How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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The sociopath in my life: a journey to real healing

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Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. As I was wondering what to write about for my blog article this week, Southernman429 did me a favor and provided a topic. He posted the following on Dr. Leedom's most recent article: I'd like to pose a question to Donna, M.L., and Dr. Leedom”¦ Is it normal to go on with your life”¦ develop new relationships”¦ have new goals and new ideals”¦ years go by”¦ basically move on from the sociopathic experience”¦ but yet”¦ still feel a emptiness in a part of your heart, or a tugging at your soul”¦ a sort of grieving”¦ maybe partly for them, or about them, but also about y …

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Can victims become like the psychopath?

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This week we received the following email: My daughter is married to a man I consider a psychopath. My daughter has not spoken with me for many months. She has totally changed her personality, voice, she says things she never would have said before, she attacks me to my friends. My daughter and her husband seem to have their own version of reality, truth, and morality that is not consistent with those outside her marriage or in the world. My husband doesn't want to invite them to our house for the holidays or have anything to do with them. I feel the same way, too, because of their attacks and saying things that are not true about us. I have gotten advice on this blog to try and have a …

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Philadelphia parole board must learn how to spot psychopaths

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On Sunday, I wrote about the case of Daniel Giddings, a violent criminal, recently paroled, who executed a Philadelphia cop. Yesterday, the governor of Pennsylvania, Ed Rendell, requested a "top-to-bottom" review of Philadelphia's parole process. And, the governor put a moratorium on paroles until the review is complete. John S. Goldkamp, head of Temple University's criminal justice department, got the assignment of conducting the parole system review. According to an article in today's Philadelphia Inquirer, Goldkamp plans to "focus on how other states release violent offenders into society and whether those practices can be used here." Professor Goldkamp, let me save you some …

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When judges and parole boards don’t understand psychopaths, cops die

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Tomorrow, the city of Philadelphia is burying a police officer killed in the line of duty. Last Tuesday, Highway Patrol Officer Patrick McDonald was shot to death after a routine traffic stop in a bad neighborhood. The city is furious, and rightfully so—the killer, Daniel Giddings, had an extensive and violent criminal history. He was convicted of robbery and aggravated assault in 2000 for carjacking and kneecapping the victim in the process. Yet Giddings was paroled from a maximum-security prison to a halfway house on August 18, 2008, which he promptly fled. On August 27, Philadelphia police pulled Giddings over for a traffic violation in a car that was later discovered to be stolen. H …

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Radio show to discuss the children of sociopaths

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Sociopathy is a disorder that doesn't afflict a person as much as it does his/her family! Since the disorder is also partly genetic it afflicts the family for generations. This week I have heard many amazing and tragic stories and I would like to share a few of them with you. These stories are about the children of sociopaths. I am working on a project to document symptoms of psychopathy in accused and convicted con artists. As part of this project I am interviewing the family members of con artists. That is how I became acquainted with the 17 year old daughter of a convicted con artist. She wrote me a nice note saying that if I wanted to know about her father, I should study conduct …

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Accepting the sociopath/narcissist’s blame to preserve the relationship

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Here's a theme I think we can relate to: Your partner (a male in this example, strictly for convenience's sake)—a narcissist, or perhaps sociopath—blames you for his misery, bad moods, bad decisions, frustrations, dissatisfactions, disappointments and underfulfillment. From his perspective, if he cheats on you—or deceives and betrays you—you will have deserved it, because you will have been responsible for the discontent that necessitated his violating behaviors. Remember he feels entitled to have what he wants; he deserves what he wants, when he wants it; and if he's frustrated, it must be someone's fault. Someone must be blamed, and you, his partner, will be his odds-on choice to o …

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When psychopaths compare notes

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Lovefraud recently received an e-mail from a reader telling us about discussion on another Internet forum called PsychForums. Here's what he wrote: Found an interesting set of postings. On PsychForums. "Craving for Antisocial Behavior." With postings between four psychopaths. Arguing for various positions With general agreement that society has infringed on them. And so deserves the revenge. Sounding like people are viewed similarly to enemy combatants. And deserve what they get. Alternate view is that people's revulsion against psychopaths is understandable. That people don't want bad things to happen to them. So don't be a fool and don't get caught or cry unfair. There are plenty of …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: How can we deal with the sociopathic ex-wife?

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Lovefraud recently received e-mail from a woman whose new husband was previously married to a sociopath, with whom he had two children. Two weeks before his divorce was final, the sociopath charmed him into sex and got pregnant again. Here's what is going on now: She uses the kids as pawns. She molested her son, he told his therapist (at 4 years old). Drew pictures of her vagina, doesn't like hair in his mouth, wet the bed, the whole nine yards. She got out of it. We've been in custody hearings for a year and a half. The judge feels SORRY FOR HER!!! My husband is a good man. She is Satan in human form. She's a constant thorn in my side. My husband is good at dealing with her now. He knows …

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Reflections on antisocial behavior (Part 3): Is that person a sociopath/psychopath?

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Five and a half years ago I started a quest to understand sociopathy/psychopathy and antisocial behavior. Long before that, in 1981, I attended a lecture by Dr. Sarnoff Medick at USC. During that lecture, he presented the results of his research. His research on adopted children indicates that antisocial behavior has a strong measurable genetic basis. His studies did not single out anyone “diagnosed” a sociopath/psychopath they only examined antisocial behavior in parents and their biologic and adopted offspring. Remembering these studies, I read them again and found many others demonstrating the genetic basis for antisocial behavior and sociopathy/psychopathy. Also at the beginning of my …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: The Biggest Lie

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By James A few days ago while watching television with my oldest son, he turned to me and said, "You know, Dad, what biggest lie she ever told us was?" I said, "No, son, I don't." "When she told us nothing was going to change, and how much everything has changed." "Guess so, Son. Maybe that was the biggest lie she ever told us." I remember that day so well, as if it only happened yesterday. It was the evening of May 22, 2006, between the hours of 7 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. The cold months were ending and summer would soon be here, only this summer would be much more different than my children and I could ever imagine. I just finished with the washing, trying to help out more around the …

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