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Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

My experience with my narc ex boyfriend

Left my ex since almost 4 years now, the hell I went through with him, it’s a miracle I’m still here.

Even though I’ve left he still pops up here and there doing the hoovering manuever, which is well known for borderline narcs. He would use the silent treatment on me and it drove me crazy as at that time. I had no idea about the narcissistic personality disorder one can have.

The sociopath is a neighbor of a family member!! Ugh!!!!

First, I would like to say how beneficial reading the Lovefraud site has been. It has really pulled me through some rough moments of dealing with the sociopath that I was romantically linked to.

He and I were in a LDR relationship (or so I thought) for a year and a half. I knew something was off right away, but I thought it was fear of commitment on his part or depression. He did all of the textbook things a sociopath would do (before I knew what one was.) He blew hot and cold, would ignore me for weeks, try to make me jealous, disappear on special days even when I was in town, and so much more.The final straw was him ignoring me when I was in town and then basically inviting me over for a booty call. That is when I said no more. Well, his rage came out along with a horrendous discard.

The Swinging Female Psychopath And The Partner Left Behind: When The Fog Lifts

Well it has  been 7 months since our two an a half year “relationship” ended and I am still picking up the pieces.

I never ever could have imagined the rabbit hole I’d fallen into.

The things I now know have shocked and altered me to the core of my very being. It has been like unraveling the giant web of a black widow, one silky strand at a time.

When I met her I thought I had found love at first sight. The connection seemed electric, she was in my estimation perfect. My patchwork princess.

Escaping the sociopath and battling B.O.B.

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as “stopbuggingme.” After 25 years, she realized that her husband was a sociopath.

When my life fell apart a feeling arose that I really hadn’t felt before. Bitterness. I was becoming bitter. A bitter old b*tch. I called her Bob. It was like every time I opened my mouth Bob took over, spewing her bitterness everywhere! Even if I was just talking to myself, Bob would interrupt. She had to be stopped! Here are three things I used to keep Bob from living my life.

Laughter Yoga

I didn’t want to admit my husband was a sociopath; now I realize how blind I was

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as “rosered.”

Dear Donna,

I have been a follower of your website since  last year. That was when, after four years of mental anguish, trying to understand inexplicable behavior, praying for my children (and myself), financial crisis, and wondering what it was that I was doing so wrong, I finally left my husband.

I am trying to remember who I was before he decimated me

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “msescue.”

I was married to a narcissist for 10 years and we had one daughter together. He was 4 years younger than me, had never been married and was a cute nervous wreck when we went out. It made me feel beautiful and empowered that at nearly 30 years old, I was able to attract a younger man who was NERVOUS to meet me.

Beautiful Liar — I confronted him with screenshots and he denied it all

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as “miaxo.” Names have been changed.

Three years wasted. I met my ex 4 years ago. At a friend’s house. I wasn’t into him or attracted to him. But grew to be friends with him.

A year later I get a text from him saying he likes me and wants to take me on a date. I was so tired of dealing with disappointment after disappointment from the dating scene so I took his offer. He took me to the movies, was attentive and the night went well.

Does he sound like a full-blown narcissist and/or sociopath? Or maybe some form of borderline personality disorder?

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “bonnie2017.” Donna Andersen responds to her questions at the end of the letter. Names have been changed.

Following my most recent life-shattering break-up 4 weeks ago, I happened upon your website, lovefraud.com, and found it extremely helpful and insightful! I first wanted to thank you for all the invaluable information you provide. I also wanted to tell you my sad story about my almost-baby-daddy and get your feedback. Maybe it can help others too.

We are in counseling, and his objective is to get the counselor to fix me

Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Shoni.”

I am just starting to believe my husband of 12 yrs may be a sociopath.

I had the house, the car, the job when we met. He was new to the area going through a divorce from his Canadian wife.

He was intelligent, charming, attentive, talkative, fun. Seemingly enjoyed church and a relationship with God. Never missed a Sunday.

Now he calls himself a prophet.

He reported my stepsister to the Fraud dept of IRS hoping to collect 10% recovery fee. He said God told him to do it.

Despite the ocean between us, he controlled my every move

Spath TalesLovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Larissa.”

I met him while I was traveling through India. We crossed paths twice within an hour and chatted at the seaside cafe where I had ordered a meal. He was very attractive, striking even – but I was not at all consciously interested in a romance with this guy. I had encountered quite a lot of lechery as a woman traveling alone, although he seemed different. Gentle. Interesting. He seemed very savvy and initially, even slightly aloof to the point of seeming guarded around me. Polar opposite to what I had been experiencing!

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