It took millions of years for our species to evolve from apes to modern humans, and during those years we spent a lot of time fleeing for our lives. Our very survival depended upon being able to sense danger from predators. We still have the ability to sense danger, although today it comes not from saber-toothed tigers, but from human predators, aka sociopaths. This protective sense is our intuition, which is part instinctive knowing, and part physical reaction. Our bodies tell us when someone or a situation poses a threat. Here are eight ways that our bodies warn us of danger: 1 . Fear. This is the ultimate warning sign. If you are ever suddenly gripped by fear when someone is in your …
Dangerous Liaisons: Is his goal to break me?
Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud is from a Lovefraud Reader whom we'll call “Aubree.” Names have been changed. I recently got out of a two year relationship with a person who I believe is a sociopath, or at the very least an extremely vengeful borderline. When we first got together, he told me that he used to have a habit of going to bars, finding the prettiest and most confident-looking woman there, and proceeding to go up to her and start picking on her and making fun of her for something that he suspected she might be insecure about. For example, if he saw a girl who was beautiful but wasn't stick-thin, he'd go up to her and start making snide remarks about her weight. He said h …
Emotional abuse is a crime in Ireland
Emotional and psychological abuse in an intimate relationship is now a crime in Ireland. The Domestic Violence Act of 2018, which went into effect on Jan. 1, 2019, created a new criminal offense of "coercive control." Coercive control is defined as: "Psychological abuse in intimate relationships that causes fear of violence or serious alarm or distress that has a substantial adverse impact on a person's day-to-day life, manifesting as a pattern of intimidation or humiliation involving psychological or emotional abuse." Coercive control is already illegal in England and Scotland. Psychological violence is illegal in France. In a radio interview, Margaret Martin, director of Women's …
After the breakup, do sociopaths return?
Here's a question I hear frequently from Lovefraud readers: Do sociopaths return? The answer: Some of them don't, but some of them do. Many people who have been romantically involved with sociopaths experienced the sudden "devalue and discard." One day the sociopath loves you. The next day the sociopath tosses you aside like a used tissue and walks away, without ever looking back. As the person left behind, you may be in shock. You may have had no idea that your partner was unhappy. You may ask yourself, did I do something wrong? Why didn't he or she say something? Can't we work this out? You are also astounded at the callousness of your partner's behavior. All those statements …
Fake spy with 3 wives — on TV and in real life
The BBC is running a new TV drama called Mrs Wilson — about a woman who discovers her "secret agent" husband has three other wives. This is exactly the story of Mary Turner Thomson, of Edinburgh, Scotland, whose ex-husband, Will Jordan, claimed to be an American CIA agent. In reality, he was a computer developer with three wives. The Daily Mail recently wrote about the similarities in the stories: Woman, 53, who thought she had the perfect marriage with her American 'secret agent' husband discovers he is serial bigamist with THREE other wives and 13 children. Lovefraud has been writing about this case for years. In fact, Lovefraud was instrumental in helping Jordan get arrested in h …
My husband’s sex addiction was just the beginning of his disorder
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Marguerite2018." I spent over half my life with my now ex-husband. What I’m about to share is a glimpse, as I’m sure is the case for so many of us that have stories upon stories to share of the surreal experiences that we endured with our abusers. During the course of our relationship, from time to time, I became aware of what I believed was periodic cheating or affairs. We had been through marriage counseling a few times & after each incident, I forgave & assumed it was behind us. In between incidents, there was evidence of heavy porn use. He always hid these things & I always seemed to ac …
My husband’s sex addiction was just the beginning of his disorderRead More
Signs of a sociopath: Elizabeth McKeown admits cutting a woman in half in road rage incident
Elizabeth McKeown, 46, is charged with murder after she intentionally drove into Barbara Foster, 57, of Springfield, Missouri, according to what she told police. McKeown was stopped at a busy Springfield intersection, behind Foster. Frustrated that Foster wasn't moving, McKeown accelerated her black Mustang into Foster's car. Foster then got out of the car to inspect the damage and yelled at McKeown. As Foster returned to her vehicle, McKeown ran her over. The Washington Post reported: According to police, she told investigators "I tricked her, you know, make her think I was going to be nice, be still and everything." Instead, she said she slammed her car into Foster and "cut her in …
My psychopath boyfriend stole all my money, bought a sailboat and tried to have me committed
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "Lillian." I met him online. Dated casually for a year, during which time I met his sister who grows fruit & is married to a well-known doctor. I met his other sister who is a judge. I got to know his 21-year-old son who was graduating from college & gave him a job for a summer. I met his ex-wife. I met a childhood friend of his. He showed me portfolios of the homes he built or remodeled, I met a couple of his clients, & he drove me past a few homes. The next year we dated regularly & traveled all over the world. France, Greece, The Caribbean, Hawaii, San Diego, Seattle, NYC. We were …
“Ordinary men” do not shoot their wives and daughters — sociopaths do
Claire Hart, or Spalding, Lincolnshire, England, had just escaped her emotionally abusive and controlling husband. In July 2016, Claire's grown sons, Luke and Ryan, packed up her and their 19-year-old sister, Charlotte, and moved them into a rented house. Five days later, the controlling husband, Lance, shot Claire and Charlotte in the parking lot of a local sports center. Then he shot himself. A Lovefraud reader just sent me a story about the tragedy that The Guardian newspaper published last year. You can read it here: 'We didn't recognise that he was dangerous': our father killed our mother and sister After the shootings, Luke and Ryan were shocked to see articles in the media …
“Ordinary men” do not shoot their wives and daughters — sociopaths doRead More
Find healing from the sociopath in the holiday spirit
For the first time in our 17 years together, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I, visited New York City during the holiday season. It was far more magical than I anticipated. At the Birdland jazz club, we saw David and the Bombshells, a retro, 1930s-style band with three female singers (the Bombshells). Then, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, we saw 20-foot Christmas tree surrounded by a gorgeous, 18th-century Nativity Creche. After that, we visited the Christmas tree Rockefeller Plaza — a 72-foot tall Norway spruce decorated with thousands of LED lights. Then came the best part — the Christmas Spectacular show at Radio City Music Hall, featuring the high-kicking Radio City Roc …
Find healing from the sociopath in the holiday spiritRead More