Even bad people can sometimes behave well. That seems a strange twist on the idea of “good people behaving badly.” But it's true. Even the skeeviest personality isn't usually spending all day long exploiting everyone who enters his path. Now this doesn't mitigate his skeeviness one wit. But it's also true that sociopaths aren't always exploiting and mistreating others, all day long. They will be taking some time off, in different contexts, from their more unseemly behaviors. And so sometimes, sociopaths can be nice, even very nice; sometimes they may extend themselves to others. Now we can question what motivates them when they are behaving well; probably, very often, their prosocial be …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I fear for my granddaughter’s life
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call “Veronica.” She fears for her granddaughter's life, and it appears that she has reason to. I'm desperate and very afraid. I hope you can help and help quickly. My daughter was married to a man, who by all accounts, appeared to be the most wonderful guy in the world. It wasn't until after she left him that she finally confided in me as to the truth of their relationship and I was horrified. I know he is definitely a sociopath. For 5 years he made her life a living hell. The only reason she stayed with him she said was because it was the only way to protect her daughter. She left him over a year ago, a …
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No shame: Disgraced sociopathic governor repackages himself
There's a little TV in the corner of my kitchen, and in the morning, as I make breakfast, I usually have it tuned to CNN. Today I was shocked to see Jim McGreevey, former governor of New Jersey, talking about his new involvement, an organization called “Faith in America.” You remember Jimbo. He was the governor who, after someone threatened to expose his alleged affair with a male staffer, decided to spill the beans himself. On August 12, 2004, with his traumatized wife at his side, McGreevey announced to the world, “I am a gay American.” I don't believe it. McGreevey isn't gay—he's a sociopath. Many sociopaths, if not most of them, are neither gay nor straight—they're sexual opport …
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Sociopaths and My Life as a World Ambassador: ‘My Mother, Myself’
By The Front Porch Talker My father was a sociopath. He was many other things too. To my mother—and the world—he was an alcoholic and a sex addict. In those days, back in the sixties and seventies, they didn't use the word, "sociopath." Things were more black-and-white: either you were a psychopath, like, say, Richard Speck, the man who killed those nurses back in the day; or, you were an average American. To the world, my father was an average American who, by all appearances, was normal. Well, except for the booze and sex”¦ My mother, on the other hand, while also an alcoholic, just viewed herself as a bundle-of-nerves. And, a victim of my father who, as I found out forty years later, …
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Donna Andersen to appear in Princeton, NJ
If you live near Princeton, New Jersey (USA), please come by Borders Bookstore this Saturday, October 30, from 1 to 3 p.m. I'll be discussing my new book Love Fraud: How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. Several Lovefraud readers were in the audience this past Friday at the Borders Bookstore in Philadelphia. We had a wide-ranging, freewheeling discussion about sociopaths, and how to heal after sociopathic manipulation. I answered a lot of questions. Borders in Princeton is located at 601 Nassau Park Boulevard. Here's a link to the store's website. …
Cyberlife and the sociopathic experience
Two recent news items about life in today's digital age caught my attention: News item #1 The evolution of dating: Match.com and Chadwick Martin Bailey Behavioral Studies uncover a fundamental shift Recent studies of more than 11,000 people revealed that one in six marriages are now between people who met through an online dating site — more than twice the number of people meeting at bars, at clubs and other social events combined Additionally, the studies show that one in five new committed relationships, including marriages, are between people who met on an online dating site. News item #2 Facbook fueling divorce, research claims Divorce lawyers claim the explosion in the p …
Moving on with life
This week the Connecticut Medical Examining Board restored me to the full practice of medicine. Due to the fact that my ex-husband Barry Lichtenthal impersonated a physician and examined female patients in a clinic that I directed, my license was restricted. I am not going to retell the full story today but I am going to comment on some things I have kept silent about. For more details of the story you can read Barry Lichtenthal: Sexual predator ruins the career of Dr. Liane Leedom. Donna Andersen is an excellent journalist and did her own investigation in order to report the story. She uncovered details even I was unaware of. I want to address the question of whether or not I was Barry's …
Cutting Ourselves Some Slack
Forgiving oneself for making bad choices is never easy, and I know there are authors and posters on LF who are true experts in the area of self-forgiveness. But let me come at this from an angle slightly different than my usual Lovefraud fare. It's often just plain hard to bust a flat-out liar and deceiver. And it's often suprisingly easy to effectively flat-out lie and deceive. Let me say this again: it's pretty easy to live a life of deception, making it no big accomplishment to deceive the brightest, most astute, most sensitive people. Lying and deceiving, and doing them well, even over long, extended periods of time, duping anyone and everyone in the process—again, my point is th …
Police seek con man Dwayne Keith Gardner
Police in Alpharetta, Georgia, have asked the public for assistance in tracking down Dwayne Keith Gardner, who has a history of conning women. Here's a report from Fox TV in Atlanta: Police say Dwayne Keith Gardner travels the southeast claiming to be an attorney for an NFL team, a former navy seal or a retired naval officer. He targets single older women by conning the women into lending him large sums of money. Gardner also steals physical items from his victims. After committing the theft, he flees the area, say police. Authorities have issued an arrest warrant for felony theft against Gardner. Gardner is believed to be in the Metro Atlanta region. Police believe there are other …
Donna Andersen’s victory is our victory too
By Thomas Donna Andersen's ”˜Love Fraud, How Marriage to a Sociopath Fulfilled My Spiritual Plan' is the third book in the last year I have read on sociopaths. Compared to the previous two it is not written by an academic, but rather by a victim of a sociopath. The book is very well written for a first book, and the fictional style of writing, coupled with the matter-of-fact narrative makes it highly readable. Many of the people who would of have bought this book in the immediate aftermath of publication would have been refugees from Planet Sociopath themselves and much of the antics and personality traits of James Montgomery will strike a powerful resonance within them in regards to their …