Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

When your daughter is in a relationship with a psychopath

Editor’s note: The following was posted in the Lovefraud Forum by the reader “freedomformydaughter.” This article is so poignant and insightful I wanted everyone to see it.

Lovefraud reader writes: ‘I hate holidays with a narcissist’

Editor’s note: A young reader has contacted Lovefraud on several occasions. She has realized that her father is disordered, which set her up to meet several disordered boyfriends. I used one of her letters in a video — you can see it here: “How do I avoid dating a sociopath like my father?”

This reader writes:

I took your advice and stopped dealing with my father because he always has ill intentions.

I’m not sure if you recall the last time I spoke with him and saw him was over the summer of 2017. I will reiterate the story.

My uncle is a sociopath — how do I protect our family?

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call, “Trisha17.”

My uncle (mother’s side) is a sociopath. I’ve known since my first memory of him as a child, I just saw it in his mannerisms, heard it in his voice, saw it in his lack of genuine care for others. I just instinctually knew. I have always found him to be totally fake.

My father is a highly intelligent and relatively benign grandiose narcissist. I have narcissistic traits but am definitely an empath. I have clued in to sociopaths and have been taken aback that no one else sees it.

‘I Love You’ from the perspective of a narcissist

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Editor’s note: The following article was contributed by the Lovefraud reader “macus1529,” who has written in the Lovefraud Forum about her experience with a disordered relationship.

‘I love you’ are some of the most powerful words one person can say to another, and while their meaning is universal, sometimes the person saying them can’t grasp this meaning.

This letter is to the unfortunate many who have fallen in love with someone who will always love themselves more than they can love another. Written from the view of the narcissist hell bent on keeping that person under their thumb.

No matter what happens, my wife claims to be the victim

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Tyler17.”

My wife is the victim in every situation through her entire life. Even when someone jumped in front of the train I was driving, she was the victim because I changed.

She is the victim because to her porn is everywhere, and unless I look away, I condone it. My daughter bought the remake of the movie Point Break and the family watched it on night when I was at work. On my next off day she suggested we all watch it, but was angry with me and withheld her love (again) because she should not be expected to remember if a movie has porn, as I am responsible for averting my eyes. This pissed me off because I no longer have a safe space.

My experience with my narc ex boyfriend

Left my ex since almost 4 years now, the hell I went through with him, it’s a miracle I’m still here.

Even though I’ve left he still pops up here and there doing the hoovering manuever, which is well known for borderline narcs. He would use the silent treatment on me and it drove me crazy as at that time. I had no idea about the narcissistic personality disorder one can have.

The sociopath is a neighbor of a family member!! Ugh!!!!

First, I would like to say how beneficial reading the Lovefraud site has been. It has really pulled me through some rough moments of dealing with the sociopath that I was romantically linked to.

He and I were in a LDR relationship (or so I thought) for a year and a half. I knew something was off right away, but I thought it was fear of commitment on his part or depression. He did all of the textbook things a sociopath would do (before I knew what one was.) He blew hot and cold, would ignore me for weeks, try to make me jealous, disappear on special days even when I was in town, and so much more.The final straw was him ignoring me when I was in town and then basically inviting me over for a booty call. That is when I said no more. Well, his rage came out along with a horrendous discard.

The Swinging Female Psychopath And The Partner Left Behind: When The Fog Lifts

Well it has  been 7 months since our two an a half year “relationship” ended and I am still picking up the pieces.

I never ever could have imagined the rabbit hole I’d fallen into.

The things I now know have shocked and altered me to the core of my very being. It has been like unraveling the giant web of a black widow, one silky strand at a time.

When I met her I thought I had found love at first sight. The connection seemed electric, she was in my estimation perfect. My patchwork princess.

Escaping the sociopath and battling B.O.B.

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as “stopbuggingme.” After 25 years, she realized that her husband was a sociopath.

When my life fell apart a feeling arose that I really hadn’t felt before. Bitterness. I was becoming bitter. A bitter old b*tch. I called her Bob. It was like every time I opened my mouth Bob took over, spewing her bitterness everywhere! Even if I was just talking to myself, Bob would interrupt. She had to be stopped! Here are three things I used to keep Bob from living my life.

Laughter Yoga

I didn’t want to admit my husband was a sociopath; now I realize how blind I was

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as “rosered.”

Dear Donna,

I have been a follower of your website since  last year. That was when, after four years of mental anguish, trying to understand inexplicable behavior, praying for my children (and myself), financial crisis, and wondering what it was that I was doing so wrong, I finally left my husband.

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