By The Front Porch Talker “Hurt people hurt.” (“Greenberg”) Don't expect a sociopath to steal the silverware, or anything untoward in that regard. No, they will be too busy stealing your whole life out from under you! But, as I like to say: That's no excuse for bad manners! Luckily for us all, I am writing my own as-yet unfinished etiquette book called, Mind Your Own Business: Etiquette for the Clueless! It is written in that easy-to-read style, with bullets and cute reminders and hints, just like those ”˜Dummies' books that presently insult your bookcase, along with your eight-track tapes and picture frames you got at Goodwill—the ones that still have somebody's family pictures in t …
Fake profile fools security pros
In less than a month, an attractive, somewhat flirty cybergeek named "Robin Sage" accumulated hundreds of connections through social networking sites such as Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. Her friends included people at military intelligence groups, the Department of Defense, and Global 500 companies. Robin, however, was a fake. Read The Robin Sage Experiment: Fake profile fooled military intelligence, IT security pros. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …
A cautionary tale: Rock star psychologist gets it wrong
“When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.” Abraham Maslow I have a book in my library by J. Reid Meloy, Ph.D., called The Psychopathic Mind—Origins, Dynamics, and Treatment. I struggled through about half of it, and finally gave up. Meloy is a forensic psychologist, and the book appears to be for professionals in the field—he's written 10 books and authored or co-authored 180 peer-reviewed papers. Meloy's specialties include stalking, violence, threat assessment, mass murder, serial killing and sexual homicide. When mass murders go on a rampage, the media often turn to Meloy for commentary. After the Fort Hood shootings in 2009, for example, ABC …
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Changing the presumption: Is a child really better off interacting with both parents?
Just Like His Father? Is nearly four years old now and my own son is nearly eight. At the time the book was released, scientists were still engaged in the genetics versus environment debate regarding the development of antisocial behavior. That debate is now over and every authority accepts that antisocial behavior and antisocial personality traits develop due to a gene-environment interaction. I am working on revising the book because now some specific genes have been identified. Thankfully, I have not had to cope with the toxic environment a sociopath/psychopath creates for their offspring. Just Like His Father? doesn't really grapple with that issue other than to encourage people to …
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Life support
By Ox Drover A thought struck me the other day as I was musing ”¦ many people today have at least thought about how they want things to proceed when they come toward the end of their lives. Do they want to be “kept on life support” with feeding tubes and ventilators and lying unconscious in an intensive care nursing unit? Is that kind of “life” really anything but prolonging drying? Or, is it possible that if you stayed there with mechanical life support, that you might actually wake up and heal, and go on and enjoy more time in a healthy life? Many of us have made decisions which we have placed into “Living Wills” and have appointed someone to be our decision maker if we can't make our …
Love Fraud: A guide to taking back our lives
By Kathleen Hawk, author of the After the Sociopath: How Do We Heal? series on Lovefraud. Donna Andersen is living proof that even the most successful, confident and assertive people can get emotionally entangled with a dangerous predator. Her story is a textbook case of how a professional con man can seduce his victim by offering her the dreams she has not yet achieved by herself. And then ups the ante of what she has to pay until the relationship becomes not just expensive, but destructive and toxic. But this book is not about being a victim, but about being a victor. It covers three main topics. First the awful relationship, which followed a pattern that is familiar to anyone who has …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Staying safe on Facebook
Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following article from the reader in Australia who posts as “Dani S.” I recently had the unfortunate experience of coming across another personality disorder, this time on Facebook. I love Facebook, as growing up in a small country town and moving to the city, Facebook has been a great place for me to reconnect with old school friends and to chat with them online. I have always been very careful never to add friend request unless I know the person personally, so I thought that I was safe! Wrong! I joined a group called "Dead Beat Dads." The group had over 300 members, ranging from mothers, stepfathers and children of fathers that have exp …
Is redemption possible?
Last night Larry King Live of CNN hosted a discussion about whether criminals can be rehabilitated. I think it will be re-aired this weekend so try to watch. One of the guests drew a distinction between "learned" criminal behavior and psychopathy. She stated she believed that criminals who have learned to be that way can unlearn but psychopaths cannot be rehabilitated. I know many of you also hold this belief so I would like to tell you why I strongly disagree. First I will tell you my position: ALL criminality stems from an interaction between a person and a situation. A person is a product of his/her genetics and experiences. So in a sense what makes up personality (the "person") is …
Love Fraud: An inspiration to anyone who has been targeted by a sociopath
By ErinBrock Get the book, get the book, get the book!!!!!!! LOVE FRAUD: How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, by Donna Andersen, is a must read for anyone left in pieces after a toxic relationship involving a sociopath. Survivors of sociopathic relationships are left wondering, “How did I get here?” and “Where do I go from here?” Donna's book will give you insight into finding these answers and provide the inspiration to know ”¦”¦ it's not over until the “fat” lady sings. We can survive; we will recover! Trust the plan. Donna Andersen is an inspiration to anyone who has been targeted by a sociopath. Follow Donna's story and you will be compelled to pick yourself up and …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Delete yourself from the lie
A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story. It's Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life. Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels... WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before.... Like I told you the …