by AlohaTraveler Today, July 3, is a significant day for me. On this day, three years ago, I left the Bad Man. Let's take stock of that moment in time: Total cash = $700 Debt = at least $16,000 Job = None Place to live, bed to sleep in, a clue = No Plan = None Me = A total wreck. Between May of 2005, when I moved in with the Bad Man, and May of 2007, I have moved 10 times. This includes one move back to the islands in September 2005 and then back to California again on November 29, 2005. My car has 7,200 nautical miles on it and it shows. It looks like it's eating itself. Cars aren't meant to go to sea and mine crossed the ocean three times between July 3, …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I met another sociopath on MillionaireMatch.com
Editor's note: Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader. I went on a date last night with a man I met on MillionaireMatch.com. Looked great on paper. His photograph was so-so and I didn't expect much. We met at a restaurant and when he walked in I thought to myself, "Oh that's not him; he's too good looking." Well it turned out to be him. We introduced, started talking and he teased me, and asked if I was buying dinner. That was my first red flag. Why would a proclaimed millionaire ask me to pay? I thought perhaps he was screening out gold diggers. We never left the bar nor had dinner, although he paid for an appetizer and drink. He talked about his life …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Once upon a time, I would do anything for love, but not anymore
Editor's note: This essay was submitted to the Lovefraud Blog by a reader who comments as "AlohaTraveler." I have thought about this for a long time. I have decided I am not going to tell you my story, at least not today. I have read the stories of other contributors and even more of visitors who have just discovered this site and posted their story in the blog comments. Believe me, I understand the need to tell someone what he/she did to you and your life. You just want someone to understand, because you don't. You don't understand why he did what he did. But worse, you don't understand why you let it happen or why you tolerated the intolerable far beyond reason. You don't know why you …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFAUD: How do you fight against this type of person?
Many people write to Lovefraud seeking advice for the situations they find themselves in due to a sociopath. I do my best to help, but sometimes the sociopath has created so much trauma that I feel like my suggestions are inadequate. Reproduced below is an e-mail exchange between a woman who faces a nearly impossible situation—we'll call her Theresa—and myself. If you have any suggestions that may help her, please post them in a comment. Theresa's first letter When I met my husband he was divorced (three times) and had joint custody of his biological son and stepdaughter. At the time it appeared as though he was this loving and caring dad, and he was so convincing that I was the one per …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This is not love, but poison
Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a reader to Lovefraud. It is posted with the permission of the author. After dating Charles for a year (“the four seasons” — a term he used often in our relationship and his simultaneous relationship with Sue, it was the marker of when we would marry), I got the answer I was looking for. I had added “Family Locator Service” to my cell phone, placed my extra phone is his car and waited until 4 a.m. to have the nerve to do the fatal search. There it was in black and white — my worst fears are true. He was living with another woman. Her name is Sue, widow and mother of two children almost the same age as my own. Another family in the making less …