How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Lovefraud Blog

Psychopaths thrive amid confusion, inexperience and denial

//  by //  47 Comments

Bernie Madoff swindled an estimated $50 billion from investors in his hedge fund, and in March 2009, pleaded guilty to securities fraud. He was sentenced to 150 years in jail. But if the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), which is charged with regulating the securities business, had been doing its job, Madoff could have been stopped years earlier. In a scathing report issued last week, the SEC's inspector general, H. David Kotz, summarized six substantial complaints that the agency received about Madoff dating back as far as 1992. The SEC conducted two investigations and three examinations into the complaints, and never identified Madoff's Ponzi scheme. The good news is that Kotz …

Psychopaths thrive amid confusion, inexperience and denialRead More

Garrido and Mitchell: two sociopaths who are also delusional

//  by //  218 Comments

“Suddenly, everything made sense, I was not crazy, I had been dealing with a psychopath!” explained a woman this week as she told the story of how she discovered “psychopathy” and Dr. Hare's diagnostic symptoms. With this discovery, she learned that a personality disorder is behind the behavior of people who manipulate and harm others without guilt or remorse. Prior to learning about psychopathy, the woman said she held the view that all people were basically good and needed the same things. Understanding psychopathy/sociopathy gave her the ability to make sense of a world where a small fraction of individuals do a tremendous amount of harm- AND YET THESE INDIVIDUALS ON THE SURFACE SEEM PERF …

Garrido and Mitchell: two sociopaths who are also delusionalRead More

TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: I didn’t want to be alone and believed that he loved me

//  by //  149 Comments

Editor's note: The following story was submitted by a reader who we'll call Mandy. Mandy is 15 years old and dated a sociopathic guy, who was two years older, for over a year. Notice how similar the sociopath's behaviors are to what many of us adults experienced—an indication that this manipulative behavior is instinctual in sociopaths. A person cannot be diagnosed a sociopath until the age of 18, but can start showing symptoms at a young age. He was 15 and I was only 13. We lived in two separate towns. We met on the computer off of an Internet website called Facebook and then started talking all the time on phone. I was a perfect victim. I had no self-esteem when I was younger b …

TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: I didn’t want to be alone and believed that he loved meRead More

After the sociopath is gone: Loving another. That was then. This is now.

//  by //  283 Comments

It is perhaps one of the most difficult things to do after having loved, The Lie. To love again without fear of the past repeating itself. To love without fear of making a mistake. Without fear of being hurt. And yet, we yearn for love. For connection. For that special someone to spend away the hours, sharing in good times and bad. To whisper sweet nothings in the night, to hold and to be held, to laugh with, cry with and even have sex with. But no, our tender hearts cry out, I can't do it. I won't. I'll never love again. Too risky. Too intimate. Too much. Or, before our broken hearts even have a chance to stop bleeding, we race out and find another, searching for that special someone to …

After the sociopath is gone: Loving another. That was then. This is now.Read More

The love scripts of sociopaths

//  by //  316 Comments

It is likely you are reading this because a sociopath said “I love you” and you believed him/her. You also probably thought that when the sociopath said “I love you” he/she used these words as you do, to express a sense of intimacy, passion and commitment. However, what a sociopath says and what a sociopath does are so different it can be crazy making. In the aftermath of a relationship with a sociopath, former romantic partners are left to wonder, “Just what was going on in that person's mind?” "What was he/she thinking?" Many people have written in asking, “Did he/she really love me?” and “Do you think he/she loves that other person now?” It is the second question many find most disturbi …

The love scripts of sociopathsRead More

BOOK REVIEW: In Sheep’s Clothing–Understanding Manipulative People

//  by //  139 Comments

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) Dr. George K. Simon, Jr., Ph.D. received his degree in clinical psychology from Texas Tech University and has studied and worked with manipulators and their victims for many years. Dr. Simon has taught over 250 workshops on the subject of dealing with manipulative people. In 1996, he published In Sheep's Clothing—Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People. This book is in its ninth printing. The book is divided into two principle parts. Part I is “Understanding Manipulative Personalities” and Part II is “Dealing Effectively with Manipulative People.” Two Important Types of Aggression Dr. Simon describes two types of aggression: Two of the …

BOOK REVIEW: In Sheep’s Clothing–Understanding Manipulative PeopleRead More

The Worst Historians

//  by //  119 Comments

One thing that's certain about sociopaths and exploitive personalities generally: when it comes to relationships, they are the worst historians. They are chronic historical revisionists—that is, they are constantly revising history. And their revisions are headed in predictable directions—to make them look good, unguilty, unresponsible for the damage they've caused and, of course, whenever possible, to position themselves as the true victims of the circumstances. And that's, of course, when history interests them. And history will interest them, but only when they can use it against you. If it suits their need, say, to punish you for a decision you made in the past, even before you met t …

The Worst HistoriansRead More

After the sociopath is gone: The ABCs of healing the past

//  by //  43 Comments

The past. We've all got one. All stumbled over its inevitable lumps and bumps, highways and by-ways leading to nowhere. It's something we can't get out of living without. It's the thing that makes our lives what they are today. It's also the thing that can keep us from living our lives today for all we're worth. We can't get rid of the past. Nor should we want to. What we can do is lighten its load and shorten its shadow on our life today by following these three simple ABC's to living freely in what Joseph Campbell calls, ”˜the rapture of now'. A. Acknowledge the reality of what is. Acknowledge your patterns of behaviour that created your reality today. B. Be accountable for your ro …

After the sociopath is gone: The ABCs of healing the pastRead More

Steve Becker addresses the question: Is your narcissistic husband wasting your life?

//  by //  5 Comments

Lovefraud author Steve Becker, LCSW, was interviewed again on Internet radio. The program on Martha Trowbridge Radio is called Love's mirage: Is your narcissistic husband wasting your life? In the interview, Steve gives a brief definition of narcissists, describing them as people who feel entitled to whatever they want. He discusses common myths about narcissists. Then he gets into the meat of the topic—are there any signs that indicate a relationship with a narcissist can be salvaged? You can listen to the interview by clicking the link below. To start the audio, click the arrow in the green bar under the headline: Steve Becker, LCSW: Love's Mirage: Is Your Narcissistic Husband Wasting …

Steve Becker addresses the question: Is your narcissistic husband wasting your life?Read More

Can Michael Vick change his behavior?

//  by //  25 Comments

Nearly two weeks ago, watching the Philadelphia Eagles play the New England Patriots in a pre-season game, I heard TV commentators talking about the newest addition to the Eagles roster: dog-murderer Michael Vick. The news soon became official. The Philadelphia Eagles signed Michael Vick, the former star quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons who just completed a 23-month sentence for running a dog fighting ring. Vick spent 18 months in prison, then served the rest of his sentence in home confinement. Thousands of Eagles fans were outraged. “As a lifetime Philadelphia sports fan, I'm reeling from the Eagles' signing of Michael Vick, justifiably the most hated man in sports,” wrote Dan Bro …

Can Michael Vick change his behavior?Read More