The following letter, written by a young woman who we'll call Chloe, is one of the most complete stories of psychological manipulation that I've ever seen yet. Chloe wrote this letter secretly while the sociopath she is living with was at the gym. I met my boyfriend two years ago. I was 18; he was 33. He's a photographer; we live on an island that is very small. He has lived here forever (10 years) and I had only been here a few months when I met him. Everybody, especially women on the island, adore him, he is THE BIGGEST charmer. He told me that he had moved here with his fiancée, that she had said she was going home for a week, and then never came back. He said she'd gone to therapy b …
After the sociopath: How do we heal? Part 9 – Returning to Wounded Innocence
In the series on recovering from traumatic relationships, this is the third article on grieving and letting go. It is an extension of the last one, which discussed exploring the past to understand our patterns of belief and behavior. This is about how we do it and what we find. Or rather about how I did it, and what I found Unpacking frozen memories This week I reached out to someone whose name is part of my history. She was once the lover of a man I regarded as the great love of my life. He was an alcoholic poet who died when I was 23. She is a poet too. I found her web site, read a poem about the first time they made love, and wrote her an e-mail to introduce myself. She wrote back, …
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Fake Rockefeller case: Are Ablow and Howe “hired guns”?
The back cover of Whores of the Court: The fraud of psychiatric testimony and the rape of American Justice by Margaret Hagen, Ph.D. has a picture of a graphic that says, “Expert Psychological Opinions For Sale.” In her book, Hagen is justifiably critical of psychologists and psychiatrists who function as “hired guns” in the court room. These hired guns, in collaboration with unethical attorneys often do the dirty work of psychopaths and make it difficult for victims to get justice. Both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association have issued strong statements about the ethics of acting as a “hired gun.” Such conduct is not considered ethical. The America …
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Aging out of sociopathy?
Research has suggested that some sociopaths may experience something like “sociopathic burnout,” characterized by a reduction in their antisocial behavioral output as they move through middle and older age. (This is a type of decline in production to be glad for.) What this does not mean is that sociopaths “outgrow” their sociopathic orientation, anymore than a career thief outgrows his thief's mentality. “Sociopathic burn-out,” let me stress, is not to be mistaken for something as chimerical (and unrealistic) as the sociopath's “personal growth.” One might be tempted to regard the aging sociopath's “mellowing” as a signal of his perhaps, finally, “growing up;” of his acquiring perhaps, f …
Diagnosing the problems correctly
By Ox Drover I flashed on something a while back. I know a man who went into the navy at age 16. When he was 18, he was on shore leave and met a young girl, rapidly fell in love with her, married her, set her up in an apartment and went back to sea for nine months. When he got back to shore, she was gone. He couldn't understand why. Later, when he was 22, he met another girl when he was on shore leave and married her as well. Lived with her a couple of weeks, during which time she got pregnant, and then left her and went back to sea for a year. When he came home, his wife and baby daughter were gone. At this time, he started thinking about “what had gone wrong” with his two mar …
Lovefraud extra: Let’s support Sandra Boss
The kidnapping trial of "Clark Rockefeller" the psychopathic con artist who is charged with parental kidnapping is happening at the time of this writing. The defense is claiming "insanity" and attacking Sandra Boss for having fallen for his lies. A survey of internet blogs reveals public abuse of Sandra. Please add your comments in support of Sandra to the blogs, particularly this one http://www.boston.com/news/local/breaking_news/2009/06/rockefellers_2.html. To watch the trial live visit:http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/specials/05_28_09_Rockefeller_live_video/ This is outrageous,Sandra was worked over by the defense. Someone (perhaps an attorney who reads this blog) …
The philosophy of a sociopath
Lovefraud recently received a letter from a woman who we'll call Valerie. She met her husband, who we'll call Dylan, at age 18, and has been with him for seven years. She thought they were happy together in their wonderful home with their family of pets. Suddenly Dylan started acting erratically. He said he didn't want to be with Valerie any more. He picked fights. She asked Dylan to leave, but made it clear that she was willing to do whatever was necessary to help him. So he left, and wouldn't tell her where he was. Eventually, Valerie's intuition told her to check her husband's Facebook page, where she found Dylan's love letters to another woman. Then Valerie found how Dylan described …
PTSD, defeat and the victim identity
When I was a med student, I studied animal models for human stress and depression. The best animal model of what a psychopath does to others is that of the rodent resident-intruder paradigm. In this model, males are introduced into the home territory of other males, they experience social defeat and are removed before they are injured. Repeated exposure to this situation produces a defeated animal who is chronically submissive and gives up without a fight whenever he encounters other males. Below is the posture of a defeated mouse. The physiology of this defeated rodent resembles human depression very closely. The defeat state can be reversed with antidepressants. Defeat is associated …
How parasites–like ticks and psychopaths–work
By Ox Drover As an advanced practice nurse, one of the things I did here in the rural area where parasites are common was warn people about the many diseases, several of them potentially fatal, caused by a common parasite, the tick. Here on LoveFraud we often refer to psychopaths as “parasites” because, like a common blood-sucking tick, they feed off of a host, without giving any benefit to the host, or giving any more thought to the damage they do to the host than a common tick does as he burrows into your flesh. In the warmer months of the year, the tick searches for anything that is warm and moves and can actually leap small distances to latch on to the host. They like to burrow i …
Marriage to a sociopath ends in murder
The beautiful young woman in the photo above is dead. On October 7, 2008, in Odessa, Texas, Kelsi Miller was murdered by her husband, Jarrett Weaver, a young man who fit the profile of a sociopath. He, too, is dead. Lovefraud just published their tragic story: Jarrett Weaver shoots his wife, then he shoots himself. It's heart-wrenching, worst-case scenario of what happens when people don't understand the evil of a sociopath. Kelsi Miller had everything going for her. Besides her obvious beauty, she was accomplished and caring. She was studying to be a nurse. Jarrett Weaver, however, was a manipulative drug addict who couldn't hold a job. He was violent on the eve of their wedding, and the …