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Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

Letter to a sociopathic ex: You ruined me

letter to lovefraudEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Claudette19.”

I hope this letter explains to you all what I have been through and how I am still trying to recover from the impact.

Dear ex

Only by staying away from you did I begin to see your destructiveness and I had to detox from your trauma. For almost 4 years you projected all your anger from your past/present onto me. You did this by calling me a c**t b**h, throwing things at me, charging at me, hurting me, threatening to kill yourself, bullying me and breaking things. You were unpleasant, manipulative and you constantly lied to me. You told me you were the Read more

My husband’s sex addiction was just the beginning of his disorder

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Marguerite2018.”

I spent over half my life with my now ex-husband. What I’m about to share is a glimpse, as I’m sure is the case for so many of us that have stories upon stories to share of the surreal experiences that we endured with our abusers.

During the course of our relationship, from time to time, I became aware of what I believed was periodic cheating or affairs. We had been through marriage counseling a few times & after each incident, I forgave & assumed it was behind us. In between incidents, there was evidence of heavy porn use. He always hid these things … Read more

My psychopath boyfriend stole all my money, bought a sailboat and tried to have me committed

My experience with a sociopathEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “Lillian.”

I met him online. Dated casually for a year, during which time I met his sister who grows fruit & is married to a well-known doctor. I met his other sister who is a judge. I got to know his 21-year-old son who was graduating from college & gave him a job for a summer. I met his ex-wife. I met a childhood friend of his. He showed me portfolios of the homes he built or remodeled, I met a couple of his clients, & he drove me past a few homes.

The next year we dated regularly & traveled all over the world. … Read more

The sociopath led a double life and stopped paying the bills

Spath TalesEditor’s note: The Lovefraud reader who posts as “raisingtwins” sent the following story.

When I met my sociopath, he was good looking, fit, charismatic and career driven. In 2002, I moved across the country with him, since he was transferred back to an office with the company he worked for. We had a baby together in 2003 and he wanted nothing to do with getting married. I should have seen that as a giant red flag. He threw lavish parties for his work team and worked long hours.

We married in 2005 and his behavior was always very erratic. His weight went up and down and his episodes of anger started getting progressively worse. It was a life … Read more

My husband was leading a double life of prostitutes and strippers

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Arlene18.

I have been married to him for 29+ years and we have three grown sons, who are all still in school. In Sept. 2016, I discovered he was leading a double life filled with prostitutes and stripper girlfriends. He admits to doing this for over 20 years, though it is probably longer than that.

He made the boys take out student loans, and said we didn’t have enough money to replace my decrepit old car — while spending insane amounts of money on his girlfriends in order to make them like him.

Through the discovery, I tried having him in therapy to see if … Read more

My emotionally abusive ex-wife almost caused me to commit suicide

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Andrew18.

My ex wife was emotionally abusive throughout marriage. She had female “friends” throughout marriage of 21 yrs. Every weekend she went out with them and left me to watch kids. Played mind games of saying I should discipline kids but when I did she would overrule it and let kids off every time. She loved humiliating me in front of others by saying how she almost left me after our first born because she didn’t need me but decided to stay for our child. Love was a carrot to dangle in front of me. Be a better husband and maybe she would not be … Read more

My ex wants to eliminate me from my son’s life

Spath TalesEditors note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “momto4kiddos.”

I dated my psychopath for almost 3 years. He manipulated me into having a child with him. My son is now 5 years old.

I battled at court with him for 4 years now. He retained an attorney as ruthless as he is to obtain custody and put him on a path to totally eliminate me from my son’s life, including trying to put me in jail. He even filed bogus reports with CPS to have my then-boyfriend ordered out of my son’s life.

My psycho took his truck door and slammed it in my son’s head causing head trauma and concussion and blamed … Read more

At the end of our honeymoon, he FLIPPED into a different person

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “EllenMarie.”

I met a covert malignant narcissist on an online dating site. I had no idea such people existed.

I had lost my wonderful husband of almost 30 years to cancer 4 years previously. We’d had a terrific, healthy relationship, and I wanted another one. I have two master’s degrees, one in psychiatric social work, and have always considered myself very intuitive and a good judge of character. Not this time!!

I met the narcissist on Feb 3, 2017, and was thoroughly love bombed for 5 months. He proposed after 6 weeks, and we were married on June 30, 2017. I saw no red flags. … Read more

I am overwhelmed with PTSD, stress, anxiety, fear, loss, betrayal and trying to save myself

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Catherine18.” Other names have been changed.

I am writing this after a pretty hard day. I have them a lot these days. I’ve made it a habit to tell people that I’m fine or ok. Before that, before everyone knew what happened, I just smiled, laughed and was a pretend version of myself so that I wouldn’t let on what I was suffering. I learned to protect the person hurting me from my mother’s abuse of me. I am 42, and I have never not been abused. Ever. I’m now being honest. I am saying I’m not ok. People don’t help you when you finally … Read more

Do you want to tell your story? Complete the Lovefraud Media survey!

Donna Andersen being interviewed for the TV show, ‘Who the Bleep Did I Marry?’

Lovefraud’s primary goal is to educate the public about sociopaths. One of the most powerful ways to do that is for people like you to tell your story.

Many Lovefraud readers have told me that reading about the experiences of others on Lovefraud is incredibly validating. They learn that no, they aren’t crazy — others have been through the same madness.

Would you like to share your story? If so, please complete the Lovefraud Media Survey.

Your story may be chosen to be published on Lovefraud as a “Spath Tale” — these stories are always posted anonymously — without any identifying information.

Lovefraud also … Read more

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