How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Love Fraud book excerpt: What I did about my husband’s cheating

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I had been married to James Montgomery for about a year and a half, and he went on overnight and weekend "business trips" the entire time. I didn't want to think about what he was doing — until I had to. By Donna Andersen My husband was cheating on me. The letter from the Bank of Boston credit card department confirmed it. This was the credit card I had given to James. He spent the money; I paid the bills. On the March statement was a charge for the Berlin Motor Lodge. I knew exactly where this place was and what it looked like. It was a small highway motel on Route 73 in Berlin, New Jersey, 35 minutes from where we lived in Atlantic City. There was absolutely no reason for James to …

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Wednesday webinar: Escaping the Sociopath and Rebuilding Your Life

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You finally realize that there is something dramatically wrong with your partner. What you really want is to feel better. But how do you go about escaping the sociopath? That's what I address in the next webinar of the Lovefraud Understanding and Recovery 5-part Masterclass. The first three programs in the series explained how you got into the situation — the bottom line is that sociopaths are very, very good at what they do, and you were targeted. Now, in the webinar Escaping the Sociopath and Rebuilding Your Life, we'll be talking about how to move forward. And that's what you really want. There are two parts to your recovery — dealing with the practical issues of life, and emo …

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Letter to a sociopathic ex: You ruined me

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Claudette19." I hope this letter explains to you all what I have been through and how I am still trying to recover from the impact. Dear ex Only by staying away from you did I begin to see your destructiveness and I had to detox from your trauma. For almost 4 years you projected all your anger from your past/present onto me. You did this by calling me a c**t b**h, throwing things at me, charging at me, hurting me, threatening to kill yourself, bullying me and breaking things. You were unpleasant, manipulative and you constantly lied to me. You told me you were the only person who knew how to love me, …

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Video: After they’re gone, do sociopaths or narcissists return?

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The sociopath is gone. Either you were dumped, or you finally threw him or her out. Now what? After they're gone, do sociopaths or narcissists return? You may feel like you're in shock, especially if your sociopathic partner abruptly discarded you, after days, months, or perhaps even years of saying that you were meant for each other. Or perhaps you finally got up the nerve to end the involvement. Your partner is gone, but your resolve is unsteady. What if he or she showed up again? Can you stand strong? I address these questions in the newest Lovefraud Lessons video: Do sociopaths return? I explain why sociopaths may return, and what you should do. To learn more about what to do …

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Love Fraud book excerpt: If my family knew what was really going on in my marriage

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By Donna Andersen We married secretly in Australia. Then six months after we met, had another wedding, complete with a reception and band, attended by family and friends. By this time I had already spent more than $53,000 on my husband's projects, much of it on my credit cards. My brother's birthday was in March, and on a Sunday afternoon his wife planned a small celebration in their home. James said he had to work, as usual, so I went alone. Toward the end of the party, my brother cornered me in the family room. “You know, Donna, Dad is concerned about James,” he began. “What’s he concerned about?” “He thinks James doesn’t have any money and you paid for the entire wedding.” …

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Issues you should consider before taking a sociopath to court

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Lovefraud received the following email: I was previously married to a sociopath, and we have a 4-year-old son together.  I have sole legal and physical custody of our son, but have been fighting to reduce the amount of visitation for quite some time.  I recently read that having a forensic psychological analysis done on the entire family would reveal that my ex is a sociopath and possibly prevent him from having ANY visitation going forward.  Is this true, in your experience?  Do you have any advice for me as I embark on this process? Many, many Lovefraud readers have realized — to their horror — that they've had a child or children with a sociopath (someone with antisocial, narcissistic, b …

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Wednesday webinar: What do psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists want?

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I'm prepping for my webinar on Wednesday — What did they want? Psychopaths, antisocial and other exploiters in romantic relationships — and I'm very excited about the material. If you're trying to understand why sociopaths, narcissists and the rest of these toxic manipulators do what they do, this webinar is where you can get clarity. I explain the clunky terminology of psychology researchers and mental health professionals (and why I refer to human predators collectively as "sociopaths"). I'll show you Lovefraud's research on when most people see the warning signs of exploitative behavior — if it took you awhile, you're certainly not alone. And I explain how sociopaths become disordered — …

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On TV Feb 9 : How Derek Alldred scammed dozens of women in love fraud

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Last August, Derek Alldred was sentenced to 24 years in prison for scamming at least two dozen women out of hundreds of thousands of dollars in a massive love fraud. On Saturday, Feb. 9, at 8 pm ET, Oxygen Media will present a documentary of the case, with the women he deceived telling what happened to them. Seduced by Evil delves into the world of the wickedly smart and dangerously evil Derek Alldred, a criminal mastermind who sought out relationships with unsuspecting women and entangled them in a web of lies to deplete their savings and support his fabricated life. Through the eyes of the countless women he deceived, the documentary will feature exclusive interviews with former victims …

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Video: When sociopaths say, ‘I love you,’ what do they mean?

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Most sociopaths in romantic relationships are quick to proclaim their love. But when sociopaths say, 'I love you,' what do they really mean? In this video, I offer 10 possible explanations — none of which have anything to do with real love. I will be addressing this topic — and much more — in my upcoming webinar: What did they want? Psychopaths, antisocials, and other exploiters in romantic relationships Wednesday, February 6, 2019 • 8-9 pm ET Instructor: Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com If you want a primer on personality-disorder partners, here it is. I explain how these people behave, what they want, and why they turn so callous and cold. Their motivations are totally …

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Looks like Sen. Joni Ernst was married to a sociopath

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Senator Joni Ernst of Iowa endured verbal, mental and at least one incident of physical abuse during her marriage, according to documents filed in her divorce from her husband of 26 years, Gail Ernst. When they married in 1992, Gail Ernst was 39 and a career Army man. Joni Ernst was 22 and had recently graduated from college. In her divorce documents, Joni Ernst says: Her husband assaulted her after she confronted him about his "special relationship" with their daughter's babysitter. She fled to her mother's house with their daughter in the middle of the night. After the incident, Gail Ernst agreed to counseling, but told her not to discuss the assault in the sessions. She a …

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