in as a trusted mentor, friend and …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Part 2–“You have to start acting better”

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Editor's note: This is the completion of Lovefraud's e-mail from “robxsykobabe.” The beginning was posted yesterday: Part 1—Giving him the benefit of the doubt. He contacted me April 13th, 2010. Three days before his son's 11th birthday. I didn't respond as he “dangled the carrot” with texting me simply, “I wish”¦” Yeah, it was a game. I didn't contact him because I felt sick to my stomach and severe panic after receiving it. I waited”¦and he didn't contact me again. And I responded”¦and so the story goes. We met and I was LESS than pleased. This was NOT the reunion where we embraced each other and kissed long, sultry kisses. It was the kind of meeting you'd see in a movie and expect a …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Part 1–Giving him the benefit of the doubt

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from the reader who posts as “robxsykobabe.” Read it—and watch as the sociopathic manipulation blossoms. Here is my story”¦as I've only shared bits and pieces. My ex and I met on a dating website. We met at a mutually convenient place, and upon seeing him for the first time in person, I was in awe! He was the perfect looking guy, casual, with a tall stature, a beautiful face and such charm. We went into a restaurant but didn't eat. We sat at the bar, and I ordered a drink. He did not, saying he doesn't drink anymore. That was fine with me. We engaged in conversation, and at one point, I asked him if he had ever been in prison. Why t …

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Getting over the relationship that didn’t exist

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Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader: How do I process a relationship that had so many lies in it that I don't know really with whom I was involved? I miss the person I thought I knew so much, but at the same time, he was involved with someone else, and others, since at least last June. I thought he had had one affair—but not anything to the extent that it looks like now. How do I process a relationship I never had? Was he lying the whole time acting out the "I love you's", the romantic comments, and the idea that we should be together? Is it all an act? Most of us are reading and posting on Lovefraud because we were intensely, callously, brutally deceived in …

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Criticizing bishops in the Philadelphia clergy abuse scandal

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In February, a Philadelphia grand jury indicted four priests of sex abuse and found evidence that an additional 37 had also abused. The panel that reviews sex abuse cases for the Philadelphia archdiocese was as surprised as anyone. In an article in Commonweal, a lay Catholic publication, the chairwoman of the review board criticizes the archdiocese, saying it "failed miserably at being open and transparent." The problem, writes Ana Maria Catanzaro, was the clergy's attitude of superiority. She writes: So why haven't they gotten it? In a word, clericalism. In his book Clericalism: The Death of the Priesthood, George B. Wilson, SJ, articulates “unexamined attitudes” typical of clerical cult …

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Sociopathy runs amok in murder of 15-year-old boy

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This case is so shocking that it's difficult to know where to begin. It's a mix of multiple disordered personalities and vicious actions that exploded into the incomprehensible. The trouble apparently started when 15-year-old Seath Tyler Jackson of Belleview, Florida, a town of about 4,500 people located 65 miles north of Orlando, broke up with his 15-year-old girlfriend, Amber Wright. The breakup was public, played out in real time on Facebook. Wright had apparently taken up with a new boyfriend, 18-year-old Michael Shane Bargo. Jackson and Bargo hated each other, and Bargo allegedly wanted to do something about it. Here is what happened, according to media reports that quoted police …

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RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Psychopaths, victims and therapy

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Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. Re-traumatising and PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide Everyone always writes about the positive aspects of coming out of a relationship with a psychopathic personality. You read things about how as a result of being in such a toxic relationship, it empowers you and teaches you how to recognise and spot predators. If you have never learnt how to h …

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