How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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The sway sociopaths hold over their “minions” is hard to fathom

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 52B:  The Tsunami Pounds Ashore In spite of the adultery and Paul’s clear manipulation in getting me to move to Utah, which was clear to anyone who had two eyes and a brain, Paul’s family rallied around him. I’m sure the money he lavished on them did not hurt, and he likely reframed everything, finally revealing the “truth” about me. He had endured me long enough. Surely, they wanted hi …

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Bikers protect kids who must testify against abusers

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/c-5X5LSInEo"] Guardians of the Children is a biker organization that protects victims of child abuse. When a child must testify agains an abuser in court, the bikers escort the child to the courthouse, keep the child surrounded, and sit in the courtroom during the testimony. Their actions make the children feel protected. This organization is based in San Antonio, Texas, and has chapters in 20 states. I would like to see them everywhere. More information: Guardians of the Children …

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Stephen Paddock, the Las Vegas shooter, and his psychopathic father

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Here's the big question after the horrible massacre in Las Vegas: Why? Sunday night, Stephen Paddock, from his room on the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Casino, started shooting at the 22,000 people attending a country music concert. From his elevation, and with automatic weapons, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. A total of 59 people were killed and more than 500 wounded. It is the worst mass shooting in recent American history. Stephen Paddock, 64, is the son of Benjamin Hoskins Paddock who robbed two banks between 1959 and 1960. He was sentenced to 20 years in prison in 1961 — but escaped in 1968. Benjamin Paddock, Las Vegas gunman's father, robbed banks and fled FBI, on N …

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What I learned about trauma from my dog

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My husband and I adopted a five-year-old rescue dog, Bo, in July of 2016. I wrote about him when we brought him home, which you can read here: My new dog offers a lesson in letting go, on Lovefraud.com. Bo has been living us for over a year now, and he is an absolute joy. When I'm working, Bo usually spends the day snoozing on his cushion on the floor beside me. His internal clock tells him when it's time for his walk, and he gets all excited — he loves going out. Who is he going to meet this time? Bo wants to approach every human, dog and even an occasional cat that happens to be along his route. Bo likes to hang around in the kitchen when Terry and I are making dinner. This, h …

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An empowered approach with personality disordered co-workers

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Editor's note: The following article was posted in our Forum by the Lovefraud reader "Bluemosaic." It is such a helpful and insightful article that I want everyone to see it, so I am elevating it to a blog post as well. I have experienced longterm bullying and toxic behavior from a co-worker. I have recently given my two weeks notice to my employer and the peaceful road ahead is in sight. I am going to give a little background, for readers to better understand the vantage point from which I speak. I will begin with a couple quotes: "Always speak your truth, even when your voice shakes." Eleanor Roosevelt "In a time of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act." George Orwell, 1 …

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Think of sociopaths as aliens — it may help you understand them

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Perhaps the hardest thing to comprehend, and accept, about sociopaths is just how different they are from the rest of us. I've spoken to hundreds of people who have tangled with sociopaths. Even when the mask has not only slipped, but shattered, even when they know the truth about what the sociopath has been doing all along, they still ask, "But how could he do it?" "He kept telling me how much he loved me; how could he cheat like that?" "He said we were soul mates; how can he just up and leave?" "How can he be so cold and calculating?" "How can he look me right in the eye and lie?" (Substitute "she" for "he" as necessary.) Then, the people I talk to start making statements like the …

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To a sociopath, your pain and torment is their delight

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 52A:  The Tsunami Pounds Ashore My lawyer forwarded Paul’s official court documents to me, documents we needed to legalize our temporary financial agreement pending our divorce. I waited unt …

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When sociopaths use righteous indignation to exert control

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By Eleanor Cowan My husband liked to discuss discipline. The importance of it. The intrinsic value of restraining one’s impulses especially when such personal control would benefit the greater good of mankind. My two children and I’d eat dinner while listening to his serious value-driven talks about what would please God and advance the salvation of this sorry world. Sacrifice and service topped the list. Politeness and containment followed. It’s very hard to look back at those years of my disassociation – to calculate the degree of blindness and emotional paralysis that, unresolved, characterized my life since childhood in my first abusive family. I considered my husband to be a religio …

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Did football star and murderer Aaron Hernandez have a personality disorder or a brain injury?

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In 2013, Aaron Hernandez, the former standout tight end for the New England Patriots football team, was charged with murdering his friend. Hernandez had a history of violence and infractions with the law, so his behavior appeared to be that of a typical psychopath. For this reason, Lovefraud covered the story: Aaron Hernandez charged with murder; his cousin charged with contempt, on Lovefraud.com. Hernandez was found guilty of the murder on April 15, 2015 and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Two years later, at the age of 27, he hanged himself in prison. An examination of Hernandez' brain found that he suffered from CTE — chronic traumatic encephalopathy. It' …

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How being devastated by the sociopath helped me find love

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In the course of our two-and-a-half-year relationship, my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, took $227,000 from me, cheated with at least six women, had a child with one of the women, and then, 10 days after I left him, married the mother of the child. It was the second time he committed bigamy. Once I learned the truth about his behavior, and realized the depth of his deception, I was totally, completely, crushed. But if I hadn't been shattered by the sociopath, I would not have been able to love as I do now. Is your reaction, "huh?" Let me repeat. It was my experience with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, that actually enabled me to find the love I always …

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