How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Emotional incest and enmeshment in narcissistic families

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By Joanie Bentz, BS, M.Ed., LBS Since Joseph was very young, he lived with his mother, father and grandmother, as well as several other older siblings. Joseph’s mother was very controlling. Any time Joseph protested the demands she place on him, she said, “I’m the mother, and what I say goes." And the demands were relentless. Instead of allowing him to socialize with his friends, she wanted him to stay home so she could always monitor him. Never mind the fact that she did not even interact with him while he stayed in the house. All she needed was for him to be present physically. Joseph’s father was a workaholic and was never home — which enabled him to avoid confronting his wife. As Josep …

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After the sociopath’s sexual assault, I’m pregnant

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, Susana20. “They’re not going to believe you. Sign here.” That is what she told me when she gave me the pen and the custody agreement. “This is your best bet. Sign here. They are NOT going to believe you!” How did I get here??? It was the summer of 2016 . . . . After exchanging phone numbers online sometime before, we went out on a date. We were incompatible from the very beginning. Early on, I talked about waiting until marriage. He talked about how often he needs to masturbate. I talked about keeping his hands off of me. He talked about how arguments over sex made his brother nearly get a divorce. I ta …

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Antisocials, psychopaths and sex: What you need to know

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UPDATED FOR 2020 Most Lovefraud readers are here because you were, or are, romantically involved with someone who has a serious personality disorder. Usually romance leads to sex, although you may have noticed that sex with a an antisocial or psychopath isn't particularly romantic. The sex may be exciting, erotic and adventurous. But if you're looking for a true connection, the "sacred conjunction," you're not going to find it with an antisocial or psychopath, and here's why: Power, control and sex According to Dr. Liane Leedom, people who have antisocial or psychopathic personality disorder want three things in life: Power, control and sex. Often, sex is simply an extension of …

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Fotis Dulos, charged in wife’s murder, dead after suicide attempt

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UPDATE for 2020 Fotis Dulos, charged with kidnapping and murder in his wife's disappearance, has died. He had been in critical condition due to carbon monoxide poisoning after an apparent suicide attempt. Read the article: Fotis Dulos, Connecticut man charged in wife Jennifer Dulos' murder, dead after suicide attempt, lawyer says, on Foxnews.com.   Original Lovefraud story — June 5, 2019: Jennifer Dulos disappearance: Warning signs in the custody battle Jennifer Dulos, a mother of five from New Canaan, Connecticut, has been missing since May 24, 2019. Since her blood was on clothing and sponges found in 30 garbage bags that her estranged husband, Fotis Dulos, was a …

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Criminal profilers discuss the Chris Watts murders

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UPDATED FOR 2020 https://youtu.be/s1qORsx8veo Mary Ann Glynn, who is a Lovefraud webinar presenter, recently appeared on a panel  of criminal profilers to discuss the Chris Watts murders. Watts' wife and two young daughters disappeared on August 13, 2018. Two days later, Watts was arrested and subsequently confessed to murdering them all. In this video, Mary Ann Glynn explains why she believes Watts is disordered, and what motivated his actions. Here is Lovefraud's original coverage of the story: Is Chris Watts, who killed his pregnant wife and kids, a sociopath? When his wife and daughters were missing in August, Chris Watts pleaded for their safe return. Then the …

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3 self-care steps to begin your recovery from narcissistic abuse

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If you have tangled with anyone who has an exploitative and manipulative personality disorder, you have endured narcissistic abuse. What, exactly, does that mean? Good question. "Narcissistic abuse" is not an official term listed in the bible of mental health, which is the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association). If you Google the term, you'll find the circular definition that narcissistic abuse is abuse inflicted by a narcissist. Mental health officialdom does not seem to have a good understanding of how these disordered individuals behave in romantic, family or other relationships. So looking for answers, we, the targets, have turned to the …

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I am already a better person having the narcissist out of my life

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call, Laura20. Names are changed. Last year I opened a piece of mail that would change my life. I opened a credit card bill thinking it was mine, as my husband had all his bills sent to him electronically. As it turned out, his card had been compromised and before he could intercept it the bill came to our home address. On this bill there was a charge from Tiffany after Christmas. I did not receive anything from there, so I asked him about it. He told me a story to cover himself and said he returned it. I then waited a to see if the next bill came to the house to show the return. By then he had his bill back …

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Video: Mandy Friedman, LPCC, on Self-Care for Survivors

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https://youtu.be/qRH9C6E2w4g   If you feel confused, shocked and devastated during, or after, a relationship with a sociopath — according to Mandy Friedman, LPCC, you feel exactly like most victims. You may also feel angry, heartbroken, and like your entire self-concept has been shattered. Now what? How do you rebuild yourself? A critical step, Mandy says, is self-care. That's exactly what she will teach you in her upcoming webinar. For more information, and to sign up, go to the link below. Mandy will give her presentation, and then answer your questions. Self-Care for Survivors Presented by Mandy Friedman, LPCC, CCDVC Thursday, January 23, 8 - 9 pm ET • $25 More info …

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Sociopathic seduction: As long as it takes

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UPDATED FOR 2019 I confess. I am one of those people who fell for the sociopathic seduction. I was swept up in the excitement, sex and love bombing by the sociopath and committed to the relationship far too quickly. James Montgomery proposed to me four days after we met in person. I said yes. I sometimes excuse myself by explaining that we'd been corresponding via e-mail for about a month after meeting online, so it wasn't like I only knew him for four days. But then, of course, a month isn't very long either. I take some comfort in the fact that I am certainly not alone. Many, many people describe the beginning of their relationship with a sociopath as a "whirlwind romance." In …

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How childhood pain leads to involvements with sociopaths

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  Updated for 2019 Lovefraud recently received this letter from a woman whom we'll call "Nina." I'm posting Nina's story because many Lovefraud readers have told me of similar patterns in their lives. I love this man like I've never loved before. He seemed to be my soul mate.  I have had two failed marriages (no sex in them). I was touched by a neighbour starting when I was 10 and it continued for eight years. My father was totally controlling and I was not allowed friends or to go anywhere except to this neighbour. Both were depressed parents and did not show affection, only criticism. I have always felt alone but now am — parents dead, sister dead within last four years. I …

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