Like many of us here at Lovefraud, the author of this book thought she met her soul mate. He swept into her life, showered her with attention and affection, and, once she accepted his lavish but far-too-quick marriage proposal, quickly set out to use her, and then destroy her.
The cover of this book lists the author as “Noelle R. Andrews,” but that’s a pseudonym. She wanted to protect her family and her career—she works as a radiologist. The perpetrator isn’t identified either—his fake name is Adrian Mammon. This man worked—when he bothered to work—impersonating a famous, now aging, rock star. He treated his gigs as paid opportunities to get drunk and behave obnoxiously. When he wasn’t working, he got drunk and behaved obnoxiously anyway.
Of course, Noelle didn’t know this when she married Adrian—she was caught up in the fantasy that he created. Shortly after their marriage, however, the bad behavior started. But, like all of us, she thought the drunken outbursts were anomalies. She didn’t realize they were glimpses of her husband’s true character.
Noelle didn’t kick him to the curb at the first sign of trouble, and many of us can probably understand why:
I stayed with him longer than I should have because I was too stubborn to admit defeat. To do so would have been to admit that I had made a monumental error. I would be forced to admit that he in all probability never loved me, which was more difficult still for me to acknowledge. I did not want to believe that I had been so ruthlessly misused and manipulated into a one-sided marriage, loveless on his part.
So Adrian spent Noelle’s money like water, without contributing to household finances himself. He had no interest in being a stepfather to her sons. But he did conspire with his teenaged daughter to get full custody, probably to spite the girl’s mother. Because of the plot Adrian and his daughter hatched, the sheriff showed up at Noelle’s house. Adrian screamed, “I have a gun!” The sheriff called for backup. After a dramatic confrontation, the rock star impersonator was arrested.
That incident, 16 months after their wedding, was the beginning of the end for Noelle. Or so she thought. Because then the real truth came out: Adrian’s intention was to bleed as much money as he could from her physician’s salary, and he would do whatever it took, including filing false reports to threaten her license, in order to maximize the exploitation.
Not wanting to jeopardize her career, Noelle knew that she wanted to settle the case quickly. She was willing to pay her husband far more than he deserved after a 16-month marriage, simply to go away.
Then she had another rude awakening—her own attorney also intended to milk her. He didn’t follow her instructions to settle. He dragged his feet. Noelle writes about the attorney:
At one point he asked me how much money I had left in my savings account, and told me: “Yeah, that should get you through the trial.”
Finally, Noelle changed attorneys. Then the local court would not allow a continuance so her new lawyer could prepare her case. So she was forced to withdraw her divorce complaint, which meant she had to continue to pay her husband an outrageous amount of spousal support.
In the end, the divorce was longer than the marriage. It cost Noelle more than $250,000 to get rid of Adrian Mammon—more than he ever made as a rock star impersonator.
The Aftermath of Rock ‘n’ Roll is a cautionary tale. If you’ve tangled with a sociopath yourself, you’ll recognize Adrian’s manipulation and Noelle’s confusion. You will be validated—anyone can fall for the charade, even a smart, successful doctor.
If you haven’t personally been involved with a sociopath, count your blessings—and learn the warning signs. These relationships always end badly, although not necessarily for the perpetrator.
Aftermath of Rock ‘n’ Roll is available at Amazon.com.