Lovefraud Blog

Webinar teaches you to spot a sociopath or narcissist partner

January 10, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Upcoming webinar: The Basics: Love Fraud and How to Avoid It Jan. 16, 2019 • 8-9 pm ET $18.75 — or FREE with the Lovefraud 5-part Masterclass Instructor: Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com More info Sociopaths and narcissists are easy to spot, once you know what to look for. That's exactly what I'll teach you in this 1-hour webinar, so you can keep them out of your life. The Basics: Love Fraud and How to Avoid It This is the original Lovefraud webinar, and I'm presenting it again for the first time in almost three years, updated with the latest information. Here are highlights of what you'll learn in the webinar: What is a sociopath? Where are they? Male and female s …

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Claudia Paradise, LCSW: How to talk to kids about an absent daddy

January 8, 2019 // by Lovefraud Professional Resources// Leave a Comment

Lovefraud received the following question: Can you address absent sociopathic fathers and how to respond to a young child who has begun asking about him? My 4-year-old has started talking about her “daddy,” who she could not possibly remember. The last time she saw him was when she was 2 and the total time spent with him in her lifetime has probably been 12 hours total. I have cut things off with him entirely since his last visit. Anyways, lately she pretends to call him on her toy phone, or tells me that her daddy is going to pick her up from school. I think all this talk has stemmed from her best friend at school, whose dad comes to pick her up every day. Not surprisingly, none of th …

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8 ways your body warns you about sociopaths

January 7, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// 24 Comments

It took millions of years for our species to evolve from apes to modern humans, and during those years we spent a lot of time fleeing for our lives. Our very survival depended upon being able to sense danger from predators. We still have the ability to sense danger, although today it comes not from saber-toothed tigers, but from human predators, aka sociopaths. This protective sense is our intuition, which is part instinctive knowing, and part physical reaction. Our bodies tell us when someone or a situation poses a threat. Here are eight ways that our bodies warn us of danger: 1 . Fear. This is the ultimate warning sign. If you are ever suddenly gripped by fear when someone is in your …

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Dangerous Liaisons: Is his goal to break me?

January 5, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// 8 Comments

Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud is from a Lovefraud Reader whom we'll call “Aubree.” Names have been changed. I recently got out of a two year relationship with a person who I believe is a sociopath, or at the very least an extremely vengeful borderline. When we first got together, he told me that he used to have a habit of going to bars, finding the prettiest and most confident-looking woman there, and proceeding to go up to her and start picking on her and making fun of her for something that he suspected she might be insecure about. For example, if he saw a girl who was beautiful but wasn't stick-thin, he'd go up to her and start making snide remarks about her weight. He said h …

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Emotional abuse is a crime in Ireland

January 3, 2019 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Emotional and psychological abuse in an intimate relationship is now a crime in Ireland. The Domestic Violence Act of 2018, which went into effect on Jan. 1, 2019, created a new criminal offense of "coercive control." Coercive control is defined as: "Psychological abuse in intimate relationships that causes fear of violence or serious alarm or distress that has a substantial adverse impact on a person's day-to-day life, manifesting as a pattern of intimidation or humiliation involving psychological or emotional abuse." Coercive control is already illegal in England and Scotland. Psychological violence is illegal in France. In a radio interview, Margaret Martin, director of Women's …

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After the breakup, do sociopaths return?

December 20, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 3 Comments

Here's a question I hear frequently from Lovefraud readers: Do sociopaths return? The answer: Some of them don't, but some of them do. Many people who have been romantically involved with sociopaths experienced the sudden "devalue and discard." One day the sociopath loves you. The next day the sociopath tosses you aside like a used tissue and walks away, without ever looking back. As the person left behind, you may be in shock. You may have had no idea that your partner was unhappy. You may ask yourself, did I do something wrong? Why didn't he or she say something? Can't we work this out? You are also astounded at the callousness of your partner's behavior. All those statements …

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Fake spy with 3 wives — on TV and in real life

December 19, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

The BBC is running a new TV drama called Mrs Wilson — about a woman who discovers her "secret agent" husband has three other wives. This is exactly the story of Mary Turner Thomson, of Edinburgh, Scotland, whose ex-husband, Will Jordan, claimed to be an American CIA agent. In reality, he was a computer developer with three wives. The Daily Mail recently wrote about the similarities in the stories: Woman, 53, who thought she had the perfect marriage with her American 'secret agent' husband discovers he is serial bigamist with THREE other wives and 13 children. Lovefraud has been writing about this case for years. In fact, Lovefraud was instrumental in helping Jordan get arrested in h …

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My husband’s sex addiction was just the beginning of his disorder

December 15, 2018 // by Lovefraud Reader// 2 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Marguerite2018." I spent over half my life with my now ex-husband. What I’m about to share is a glimpse, as I’m sure is the case for so many of us that have stories upon stories to share of the surreal experiences that we endured with our abusers. During the course of our relationship, from time to time, I became aware of what I believed was periodic cheating or affairs. We had been through marriage counseling a few times & after each incident, I forgave & assumed it was behind us. In between incidents, there was evidence of heavy porn use. He always hid these things & I always seemed to ac …

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Signs of a sociopath: Elizabeth McKeown admits cutting a woman in half in road rage incident

December 12, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Elizabeth McKeown, 46, is charged with murder after she intentionally drove into Barbara Foster, 57, of Springfield, Missouri, according to what she told police. McKeown was stopped at a busy Springfield intersection, behind Foster. Frustrated that Foster wasn't moving, McKeown accelerated her black Mustang into Foster's car. Foster then got out of the car to inspect the damage and yelled at McKeown. As Foster returned to her vehicle, McKeown ran her over. The Washington Post reported: According to police, she told investigators "I tricked her, you know, make her think I was going to be nice, be still and everything." Instead, she said she slammed her car into Foster and "cut her in …

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My psychopath boyfriend stole all my money, bought a sailboat and tried to have me committed

December 7, 2018 // by Lovefraud Reader// 4 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "Lillian." I met him online. Dated casually for a year, during which time I met his sister who grows fruit & is married to a well-known doctor. I met his other sister who is a judge. I got to know his 21-year-old son who was graduating from college & gave him a job for a summer. I met his ex-wife. I met a childhood friend of his. He showed me portfolios of the homes he built or remodeled, I met a couple of his clients, & he drove me past a few homes. The next year we dated regularly & traveled all over the world. France, Greece, The Caribbean, Hawaii, San Diego, Seattle, NYC. We were …

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Donna Andersen on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “As a kid I saw the original animated movies like “Snow White” and “Sleeping Beauty.” I don’t remember hoping that…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Hi Emilie yes what women want most is love and attention so the easiest way to either con women or…”
emilie18 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Mom used to read the original old fairy tales and stories to us – and when Disney movies came out…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “YES you are right the old fairy tales and legends and lores understand evil and how evil is part of…”
Donna Andersen on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Interestingly enough, the old fairy tales taught many of those lessons about evil. Does anyone read them to kids anymore?”