How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Meet the new Lovefraud author: Stephen Appel, Ph.D.

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Psychopaths are not necessarily great liars. That's the premise of a series of articles Dr. Stephen Appel, the newest Lovefraud Blog author, has recently posted on his website, The Top Two Inches. "The Top Two Inches," in case you're wondering (as I was), refers to the head, but means the mind, brain and thinking. Dr. Steve's website is devoted to contemplating "the mysterious workings of the mind." In Myth: Psychopaths are great liars, Dr. Steve agrees that psychopaths are pathological liars. "They are pathological, they are chronic tellers of untruths, and this dishonesty is tied up with their pathology," he writes. But according to Dr. Steve, research shows the speech of a …

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A common verbal ploy of the psychopath

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This is my first post on the LoveFraud blog. It's a great pleasure to be part of this most worthwhile effort to teach people to recognise and avoid sociopaths. (Or psychopaths, as I prefer.) Over at my blog - the top two inches - I have been thinking and writing about something that psychopaths invariably do to deflect things away from themselves and onto others. Perhaps you've encountered it: the psychopath does something wrong, but the moment attention is drawn to this he (usually it's he) magically causes you to feel bad. Here are a few examples: 1. The wifebeater says: "Why are you making me do this!?" Consequently she may think: "It's true, I shouldn't do X [usually something …

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Should I warn the sociopath’s next victim?

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As many of us have painfully learned, before sociopaths dump one victim, they usually have already targeted another. In the following letter, a Lovefraud reader asked what she should do about the new victim: I am finally away from the sociopath, although he still continues to contact me from time to time demanding money. He has a new target—as always, a financially secure woman, vulnerable and he has "given her a shoulder to cry on." Her father just died, her mother has cancer and she stands to inherit some valuable land and she is already "hooked" thinking that he is "so caring" and "has been there for her and she for him." He has told her I left him took all his money, etc.—the same story …

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Truth and lies: After the sociopath is gone.

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Someone asked me the other day if there was anything anyone could have done that would have made a difference in what eventually happened when I was with the sociopath who is no longer in my life. Interesting question. Had I been forced into a program that made me aware of what was happening within me while I was with him, would you have gone down so far, they asked? Don't know. I do remember the craziness in my head while I was trying to justify his actions to myself, and pulling away from my friends as they tried to pull me into reality. We've talked a lot about how they felt so helpless watching me disappear before their eyes in my attempt to become invisible. They wanted …

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Inside the mind of a killer: What caused Hawkins to snap?

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Yesterday a 19 y/o man named Robert Hawkins entered the Westroads Mall in Omaha, Nebraska with an AK-47 assault rifle and killed eight people before killing himself. News commentators have been discussing what happened and several are discussing the question of whether he was depressed and taking antidepressants. I think people feel better blaming antidepressant medication for these incidents because it is too frightening to accept that there are so many sociopaths (with the potential for violence) living among us. Hawkins apparently had no arrest record prior to this event and was not known to be violent. At the time of the shooting he was living with the mother of a high school friend, …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: That was horrible, but the worst was yet to come

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Editor's note: How can one woman cope with cheating, abandonment, cruelty and worse? A Lovefraud reader has sent the following letter, and would appreciate your insight and advice. I was the perfect victim for the man who has fathered two of my children, having just gotten out of a relationship with a previous sociopath (power and control was that guy's motivation and he was cruel, vicious person behind closed doors). I was insecure, looking for a person with integrity and morals, and I still believed in the general goodness of mankind. The first sociopath hadn't smashed my general outlook on life, though, and I was rising to the challenges I faced. The second one has, though. He was the …

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Media profiles psychopaths without identifying them

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One con artist called himself Luc Sonnet. He claimed to be a fine artist who studied with Picasso and sold his paintings to wealthy international clients for as much as $250,000. The other con artist, Robert Freegard, claimed to be a British spy. He tracked international terrorists. Both of these con artists were profiled in the media on Sunday, December 2. The Philadelphia Inquirer newspaper began its story about Luc Sonnet, whose real name was Richard Grossman, on the front page. The story continued inside for three more full pages. Dateline, the investigative reporting television show produced by NBC News, told the story of Robert Freegard, a Brit who abducted an American woman …

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Writing out the sociopathic experience heals my life today

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I don't spend a lot of time writing about ”˜what happened' while I was with the sociopath. What happened cannot be changed. What can change is how I treat myself today. What I do today to create the beautiful life I deserve. In that process, I write about the triggers from the past that sometimes erupt and their impact on my life today. I find too much ruminating over what happened in the there and then affects my here and now. It holds me back from living each moment of my day with joyful abandon. Recently, however, a producer approached me about taking my book, The Dandelion Spirit, and turning it into a movie. Wow. Cool. Weird. Love it, even though part of me is scared it's just a jo …

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Choosing a love partner? Beware of The Dark Triad

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Choosing a life partner is the most difficult task young adults face. Furthermore, due to mistakes in choices, older adults also find themselves single and choosing again. The desire to have a life partner comes from our needs for sex and companionship; but, given how difficult it is to compete in society, the desire for a mate also may be influenced by more practical matters. In choosing a mate, sexual attractiveness, compatibility and social status all factor in to the equation. To avoid a mistake, then, it is necessary to be aware how sexual attractiveness, compatibility and social status influence our choices, and to couple this awareness with an understanding of the qualities that make …

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Is there any constructive, legal action to take against sociopaths?

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Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader: My psychologist referred me to this web site. It's terrific save one section: How can running away from these people be the only solution? Granted, it's a stop-gap solution to protect yourself from future abuses; however, it's not a solution for full/final resolution. Allowing [them] to perpetuate their endeavors and perpetrate them on others only permits proliferation. Please tell me that there is some constructive, legal way to be proactive and preventative in a more communal fashion. I have visions of: 20 years from now they rule the world. It won't be survival of the fittest. It will have become survival of the …

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