Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

My emotionally abusive ex-wife almost caused me to commit suicide

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Andrew18.

My ex wife was emotionally abusive throughout marriage. She had female “friends” throughout marriage of 21 yrs. Every weekend she went out with them and left me to watch kids. Played mind games of saying I should discipline kids but when I did she would overrule it and let kids off every time. She loved humiliating me in front of others by saying how she almost left me after our first born because she didn’t need me but decided to stay for our child. Love was a carrot to dangle in front of me. Be a better husband and maybe she would not be mean to me. She regularly would slap my arm or leg if she didn’t like something I said or did.

My ex wants to eliminate me from my son’s life

Spath TalesEditors note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “momto4kiddos.”

I dated my psychopath for almost 3 years. He manipulated me into having a child with him. My son is now 5 years old.

I battled at court with him for 4 years now. He retained an attorney as ruthless as he is to obtain custody and put him on a path to totally eliminate me from my son’s life, including trying to put me in jail. He even filed bogus reports with CPS to have my then-boyfriend ordered out of my son’s life.

At the end of our honeymoon, he FLIPPED into a different person

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “EllenMarie.”

I met a covert malignant narcissist on an online dating site. I had no idea such people existed.

I had lost my wonderful husband of almost 30 years to cancer 4 years previously. We’d had a terrific, healthy relationship, and I wanted another one. I have two master’s degrees, one in psychiatric social work, and have always considered myself very intuitive and a good judge of character. Not this time!!

I am overwhelmed with PTSD, stress, anxiety, fear, loss, betrayal and trying to save myself

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Catherine18.” Other names have been changed.

I am writing this after a pretty hard day. I have them a lot these days. I’ve made it a habit to tell people that I’m fine or ok. Before that, before everyone knew what happened, I just smiled, laughed and was a pretend version of myself so that I wouldn’t let on what I was suffering. I learned to protect the person hurting me from my mother’s abuse of me. I am 42, and I have never not been abused. Ever. I’m now being honest. I am saying I’m not ok. People don’t help you when you finally get honest. I have been betrayed, abandoned, pitied and had people talk behind my back because I’m being honest.

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Donna Andersen being interviewed for the TV show, ‘Who the Bleep Did I Marry?’

Lovefraud’s primary goal is to educate the public about sociopaths. One of the most powerful ways to do that is for people like you to tell your story.

Many Lovefraud readers have told me that reading about the experiences of others on Lovefraud is incredibly validating. They learn that no, they aren’t crazy — others have been through the same madness.

Would you like to share your story? If so, please complete the Lovefraud Media Survey.

She was diagnosed as bipolar, but she is definitely personality disordered

Spath TalesLovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Kenny18.”

I was targeted, lied to about her past regarding previous relationships, she contacted me while she was dating someone else, I was love bombed, she moved in, tried to isolate me from my friends and family, she was rude to my family, she was verbally and physically abusive to me, she told me on multiple occasions that she hated her 8-year-old son and wished she never had him, in earshot of him, she vandalized my truck, the list goes on.

After the Narcissist, You Will Recover

“A Narcissist doesn’t just break your heart, they break your spirit….that’s why it takes so long to heal.” — narcissist_survivor

After experiencing and living through emotional abuse and trauma, there are days where you will feel like you can’t move forward, where you feel worthless, where nothing matters anymore…..but I am here to tell you recovery IS possible.

Right after the truth was revealed and after my relationship with my abuser ended, I was shocked, devastated, and a reeling mess. There were so many emotions that I would transition to, from hour to hour….for months. I couldn’t believe my reality or even comprehend that I had been taken to this place of depression and self-destruction. I suffered from severe depression and anxiety as a result of the abuse.

Am I a sociopath magnet?

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we’ll call “Kristinan32.” Donna Andersen responds at the end of it.

I’ve had a long history with NPDs and Sociopaths. Am I some sort of magnet?

I am a caring individual, rescue animals, take care of people. Go figure. My daughter’s father was one, the last guy I was with was one, up until he died.

Two years later, I decided I’ve ‘healed’ somewhat after everything, and I see my old friend’s brother on a social media site. I never really knew him, so I contacted him, out of the blue. So, we hit it off fast. This is unlike me, I don’t take things fast. We talk, we get along, everything’s fun and good.

My sociopathic partner: Once the smoke begins to clear…

Chapter 1-wow!  You’re an amazing guy!

It all began innocently…my daughter’s halloween party invite which happened to include an invite of his daughter too. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the horror insanity and chaos we were about to embark on.

He never had those feelings for me — it was all a lie, an act

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Cecilia18.”

I didn’t marry “my” sociopath. I didn’t live with him. I didn’t have children with him. I’m not even sure you could call what passed for a relationship “dating.” Nevertheless, he messed up my life for several years.

I’ll call him John. He was a local radio host, and I was a fan. I enjoyed listening to him banter with his producer/on-air sidekick and with his wife when she called in. Looking back, I don’t know why I liked him so much. He made a lot of jokes at the expense of others, including minorities and seniors. This is not my thing at all! But there was something about him: He was witty and clever and charismatic. I remember thinking he would be so much fun to hang out with – not just him, but his wife, too.

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