Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

After divorcing one diagnosed narcissist, marrying another one

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Cathy19. Names have been changed.

To start my ex husband was clinically diagnosed as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) with sociopath tendencies and OCD (random I know but wanted to be thorough). I had five years of marriage and two kids with him. Almost ten years later I’m still dealing with him but distance between us geographically has helped.

On the downside I remarried, which is how the geographical divide came about. After six months in court being attacked from all angles by the ex in an effort to stop the move, it turns out the good guy I thought I knew and had now married…was … Read more

My ex-husband is a sociopath, and this cannot be fixed

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Lisa19.”

We met at my best friend’s 5-year wedding anniversary party. He was a friend of her husband. She is a trust fund kid, and worth multi-millions. My ex had clearly come especially to that party in New York, from his home in Virginia, to find his next target, while still technically married to his 2nd wife.

I was “the best friend,” who happened to be single. He was charming in the extreme and I practically fell in love with him that night. He sunk his claws in exactly on purpose.

We had a 1 year long-distance relationship which consisted primarily of him visiting me … Read more

He was dating a female sociopath – no wonder he is confused

letter to lovefraudEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Anthony19.”

I’m very unsure still about what I experienced. Maybe it was nothing but a typical relationship. I did talk with a therapist that I believed specialized in emotional abuse, and she told me she believes I have an anxious attachment issue. I also talked with one other therapist that turned me on to gaslighting, which I had never heard of before and that is how this whole thing got started. My childhood friend is a therapist and he verified some of the things I’ve been reading about and thinking, however after the last visit to this therapist that mentioned anxious attachment issues, I’m feeling … Read more

The narcissist discarded me every year for 11 years

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Angie19.”

I was involved with my narcissist for a little more than 11 years, for which 4-6 months out of each year he would discard me.

The process would start out with him giving me enough rope to hang myself by pushing the buttons he knew would get me to say something he could later use to “play victim” and claim “it always comes back to this” or “why, every time, do we have to go thru this.” It would be followed up with the standard guilt trip, topped off by demeaning me, which he was very good at doing. He had a talent to … Read more

Why can’t I leave? 5 years with a malignant narcissist

letter to lovefraudI was in a 5 year relationship with a malignant narc.  When I first laid eyes on him, I was infatuated!! But he was married, and I don’t mess with married men.  

A few years later I ran into him and he was single, so I asked him out and the rest is history. Our first date he took me to a party in the middle of nowhere, and left me sit there all night by myself.  I should have run at that moment and never looked back. Then we went back to his house and had sex, yes on the first date!!! A few weeks later, he made it official that we were a couple, and I Read more

Letter to a sociopathic ex: You ruined me

letter to lovefraudEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Claudette19.”

I hope this letter explains to you all what I have been through and how I am still trying to recover from the impact.

Dear ex

Only by staying away from you did I begin to see your destructiveness and I had to detox from your trauma. For almost 4 years you projected all your anger from your past/present onto me. You did this by calling me a c**t b**h, throwing things at me, charging at me, hurting me, threatening to kill yourself, bullying me and breaking things. You were unpleasant, manipulative and you constantly lied to me. You told me you were the Read more

My husband’s sex addiction was just the beginning of his disorder

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Marguerite2018.”

I spent over half my life with my now ex-husband. What I’m about to share is a glimpse, as I’m sure is the case for so many of us that have stories upon stories to share of the surreal experiences that we endured with our abusers.

During the course of our relationship, from time to time, I became aware of what I believed was periodic cheating or affairs. We had been through marriage counseling a few times & after each incident, I forgave & assumed it was behind us. In between incidents, there was evidence of heavy porn use. He always hid these things … Read more

My psychopath boyfriend stole all my money, bought a sailboat and tried to have me committed

My experience with a sociopathEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “Lillian.”

I met him online. Dated casually for a year, during which time I met his sister who grows fruit & is married to a well-known doctor. I met his other sister who is a judge. I got to know his 21-year-old son who was graduating from college & gave him a job for a summer. I met his ex-wife. I met a childhood friend of his. He showed me portfolios of the homes he built or remodeled, I met a couple of his clients, & he drove me past a few homes.

The next year we dated regularly & traveled all over the world. … Read more

The sociopath led a double life and stopped paying the bills

Spath TalesEditor’s note: The Lovefraud reader who posts as “raisingtwins” sent the following story.

When I met my sociopath, he was good looking, fit, charismatic and career driven. In 2002, I moved across the country with him, since he was transferred back to an office with the company he worked for. We had a baby together in 2003 and he wanted nothing to do with getting married. I should have seen that as a giant red flag. He threw lavish parties for his work team and worked long hours.

We married in 2005 and his behavior was always very erratic. His weight went up and down and his episodes of anger started getting progressively worse. It was a life … Read more

My husband was leading a double life of prostitutes and strippers

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Arlene18.

I have been married to him for 29+ years and we have three grown sons, who are all still in school. In Sept. 2016, I discovered he was leading a double life filled with prostitutes and stripper girlfriends. He admits to doing this for over 20 years, though it is probably longer than that.

He made the boys take out student loans, and said we didn’t have enough money to replace my decrepit old car — while spending insane amounts of money on his girlfriends in order to make them like him.

Through the discovery, I tried having him in therapy to see if … Read more

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