Lovefraud Blog

“Ordinary men” do not shoot their wives and daughters — sociopaths do

December 5, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

Claire Hart, or Spalding, Lincolnshire, England, had just escaped her emotionally abusive and controlling husband. In July 2016, Claire's grown sons, Luke and Ryan, packed up her and their 19-year-old sister, Charlotte, and moved them into a rented house. Five days later, the controlling husband, Lance, shot Claire and Charlotte in the parking lot of a local sports center. Then he shot himself. A Lovefraud reader just sent me a story about the tragedy that The Guardian newspaper published last year. You can read it here: 'We didn't recognise that he was dangerous': our father killed our mother and sister After the shootings, Luke and Ryan were shocked to see articles in the media …

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Find healing from the sociopath in the holiday spirit

December 3, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 7 Comments

For the first time in our 17 years together, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I, visited New York City during the holiday season. It was far more magical than I anticipated. At the Birdland jazz club, we saw David and the Bombshells, a retro, 1930s-style band with three female singers (the Bombshells). Then, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, we saw 20-foot Christmas tree surrounded by a gorgeous, 18th-century Nativity Creche. After that, we visited the Christmas tree Rockefeller Plaza — a 72-foot tall Norway spruce decorated with thousands of LED lights. Then came the best part — the Christmas Spectacular show at Radio City Music Hall, featuring the high-kicking Radio City Roc …

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5 prison inmates steal $560K from military personnel in love fraud scam

December 1, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

Five inmates in a South Carolina prison managed to scam 442 members of the armed forces by using smuggled cell phones to initiate love fraud scams. They posed as underaged girls, contacted the service members, and then blackmailed the victims for $560,000 in hush money. US Attorney Sherri Lydon held a press conference in front of the prison in Columbia, South Carolina, and announced charges against five men: Antwine Lamar Matthews, 28 Rakeem Spivey, 27 Jimmy Dunbar Jr., 37 Wendell Wilkins, 30 David Paul Dempsey, 31 In addition to them, 10 more people were charged with helping the scammers collect the money from the victims. Finally — U.S. authorities are going after …

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The sociopath led a double life and stopped paying the bills

November 29, 2018 // by Lovefraud Reader// 3 Comments

Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who posts as "raisingtwins" sent the following story. When I met my sociopath, he was good looking, fit, charismatic and career driven. In 2002, I moved across the country with him, since he was transferred back to an office with the company he worked for. We had a baby together in 2003 and he wanted nothing to do with getting married. I should have seen that as a giant red flag. He threw lavish parties for his work team and worked long hours. We married in 2005 and his behavior was always very erratic. His weight went up and down and his episodes of anger started getting progressively worse. It was a life of constantly walking on eggshells. In …

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How loss through suicide creates perfect targets for sociopaths

November 28, 2018 // by Eleanor Cowan// 1 Comment

By Eleanor Cowan The generous invitation to a "Survivors of Suicide Loss Retreat," a day of comfort for those left behind, could so easily have been ignored by me. After all, it's been 46 years since my depressed mother climbed over the railing of her high-rise balcony in Toronto. I’ve done a great deal of recovery work since then. I researched the negative domino effect of Mum’s life: abused by her alcoholic father, unprotected by her co-dependent mother, denied the privilege of marrying the man she loved because he wasn’t Irish, followed by her hasty marriage to an unhappy religious man, who was a widower – and Irish. “Why did you marry a man you didn’t love, Mom?” I asked her one …

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Signs of a sociopath: Man allegedly gets out of prison and immediately kills a woman

November 27, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 3 Comments

David James Bohart, 34, of Arizona, got out of prison on Monday, November 19, 2018. That same day, police in Tucson received a 911 call in which a man reported that he was just released from prison and had killed his girlfriend. Bohart was arrested in a Tucson motel on suspicion of second-degree murder. The victim, Marika L. Jones, 49, was found dead in a home. While searching the home, detectives found a Department of Corrections file box belonging to Bohart. None of this looks good for Bohart. This story gives multiple hints that Bohart may be a sociopath: If he did, in fact, commit the murder, well, killing someone is a big warning sign. Killing someone on the day he got …

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The sociopath as your soul mate

November 26, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 12 Comments

A few years ago, I read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which was the #1 New York Times bestseller when it was published in 2007. Gilbert tells her story of supposedly having everything career, marriage, home yet feeling depressed and unhappy. She left it all, got a divorce, and then spent a year abroad to find herself. She ate her way through Italy, studied spiritual practice in India, and sought to balance pleasure and divinity in Indonesia. While going through her divorce, Gilbert had a relationship with a man whom she calls "David." This didn't seem to be a sociopathic relationship, just normally dysfunctional. Although they broke up, Gilbert, from time to time, pined for David. …

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With gratitude on Thanksgiving

November 22, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

Happy Thanksgiving to all Lovefraud readers! On this special day, I am grateful for: All of you Lovefraud readers, who so generously share your stories, support and advice to new survivors who visit our site. All of Lovefraud's talented webinar instructors, who share their expertise and wisdom to help you overcome your challenges. Our talented webmaster, Dave Rodrigues, who solves our technical problems. (If you tried to visit yesterday and Lovefraud was down, it is because we were under attack by multiple IP addresses. We have no idea why.) My wonderful husband, Terry Kelly, who offers wonderful support for me and all of Lovefraud. (He also made a killer Pumpkin Chiffon Mousse …

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My husband was leading a double life of prostitutes and strippers

November 21, 2018 // by Lovefraud Reader// 4 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Arlene18. I have been married to him for 29+ years and we have three grown sons, who are all still in school. In Sept. 2016, I discovered he was leading a double life filled with prostitutes and stripper girlfriends. He admits to doing this for over 20 years, though it is probably longer than that. He made the boys take out student loans, and said we didn't have enough money to replace my decrepit old car — while spending insane amounts of money on his girlfriends in order to make them like him. Through the discovery, I tried having him in therapy to see if the marriage and family could be salvaged, b …

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Why 14,347 donors gave more than $400,000 to a fake campaign to help a homeless vet

November 19, 2018 // by Donna Andersen// Leave a Comment

In this video from August, Megyn Kelly of Good Morning America interviews Katelyn McClure and her boyfriend, Michael D'Amico, about the more than $400,000 they raised for a homeless vet. Right there on national TV, they are lying. In November 2017, according to McClure, she was driving on I-95 in Philadelphia when she ran out of gas in a bad neighborhood. She got out of her car, and was about to walk to get gas, when a homeless veteran who panhandled on the side of the road told her it wasn't safe — she should stay in her car. Johnny Bobbitt walked to a gas station, and using his last 20 dollars, bought her gas so she could get home safely. McClure and her boyfriend, Mark D'Amico, said …

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Donna Andersen on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “As a kid I saw the original animated movies like “Snow White” and “Sleeping Beauty.” I don’t remember hoping that…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Hi Emilie yes what women want most is love and attention so the easiest way to either con women or…”
emilie18 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Mom used to read the original old fairy tales and stories to us – and when Disney movies came out…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “YES you are right the old fairy tales and legends and lores understand evil and how evil is part of…”
Donna Andersen on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: We want to believe that we’re different, we’re special, and so he loves us: “Interestingly enough, the old fairy tales taught many of those lessons about evil. Does anyone read them to kids anymore?”