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Lovefraud Blog

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Creating healing with the ones you’ve hurt after the sociopath is gone

February 17, 2007 //  by M.L. Gallagher//  7 Comments

During the final 3 months of the sociopathic relationship, my daughters, then 15 and 16, did not know where I was or if I was alive or dead. Every day they waited for the police to arrive at the front door with the news that my body had been found. I had disappeared when the sociopath fled the province in an attempt to evade capture by the police. He'd promised to let me go once he reached the States. I didn't care what he did. I wanted the pain and suffering and horror of my life to end. I wanted to die. And then one day the police walked in and arrested him and I was set free. One of my first thoughts in freedom was, “I will never forgive myself for what I did to my daughters”. That was my …

Creating healing with the ones you’ve hurt after the sociopath is goneRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath, Sociopaths and family

When women are sociopaths/psychopaths

February 16, 2007 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  144 Comments

Nearly all of the research into sociopathy has involved evaluating the personality traits of adult men in prison. The reason for this is that researchers have easy access to adult prisoners and more prisoners are male. Think about it—how else would a researcher find sociopaths to study? The problem with studying sociopathy in male prisoners is that we learn nothing about sociopaths who never get arrested. We also don't know if the research results apply to women. There is actually very little research data available regarding sociopathy in non-criminals and in women. The little research that has been done reveals that sociopathy in women entails two or three main features that are similar t …

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Category: Female sociopaths

The high cost of sociopaths

February 11, 2007 //  by Donna Andersen//  2 Comments

Antisocial behavior in childhood is a major predictor of how much an individual will cost society. That's the conclusion of a study published by the British Medical Journal (BMJ) in 2001. It found that by age 28, individuals who as children had conduct disorder—kiddie sociopaths—cost public agencies 10 times more in services than children who did not have behavior problems. The study, Financial cost of social exclusion: follow up study of antisocial children into adulthood, by Stephen Scott, Martin Knapp, Juliet Henderson and Barbara Maughan (2001), measured the costs of crime, special education services, foster and residential care, state benefits and health care. It was based on a pre …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath, Media sociopaths, Scientific research

Did NASA miss any red flags?

February 9, 2007 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  1 Comment

Did NASA miss any red flags indicating that a woman put into a position of trust was a dangerous person? I follow this story with interest, having made this mistake myself. Could it be that even the rigorous psychological evaluations done by NASA fail to predict behavior or detect a sociopathy spectrum disorder? If that is true, those of us also conned by sociopaths can lighten up on ourselves. Trained professionals often miss sociopaths It is well known that even trained and experienced mental health professionals are not very good at predicting behavior and assessing sociopaths. In one study, repeat violent acts could be accurately predicted by therapist's good reports. That's right, …

Did NASA miss any red flags?Read More

Category: Media sociopaths

Unidentified psychopaths on Dateline TV

February 4, 2007 //  by Donna Andersen//  10 Comments

”˜Til Death Do Us Part is a series that began running in January on Dateline, NBC's true crime television show. It tells the stories of gruesome cases, recently in the news, in which husbands have murdered their wives, and at least one wife has murdered her husband. In the show Lady in the Lake, which aired January 2, Mark Unger was convicted of murdering his wife, Florence. She fell, or was pushed, off of a boathouse and fell onto a concrete dock 12 feet below. Although unconscious, she was still alive, until Unger pushed her into the lake and she drowned. In Body of Evidence, which aired January 9, Sean Goff, a former evangelical minister who claimed he found evidence in the Bible for “C …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath, Media sociopaths

Female sociopath first described 4,000 years ago!

February 2, 2007 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  117 Comments

I searched the scientific literature for the best description of a female sociopath. None rivaled this one that is more than 4,000 years old: For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol; she does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it. And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless, lest strangers take their fill …

Female sociopath first described 4,000 years ago!Read More

Category: Female sociopaths

Learning to be in relationship after an encounter with a Sociopath

January 31, 2007 //  by M.L. Gallagher//  12 Comments

It's been almost four years since the sociopath was forcefully extricated from my life by the police. Four years to heal, learn, grow and to rebuild. I've been feeling pretty strong, centered, together. And yet, no matter how much I heal or grow, I still shy away from an aspect of being human that drives the creative spirit to express itself through books and poetry, songs and movies, paintings and sculptures and all kinds of other art forms; ”˜a loving relationship'. In fact, I have pretty well convinced myself that I was content to spend the rest of my life ”˜a single'. I mean, really, my life is full. Two daughters living at home while going to college, my career, my writing, a busy socia …

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Category: Recovery from a sociopath

Judge orders woman arrested for blog exposing ex-husband’s military fraud

January 28, 2007 //  by Donna Andersen//  4 Comments

Lovefraud has written extensively about Phil Haberman and the efforts of his ex-wife to expose his military fraud and crimes. Last week, his ex-wife was charged with contempt of court by a Florida judge for refusing to take down her blog. A warrant was issued for her arrest. Haberman had previously accused his ex-wife, of California, of domestic violence and cyberstalking because of her blog. On September 7, 2006, Judge Robert B. Bennett Jr., of the 12th Judicial Circuit for Sarasota County, Florida, ordered her to “remove or cause to be removed all blogs, e-mails or other web-based communications” about Haberman. The woman, believing her First Amendment rights were violated, has not com …

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Category: Laws and courts, Media sociopaths

“How did he really feel?” and “What did he want from me?”

January 26, 2007 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.

“How did he really feel?” and “What did he want from me?” are two questions that often haunt victims of sociopaths. The reason we are haunted by these questions varies but often stems from the habit of over-focusing on the sociopath instead of ourselves. That being said, victims also have a healthy ”˜need to know' that can help with recovery and healing. I struggled with these questions in my own healing. I remain baffled by my observations of enjoyment of affection on the part of sociopaths. Early on, I told my own therapist that I had come to the conclusion that sociopaths exploit those close to them to the point of death, then, cry at the funeral. At the moment the tears are shed, I bel …

“How did he really feel?” and “What did he want from me?”Read More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

Futility: trying to save a sociopath

January 21, 2007 //  by Donna Andersen//  87 Comments

Dorothy Hooks is a Christian woman who tries to live by the Bible. When she met Cedric Youngblood, she saw a man who never had a chance. His family life as a child had been abusive. He had been in and out of jail. Dorothy saw someone who just needed to get out of the ghetto and learn the meaning of love and family. In Dorothy, Cedric saw a giving, caring woman who wants to do the right thing and help people.In other words, Cedric saw a target. Last week, the Cedric Youngblood story was posted on Lovefraud.com. Dorothy courageously talks about her marriage to the man who she now realizes is a sociopath. But for more than three years, Dorothy focused on Cedric's potential, hoping he would …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

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