How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Reflections on antisocial behavior (part 1): When women are sociopaths

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This semester I am teaching a course on personality and psychopathology to graduate students in counseling. I am very excited about this course and am considering making it available online to everyone. I sat down with a colleague this week and explained the content of the course. During that conversation the topic of gender differences in personality came up. My colleague said something like, “Yeh, we expect men to compete, sometimes act aggressively and to spread their seed, women are biologically preprogrammed to stay put and to nurture.” I countered by saying , “While that formulation has some truth, we often fail to appreciate that females also have aggressive tendencies rooted in the …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Finding sanity after the sociopath (part 2)

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Editor's note: The following essay was submitted by Lovefraud reader “Presseject.” This is part two of his story. Part one was posted yesterday. By Presseject About two weeks after I confronted my S, there was a very dark day in which I was cut to pieces. I am okay now recalling it, but at that time, and for many weeks afterwards, it was like a knife in the heart. I would like to share a bit further with you the silver lining to this part of the story and how that relates to the good work you have done with the site. You see, it went like this: I had my S visit and stay with me for my birthday weekend. He presented me with fun gifts and a card that included the words signed with "tons of l …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Finding sanity after the sociopath (part 1)

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Editor's note: The following essay was submitted by Lovefraud reader "Presseject." This is part one of his story. Part two will be posted tomorrow. By Presseject A little over three months ago I had my heart ripped out from me. It happened suddenly and there are few words I can use to describe the pain I felt as dreams, hopes and even what I thought was my own sanity seemed to disappear quickly in a crushing instant that reverberated with off-the-scale emotional aftershocks for weeks into months afterwards. I suffered nearly two months of an awful nerve-wracking traumatic stress reaction, a hypervigilence that has finally recently lessened its grip on me. The Internet, along with my own …

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It looks like Sarah Palin is under Troopergate investigation because of a sociopath

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John McCain, candidate for United States president, surprised everyone by naming Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska, as his running mate. Regardless of what you think about her political views, Palin had a reputation as a squeaky clean reformer—at least until "Troopergate" broke in July. According to the Anchorage Daily News, Alaska legislators voted on July 28, 2008, to hire an independent investigator to explore whether Governor Palin, her family, or members of her administration pressured the former Public Safety Commissioner, Walt Monegan, to fire a state trooper. The trooper in question, Michael G. Wooten, is the ex-husband of Molly McCann. McCann and Wooten are locked in a bitter c …

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Crimes of Persuasion: Schemes, Scams, Frauds

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Yesterday I had a conversation with a woman who was married to a con artist for over 5 years and she didn't know it. The man she met online, had married her representing himself as a “hedge fund manager.” She helped him entertain clients who invested in his company. He also had a business partner, someone who had known him for over 10 years. That business partner was also conned and lost a great deal of money. It turned out that everything about the man other than these two very real people was a sham. Every word out of his mouth was spoken as part of some pathological lie. The man is without doubt a sociopath/psychopath and con artist. In the aftermath of being taken both personally and fi …

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Chilling portraits of sociopaths in film

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There have been countless depictions of sociopaths and other predatory personalities in film. Most are pretty bad, incomplete and/or inaccurate. But some have been dead-on. And so I've canvassed my memory for what I regard as several notably excellent portraits of sociopaths in film. I'd be curious what you think of these performances (if you've seen them), and eager to discover, through you, new film/television portraits of sociopaths that ring disturbingly true. In no special order, I'll start with the original foreign film, The Vanishing, 1986 (not the subsequent and lame Hollywood remake). The Vanishing delivers-up one of the most sinister depictions of a sociopath I've ever seen. The …

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A list for leaving the sociopath behind

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by AlohaTraveler How many of us have a list, or know someone who does, of the ideal qualities we are looking for in THE ONE? I think these lists can sometimes cause us to miss out on someone quite wonderful because we get so attached to a check list. But that's another topic. I have a different kind of list. It could be called the list of EXACTLY what I DO NOT want in a life partner! This list has helped me to heal and come to terms with the reality of the Bad Man. While going through my things this morning, I found a piece of binder paper with a list I had written about the Bad Man in the early stages of my healing. It was written sometime within the first year after I had left him. …

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Fake Rockefeller to be interviewed on Today Show

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A jailhouse interview with "Clark Rockefeller," who authorities believe is really Christian Gerhartsreiter of Germany, will be broadcast Monday and Tuesday on NBC's Today Show. According to an article on MSNBC.com, the bogus Rockefeller now claims that his ex-wife knew he wasn't really a Rockefeller, and used the name to advance her career. Still, he insists that he doesn't remember if he is Christian Gerhartsreiter, and he grew up in New York City. UPDATE 8/25/08 - See the first Today Show interview. Rockefeller in the New York Times I wonder if the Today Show interview will be as clueless as a story in today's New York Times. Plastered across the front of the Sunday Styles section was …

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After the sociopath is gone: Inspired Change

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I receive a weekly newsletter from Brian Willis at Winning Mind Training. In his latest newsletter he quotes Lon Bartel, a law enforcement trainer in Arizona who said, "People change out of desperation or inspiration. Desperation results in short term change. Inspiration, results in powerful and lasting change." When I was in relationship with the sociopath, I made desperate changes. Living in constant fear, I was desperate to keep him happy. In my desperation, I contorted and distorted myself to fit the image he told me I had to fit. Most of what I did was about keeping him happy and my life, as it were, intact. Often, the changes I made were 'inspired' by his anger. I would do just …

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Esther Elizabeth Reed: Profile of a female con artist and sociopath/psychopath

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Sociopathy or Antisocial Personality Disorder is a psychological disorder that affects about 4 percent of the adult population. The extreme form of this disorder affects 1 percent of the adult population and is also called psychopathy. Among those with sociopathy/psychopathy, there is a spectrum of severity and the traits/behaviors that make up the disorder are also found in non-disordered people. These observations have led the American Psychiatric Association to consider a prototype approach to diagnosis. I believe the prototype approach is very useful to both professionals and the educated public so I will explain it. The prototype method of diagnosis involves describing what someone …

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