Lovefraud Blog

Signs of a sociopath: Man sinks his boat to kill wife on their honeymoon

January 27, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Lewis Bennett will be sentenced this week in Miami, Florida, for the death of his wife, Isabella Hellmann, who was lost at sea during their honeymoon in November, 2017. Bennett, an experienced British sailor, pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter. Bennett had claimed that the boat had struck an unidentified object. However, photos released by federal prosecutors show that the hull was intentionally punctured from the inside, causing it to sink. The United States Coast Guard found Bennett floating in his lifeboat in the Atlantic Ocean. The body of his wife was never found. Signs that Lewis Bennett is a sociopath: Murder. Bennett saved himself — and $36,000 in rare coins h …

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As Valentine’s Day approaches: Why was I betrayed by the sociopath?

January 23, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

When you're single, Valentine's Day is rough. I know, because from my teenage years through age 40, I never had a romance going on Valentine's Day. I was lonely, and loneliness sets you up as a fat, juicy target for a sociopath. The commercialization of the holiday doesn't help. When you're "between relationships," all the advertising for jewelry, flowers and special restaurant menus is painful — a constant reminder that romance is missing from your life. When I was alone, I couldn't figure it out. I was reasonably attractive, nice, considerate, successful, active and loved to have fun. What was the problem? Why couldn't I get a date? So there I was, single and about to turn 40, w …

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Legal Abuse Syndrome: the result of facing sociopaths in court

January 21, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// 2 Comments

Book review — Legal Abuse Syndrome: A Preventable Public Health Problem, by Dr. Karin Huffer Review by Donna Andersen You're traumatized by your experience with a sociopath. Then you face a divorce, child custody or some other court battle against the sociopath — and you're traumatized all over again. The sociopath lies about you, smears your reputation and makes false accusations against you. So do his or her attorneys. And the clueless judge allows all of it. Thirty years ago, Dr. Karin Huffer, a marriage and family therapist, witnessed this phenomenon among her clients. No matter what she did to help them, they kept getting worse. Then she realized that everything she did for the …

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Tribute to Karin Huffer, author of Legal Abuse Syndrome

January 21, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

The survivor community lost a shining star recently with the passing of Karin Huffer, who wrote Legal Abuse Syndrome: A preventable public health problem. She also pioneered the use of the Americans with Disabilities Act to help people dealing with sociopaths, narcissists and psychopaths get a fair hearing in court. Through her consulting practice, Karin personally accompanied her clients to court to help them stand up against manipulative sociopaths, whom she called "power centered individuals." Despite the fact that she was a very senior citizen and needed a walker to get around, she was absolutely indomitable in court, protecting her clients against lies, smear campaigns, and power …

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“I encountered a serial killer and escaped”

January 20, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

In response to a question on Quora, a writer called "Frances Red" said yes, she had escaped a serial killer, and told the story about her ex-boyfriend, Kylr Yust: Out of nowhere he bashed my head into the dashboard, zip tied my throat to the back of his seat, and forced himself upon me. I was traumatized, all these years we had been friends and he has never even so much as raise his voice at me now all the sudden he is beating the living crap out of me and stealing a big part of my innocence and Trust. After he was finished he Release Me From the zip tie that was around my throat. He kissed me and told me he had to do that to make sure he could trust me. That was then he told me that he had …

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Why sociopaths can’t love

January 17, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// 6 Comments

One winter, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I traded colds. I got sick first, and Terry made chicken soup and did what he could to make me feel comfortable. Then, despite my best efforts to keep my germs to myself, Terry got sick. By this time I was feeling better. So I went to the store and bought cold medicine, tissues and orange juice, because I'd used everything up. I made him chicken soup. I even made him a pot of chili. As I did all this, I noticed a warm feeling within me. It was the joy of taking care of someone I loved. I was concerned about his health and wellbeing. I was happy and energized to help him. It was a feeling sociopaths never experience, because sociopaths …

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Does my psychopath miss me?

January 16, 2019 // by yellowsubmarine// 1 Comment

Editor's note: The following article refers to male psychopaths. Women can also be sociopaths, psychopaths and other disordered individuals. Does my sociopath/psychopath miss me? The short answer is “no.” The qualified answer is “yes, in appearance, but only as long as you can afford him.” Since psychopaths are unable to have true feelings, once you are removed from his picture, you are gone forever. Somebody else with financial security will replace you, and then when the money is gone or things go sour, somebody else will replace that person. Psychopaths, we know, are not able to feel gratitude, love, loyalty or any kind of guilt or remorse that could tie him to you. During the …

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29 excuses that sabotage our instincts about sociopaths

January 14, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// 6 Comments

Almost all of us have an instinctive warning that something is terribly wrong early in an involvement with a sociopath (antisocial, narcissist, borderline, histrionic, psychopath). Almost all of us ignore the warning. Last week I wrote about the physical symptoms that we often feel in 8 ways your body warns you about sociopaths. I included fear, chills, difficulty breathing, crying, pounding heart, upset stomach, nightmares and a nagging feeling. The post was widely shared, and several Lovefraud readers added more physical warning signs: immobilizing exhaustion, poor appetite, nervous tension, tiredness, cloudy thinking, vague upset, tightness in the chest. When we're involved with a …

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Australian woman loses $305,000 in romance scam

January 13, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Scammers continue to pose as American soldiers. In a terrible recent romance scam, a 34-year-old woman from Brisbane, Australia lost AU$305,000 (US$220,210) to a man posing as a US soldier. The con man, Cosmos Emeh, 32, claimed to be deployed in Syria, but he was actually also living in Brisbane, with his Australian partner. He convinced the target to send him $200,000 via a money transfer service. Then, in a highly unusual twist, he actually showed up at the woman's home, claiming to be a "fixer" for the soldier, and collected and additional $105,000. Finally, the woman called the police. The cops conducted a sting operation and caught the guy. This was also highly unusual — usually, I …

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How a disordered elderly mother expresses love

January 11, 2019 // by yellowsubmarine// 2 Comments

Browsing, a good day Mom sat in the store fancy chair hugging the bag in a protecting embrace. She had made an impenetrable Chinese wall with her arms, fiercely defending from me a stolen $2,000 Prada bag. The round mound rested on her lap, while I tried to convince her that the store cameras knew exactly what was going on. We got some looks from wealthy shoppers that seemed to reprove my pushy, disrespectful behavior toward this 90 year-old. Perhaps they thought I wanted to keep her money. She, however, felt very entitled to take from the wealthier ones. I felt I was abusing my mother by forcing her to release her “shopping choices.” But this wasn’t our first rodeo at the mall. Steali …

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Donna Andersen on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “As a kid I saw the original animated movies like “Snow White” and “Sleeping Beauty.” I don’t remember hoping that…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Hi Emilie yes what women want most is love and attention so the easiest way to either con women or…”
emilie18 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Mom used to read the original old fairy tales and stories to us – and when Disney movies came out…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “YES you are right the old fairy tales and legends and lores understand evil and how evil is part of…”
Donna Andersen on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Interestingly enough, the old fairy tales taught many of those lessons about evil. Does anyone read them to kids anymore?”