Lovefraud Blog

He was dating a female sociopath – no wonder he is confused

March 27, 2019 // by Lovefraud Reader// 6 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Anthony19." I’m very unsure still about what I experienced. Maybe it was nothing but a typical relationship. I did talk with a therapist that I believed specialized in emotional abuse, and she told me she believes I have an anxious attachment issue. I also talked with one other therapist that turned me on to gaslighting, which I had never heard of before and that is how this whole thing got started. My childhood friend is a therapist and he verified some of the things I’ve been reading about and thinking, however after the last visit to this therapist that mentioned anxious attachment issues, I’m feeling …

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Did a suspected psychopath make you question your memory of a past event?

March 23, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

University of Windsor researchers still in need of participants to complete online survey about experiences in relationships with psychopaths Researchers are interested in hearing about your experiences with suspected psychopaths. Use the link below to complete a screening questionnaire to determine if you are eligible to participate in the study: Screening questionnaire For this screening questionnaire, you will be asked about a specific time when someone you suspect is a psychopath made you question your memory for a past event. This may have been because they told you that your memory was incorrect, that the events did not happen, or that other people have doubts about your …

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California hairstylist loses $273,000 in online romance scam

March 21, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

"Yin," a hairstylist from California, went looking for love on Match.com, the online dating site. She thought she found it when she met "David Perez," a divorced major in the Marines with a 10-year-old daughter. Major Perez told Yin he was deployed to Afghanistan. Then he told her that he needed money. Yin sent him $273,000 — her entire life savings. Needless to say, the money is gone. Unfortunately, Yin is not alone. According to the Federal Trade Commission, 21,000 people reported losing money in online dating romance scams last year. How much did they lose? More than $143 million. It's the single largest type of consumer fraud in the country. Watch the video news r …

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Video: Mandy Friedman talks about Self-care for Complex PTSD

March 20, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

If you endured physical, emotional, psychological, sexual and/or financial abuse for a long time, you may be suffering from complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). But you can learn how to recognize the symptoms and create your own recovery program. In this upcoming Lovefraud webinar, Mandy Friedman, LPCC, CCDVC, will thoroughly explain the psychological, behavioral and physical symptoms of C-PTSD. She'll explain how this disorder affects your brain. Then, she'll teach you how to advocate for yourself if you seek therapy, and offer strategies for your own self-care. Self-Care for Complex PTSD Tuesday, March 26, 8-9 pm ET • $25 Instructor: Mandy Friedman, LPCC, C …

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People who can ruin your life, and how to deal with them

March 18, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// 6 Comments

BOOK REVIEW: 5 Types of people who can ruin your life - Identifying and dealing with narcissists, sociopaths and other high-conflict personalities, by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Review by Donna Andersen Yes, millions of people with serious personality disorders have the potential to ruin your life. 5 Types of people who can ruin your life, by Bill Eddy, is the first book I've seen that draws attention to the multiple personality disorders that spell trouble for interpersonal relationships. Bill Eddy is a lawyer and social worker who leads the High Conflict Institute, an organization which educates people about high-conflict personalities and high-conflict disputes. His previous book, …

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Complex PTSD from relationships with sociopaths

March 16, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// 2 Comments

You're pretty sure that you're involved with a sociopath, but you feel helpless to do anything about it. You're afraid of conflict and you feel a sense of paralyzing shame and loneliness. You berate yourself for not being able to make a decision and get out. But your issue may not be a character flaw — indecision, helplessness and shame are all symptoms of complex PTSD (C-PTSD). According to Dr. Karin Huffer, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a psychiatric injury caused by feeling helpless while in jeopardy. It is generally associated with a single traumatic episode, such a car crash, earthquake or sexual assault, or with combat and the atrocities of war. Complex PTSD, h …

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Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, and Rose T to hold weekly conference call support groups Sundays at 5:30 pm ET

March 15, 2019 // by Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, CHT// Leave a Comment

Experience the support of people who know from wherever you are! Join our free support group every Sunday at 5:30 pm EST. Go to destructiverelationshipshelp.com and use the Contact Form at the bottom of the home page to state your interest in joining. Do this every time even if you have joined us before! We will reply to you with instructions to join the conference call. It is anonymous and no personal information is displayed or shared. …

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What do narcissists want?

March 11, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

At first, narcissists are charming and attentive, but eventually they turn cold and cruel. Many people are totally baffled by the behavior, and come to suspect they’re dealing with a narcissist. They turn to the Internet and ask variations of the question, what do narcissists want? Here are 20 of those questions — with the answers. 1 . What do narcissists want? Narcissists want what is called "narcissistic supply." In her Lovefraud webinar called, Understanding and Recognizing Narcissistic Abuse, Tiffany Kettermann, LPC, CADCI, explains that narcissistic supply is, "Anything or anyone that feeds the narcissistic person's ego and keeps the person artificially pumped up, protecting their fra …

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The narcissist discarded me every year for 11 years

March 6, 2019 // by Lovefraud Reader// 3 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Angie19." I was involved with my narcissist for a little more than 11 years, for which 4-6 months out of each year he would discard me. The process would start out with him giving me enough rope to hang myself by pushing the buttons he knew would get me to say something he could later use to “play victim” and claim “it always comes back to this” or “why, every time, do we have to go thru this.” It would be followed up with the standard guilt trip, topped off by demeaning me, which he was very good at doing. He had a talent to be very hurtful with very few words. He would continue this beat-down unti …

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Can a relationship with a sociopath work?

March 4, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// 13 Comments

You've met someone who is charming, charismatic, fun, attentive and, oh yeah, sexy. Your relationship is the most exciting you've ever experienced — at first. Then you see some red flags, and your relationship isn't as pleasant as it once was. After a few nasty incidents, you Google words like "pathological lying," and see descriptions that sound like your partner. You suspect your partner may be a sociopath. The good times are, or were, really good. You don't want to throw it all away. So you wonder — can a relationship with a sociopath work? The answer depends on what you mean by "work." You cannot have a supportive, sharing relationship with a sociopath If by "work" you mean a f …

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Donna Andersen on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “As a kid I saw the original animated movies like “Snow White” and “Sleeping Beauty.” I don’t remember hoping that…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Hi Emilie yes what women want most is love and attention so the easiest way to either con women or…”
emilie18 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Mom used to read the original old fairy tales and stories to us – and when Disney movies came out…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “YES you are right the old fairy tales and legends and lores understand evil and how evil is part of…”
Donna Andersen on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Interestingly enough, the old fairy tales taught many of those lessons about evil. Does anyone read them to kids anymore?”