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Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

Beautiful Liar — I confronted him with screenshots and he denied it all

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as “miaxo.” Names have been changed.

Three years wasted. I met my ex 4 years ago. At a friend’s house. I wasn’t into him or attracted to him. But grew to be friends with him.

A year later I get a text from him saying he likes me and wants to take me on a date. I was so tired of dealing with disappointment after disappointment from the dating scene so I took his offer. He took me to the movies, was attentive and the night went well.

Does he sound like a full-blown narcissist and/or sociopath? Or maybe some form of borderline personality disorder?

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “bonnie2017.” Donna Andersen responds to her questions at the end of the letter. Names have been changed.

Following my most recent life-shattering break-up 4 weeks ago, I happened upon your website, lovefraud.com, and found it extremely helpful and insightful! I first wanted to thank you for all the invaluable information you provide. I also wanted to tell you my sad story about my almost-baby-daddy and get your feedback. Maybe it can help others too.

We are in counseling, and his objective is to get the counselor to fix me

Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Shoni.”

I am just starting to believe my husband of 12 yrs may be a sociopath.

I had the house, the car, the job when we met. He was new to the area going through a divorce from his Canadian wife.

He was intelligent, charming, attentive, talkative, fun. Seemingly enjoyed church and a relationship with God. Never missed a Sunday.

Now he calls himself a prophet.

He reported my stepsister to the Fraud dept of IRS hoping to collect 10% recovery fee. He said God told him to do it.

Despite the ocean between us, he controlled my every move

Spath TalesLovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Larissa.”

I met him while I was traveling through India. We crossed paths twice within an hour and chatted at the seaside cafe where I had ordered a meal. He was very attractive, striking even – but I was not at all consciously interested in a romance with this guy. I had encountered quite a lot of lechery as a woman traveling alone, although he seemed different. Gentle. Interesting. He seemed very savvy and initially, even slightly aloof to the point of seeming guarded around me. Polar opposite to what I had been experiencing!

He lied up until the last minute of our relationship

 

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Claudette.”

Met online. He was a perfect gentleman. We had several dates until he started talking about mind, body and spirit (which meant sex to him) and I mentioned I do not have sex just to be having sex. That night he says let’s be boyfriend and girlfriend. So we did become BF and GF.

I assumed (stupid me) that he would take his dating profile down since now in a committed relationship. I took mine down and never looked again, until one day my GF called me and told me that she was just matched (online dating site) with him. AND that he was currently online searching.

The Truth Is Always in Plain Sight

By Waleuska Lazo

I thought I had found my Prince Charming. I thought I had found the one to share the rest of my life with. Four years later I have nothing to show, but a bleeding heart and a broken fairy tale.

Looking back, I can see, the red flags were in plain sight. Yet, I chose to ignore them. I hope that my story can help you open your eyes, and see the warnings so you do not make the mistakes I made.

My wife was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, delusional disorder, and schizophrenia, but I wouldn’t change a thing

Lovefraud received the following letter from a man who posts under the name of “outvth3fog.”

I thought my past 12 years with my 10 year old son’s mother was bad. Well, anyone’s worst nightmare became reality in March of 2016.

Rewind to summer 2015, to when I had that gut feeling that I was being wronged by her.

I didn’t understand things then the way I do now, but she would accuse me of having affairs without having anything to make her think that. It made me suspicious of her, especially when she would demand my phone after getting out of work, which I willing gave it to her.

She presented as a sweet person with good manners, but she was a covert narcissist

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we’ll call “Georgia.”

My story is three years in a same-gender relationship that began with off-the-charts chemistry. At 6 months the love bombing stopped and things slowly changed.

In my personal experience there is a ‘lesbian disadvantage’ in the narc world because both these relationships often contain 4 of the most common traits;

(a) lesbian bed-death at 3-6 months (same as the end of the love bombing),
(b) self centered in nature,
(c) moves the relationship to intimacy very quickly.
(d) promiscuous behaviour & cheating.

No matter what they say, sociopaths only want power, control and sex

LETTERS LOGO 2Two Letters to Lovefraud both had the same theme: Sociopathic men who relentlessly pursued women, proclaiming their love, making glowing promises of a committed relationship. The men pushed for sex, and although the women resisted, eventually, believing they were involved in real romances, the women succumbed to the men’s physical desires. With that, both women were dumped.

Read the letters here:

I met him on Facebook, was used for sex and dumped the next day

I felt bonded, even though this made me nauseated

How do I recover from a manipulative friendship?

LETTERS LOGO 2Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Lois.”

I have no one to turn to, as I have never spoken to anyone regarding my friendship with the narcissist apart from the narc, which suited him perfectly.

This friendship was in person but I live in a different city so it was mostly on the phone and a few face to face meetings during the year. However, I was also dropped and put in the box as needed, and picked up as soon as he would leave his families’ or friends’ home and work. And I had to be there when he was ready to make contact. However, the same did not apply to him. Many times when I needed to lean on him he was not contactable.

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