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Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

My sociopathic partner: Once the smoke begins to clear…

Women sunset silhouette

Chapter 1-wow!  You’re an amazing guy!

It all began innocently…my daughter’s halloween party invite which happened to include an invite of his daughter too. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the horror insanity and chaos we were about to embark on.

He never had those feelings for me — it was all a lie, an act

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Cecilia18.”

I didn’t marry “my” sociopath. I didn’t live with him. I didn’t have children with him. I’m not even sure you could call what passed for a relationship “dating.” Nevertheless, he messed up my life for several years.

I’ll call him John. He was a local radio host, and I was a fan. I enjoyed listening to him banter with his producer/on-air sidekick and with his wife when she called in. Looking back, I don’t know why I liked him so much. He made a lot of jokes at the expense of others, including minorities and seniors. This is not my thing at all! But there was something about him: He was witty and clever and charismatic. I remember thinking he would be so much fun to hang out with – not just him, but his wife, too.

I almost married a sociopath, and to this day I don’t know what his motives were

Spath TalesEditor’s note: This story was written by the Lovefraud reader, “marinapearl.”

I almost married a sociopath. He seemed like my perfect match at first: kind, funny, generous, respectful. We had everything in common. We moved much more quickly than I would have thought possible for me, as I am usually very cautious, but this was unlike any relationship I’d ever had. We were “soulmates,” “meant to be.”

Before long we were engaged. Everything was going well, except for when we would argue. Every time we had the slightest disagreement, he would have a meltdown. Nothing was ever his fault, and he always managed to make me feel bad for saying anything. I just thought he was really sensitive, but it concerned me that nothing ever got resolved.

Living with a Sociopath

Well where do I start? I guess right from the beginning.

1999

I was 31 when I met the most handsome charming man in the world, I had travelled well, I used to be a holiday rep abroad, so I thought I was a pretty good judge of character……..

I met him on a night out with friends, on a Saturday Night, we talked all night long, I even went back to his place (no funny business) and we talked all night there too!!

After the sociopath: Courage is fear that said its prayers

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Carol18.”

I’m a 62-year-old woman who left a sociopath husband three years ago. I went online to meet who I thought was my dream man. He was charming; the second date he said I will treat you like no other man has ever treated you before. That was the only true thing he ever said to me.

He was romantic my Prince Charming, bought flowers, cards. Then after I fell in love, he tells me he had cancer, had a job as a cook (profile said chef) and financially secure.

10 years of hope and heartbreak with a sociopathic woman, Part 3

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Trevor.” Read Part 1 and Part 2.

10 years of hope and heartbreak with a sociopathic woman, Part 2

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Trevor.” Read Part 1. Part 3 will be published tomorrow.

10 years of hope and heartbreak with a sociopathic woman, Part 1

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Trevor.” This is Part 1 of 3. Part 2 will be published tomorrow.

I became involved over 10 years ago. We met while on a wine tour, she was with another man and he was with her on this tour. She approached me at the bar, asked me where my girlfriend was. I told her I didn’t have one at the time and asked her where the boyfriend was. She replied, I sent him to the bus so I could talk to you. I made an excuse to leave and did my best to ignore it the rest of the night. A few weeks later at a wedding reception I see her again. She’s a very beautiful woman and was dressed to kill.

Language habits to help me remember that my ex was abnormal

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Three years ago, Lovefraud posted a story that we received from a reader whom we called, “Maura.” Read it here: “After 30 years with a sociopath, she’s now having the time of her life.”  Maura is now about 70 years old and just sent Lovefraud an update. She included one of her recovery strategies, which she was graciously willing to share with Lovefraud readers.

I wanted you to know that I gave up on “being friends” with the ex, and on trying to rescue the other victim (the main one; I’m sure there were others I did not know about).

He got everything he could from me, and then discarded me

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Emilie18.”

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