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Lovefraud Blog

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The importance of teaching empathy to children

April 22, 2010 //  by Donna Andersen//  27 Comments

Neuroscientists, psychologists and educators believe that bullying in schools and other kinds of violence can be reduced by encouraging empathy at an early age. Read How not to raise a bully: The early roots of empathy on Time.com. Link submitted by a reader via the Lovefraud Facebook fan page. …

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Category: For parents of sociopaths, Sociopaths and family

Idealism and sociopaths

April 19, 2010 //  by Donna Andersen//  188 Comments

Last year, Slate published an article called My mother married her prison pen pal. A synopsis of the story is this: After 22 years of marriage, the author's parents divorced. One day her mother receives a collect phone call from Joe, who was incarcerated. He dialed her phone number at random; thinking it was someone she knew who had the same name, the woman accepted the call. The prisoner asked the woman to write to him. She thought it was a good mentorship opportunity, so she did. Eventually, the woman married the guy. Please pause now and read the story: My mother married her prison pen pal By Anna Balkrishna The biggest myth Mom knew that Joe was in jail—she started w …

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Category: Seduced by a sociopath

Families of sociopaths need help when incarceration is over

April 17, 2010 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  34 Comments

Shortly after I met serial killer Rodney Alcala, he invited me over to see his photography. At the time he was living with his parents even though he was 35. Upon entering the home, he introduced me to his mother who was visibly angry with him for inviting me over. Looking back now I can guess this was because he had been convicted twice of violent crimes against young girls. I do not blame the Alcala family for the behavior of Rodney or for not telling me to get away from him. I only bring up this story to highlight the fact that when offenders are released from prison they become a problem for their families. A person getting out of prison has no place to go, no home, no money and no …

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Category: For parents of sociopaths, Sociopaths and family

Lovefraud’s comment about sociopaths for the DSM-5

April 16, 2010 //  by Donna Andersen//  175 Comments

Editor's note: The American Psychiatric Association is in the process of updating its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, which is the main reference book used by mental health professionals. Back in February, Lovefraud invited you, our readers, to complete a survey on issues related to the new DSM-5. We will be preparing a full scientific paper on the results of the survey. In the meantime, following is Lovefraud's comment to the DSM-5 committee, which includes the basic survey results. To read the revised definition of antisocial personality disorder in the draft of the DSM-5, click the following link. (The working group has recommended …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath, Scientific research

How To Avoid Exploitative Partners

April 15, 2010 //  by Steve Becker, LCSW//  373 Comments

While there are no sure-proof ways to avoid exploitive partners (short of entering the monastery), we can reduce our risk of getting too deeply involved with them. Why do I say too deeply? Because if getting involved with an exploiter at all isn't bad enough, getting in too deeply is the disaster we hope to avoid. One of the best (and most under-utilized) strategies to protect yourself is to properly“vet” your prospective (or new) partner. What I have to say ahead is especially applicable if you've been burned by a sociopath previously, and even moreso if you suspect in yourself a tendency to enter relationships with bad-news characters. What do I mean by “vetting” your partner? I mean, …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath, Sociopaths and family

A Witness to Healing

April 14, 2010 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  59 Comments

Editor's Note: The author of this piece, Travis Vining, told his story to Lovefraud readers back in 2008. He is the son of a psychopath, and wrote about how confusing it was to know that the man was his father, and also a murderer. Travis' previous blog articles are listed under “True Lovefraud Stories.”Travis helped get his father, John Vining, convicted of three murders. The Orlando Sentinel recently published a three-part series of articles about Travis and the murders. You can read the articles here:Part 1 of 3: In ”˜o4, killer's son recalled dad admitted to 2 killingsPart 2 of 3: Plan by killer John Vining's son involves betrayal, lies, audiotapePart 3 of 3: Search for killer John Vining …

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Category: Media sociopaths, Recovery from a sociopath

10 Signs that you’re dating a sociopath

April 12, 2010 //  by Donna Andersen//  1,523 Comments

If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath. 1. Charisma and charm. They're smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting. 2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that. 3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends. 4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch. 5. Blame …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

New York book club to discuss ‘The Sociopath Next Door’

April 11, 2010 //  by Donna Andersen//  108 Comments

The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us, by Martha Stout, Ph.D., will be the topic of discussion at a New York City Barnes & Noble Book Store on April 22, 2010, at 7 p.m. The event is sponsored by the Non-Fiction Reading Club at the Barnes & Noble at 86th and Lexington Avenue. All are welcome. Event announcement provided by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

Let’s do something about psychopaths like Rodney Alcala

April 10, 2010 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  79 Comments

Yesterday, I went to the studios of Inside Edition to be interviewed. People want to know what it feels like to have been photographed by a serial killer. How does it feel know that my life could have easily ended in June of 1979 along with the other victims? Inquiring minds also want to know how I feel about Rodney Alcala. Do a search on “stuck by lightning twice” and you will discover that the odds of being struck by lightning once are 1/3000. The odds of being struck twice are 1/9,000,000. Since there are 300,000,000 people in America this unusual event has happened. What does a person who was nearly struck by lightning once, and then actually struck 23 years later say about the nea …

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Category: Media sociopaths

RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: When what you give is squandered

April 7, 2010 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  198 Comments

Editor's Note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Re-thinking identity as a giver when giving too much can hurt By Fannie LeFlore, MS,LPC,CADC-D Fannie LeFlore profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide If you've been victimized by someone, chances are the positive qualities you possess were viewed as an opportunity to take advantage of you — often by someone who lacks caring and concern, consciousness or character, usually in combination. Being un-thoughtful and even callous in our stressed, hurried and often competitive and conflict-oriented society can become as easy as brushing one's teeth. T …

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Category: Recovery from a sociopath

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