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Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

No matter what they say, sociopaths only want power, control and sex

LETTERS LOGO 2Two Letters to Lovefraud both had the same theme: Sociopathic men who relentlessly pursued women, proclaiming their love, making glowing promises of a committed relationship. The men pushed for sex, and although the women resisted, eventually, believing they were involved in real romances, the women succumbed to the men’s physical desires. With that, both women were dumped.

Read the letters here:

I met him on Facebook, was used for sex and dumped the next day

I felt bonded, even though this made me nauseated

How do I recover from a manipulative friendship?

LETTERS LOGO 2Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Lois.”

I have no one to turn to, as I have never spoken to anyone regarding my friendship with the narcissist apart from the narc, which suited him perfectly.

This friendship was in person but I live in a different city so it was mostly on the phone and a few face to face meetings during the year. However, I was also dropped and put in the box as needed, and picked up as soon as he would leave his families’ or friends’ home and work. And I had to be there when he was ready to make contact. However, the same did not apply to him. Many times when I needed to lean on him he was not contactable.

Before I felt angry, now I feel sad – I need advice

LETTERS LOGO 2Editor’s notes: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as “Kaki Pants.”

I just came out of a relationship, a year long relationship, which I think the guy might be a psychopath after telling the whole story to my male friends, female friends never would have thought he could be a psycho btw. Men and women think very differently.

So I met this guy a year ago, last April through an online dating app. We met for several times, dinners, lunches, coffees, I took it slow, cuz I didn’t want to get myself attached too soon before knowing who this guy really is. Obviously, I didn’t take it slow enough in the end.

The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 2)

LETTERS LOGO 2Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Celia.” Names have been changed. Read Part 1.

His home loan

Out of the blue one day, probably two weeks after I had arrived, he had me sit on his lap, and was stroking my arm lovingly. He casually asked if when my home sold, I could put the proceeds into his home loan. I got the strangest twinge of panic inside me, and asked him why I would do that. He immediately threw me off his lap and became tense and argumentative.

The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 1)

LETTERS LOGO 2Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Celia.” Names have been changed.

Hi Donna,

I have been reading your blog for a few years now and although I have not made myself visible, I have been active reading all the stories and advice you have shared with everyone. Your blog created an awareness within myself of just what I had encountered, and why I felt so traumatised during and after the relationship. There were times I could not bring myself to read some of the stories, as it brought back so much of the trauma I was wanting to suppress.

I continued to choose him over everyone and everything that ever mattered to me

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received this story from a reader whom we’ll call “Ellie.”

This is the story of how I allowed myself to become emotionally dismantled by the man to whom I chose to give my heart.

I loved him unconditionally. I accepted and forgave him without judgment. I empathized with stories of his childhood, when he felt unseen, unloved and insecure. I nurtured him through times of deep depression, drug abuse and alcoholism. I made excuse after excuse by rationalizing his behavior and convincing myself that I knew he could be more than what he was. I believed he could be the man I saw him to be, the man he wished he could be ”¦ I held on to hope that it would be ok, and that there wasn’t anything we couldn’t get through together.

Husband takes his new wife shopping on their honeymoon, buys her expensive gifts, and then she asks for divorce

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from an American man, whom we’ll call “Brad.” He met a Moroccan woman who lived in the U.K. We’ll call her “Fatima.”

Fatima and I had unforgettable memories, which would be the base of any marriage. We laughed, we joked, we traveled, we spent so much time together.

I took her with me to Morocco with our group going to Casablanca because I really liked her and wanted to spend time with her. We enjoyed lots of moments together, and she helped me with business, religion, and talked about all areas of life with me.

I will never forget how he looked at me – I felt I was standing in front of the devil

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman whom we’ll call Gemma, who lives in England. Names have been changed.

In August 2015 I was contacted on one of the pen pal websites by a guy named Brad, from a village in Michigan. Brad is a 35 year old veteran who works part time as a mechanic. He is also a village council trustee, with ambitions to become a village president one day.

We started talking on a daily basis, He was very charming and entertaining and seemed very reliable, always responding to my messages almost instantly.

I had $100,000 ready to be put into his hands

Spath TalesLovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Genevieve.”

I connected with a boyfriend I was engaged to when I was 17. We knew each other since we were about 11.

He called me after his 2nd marriage broke apart. I was married (and still am), and after getting reacquainted with him, fell back in love with him.

I had no intentions of this happening, but he was filling a void. It was the honeymoon stage, the reminiscing from our teen years, and everything I thought we had in common.

Reconnecting with my teen love, I was hooked — until he walked out

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we’ll call “JoLynn.”

I first dated my ex when I was 18. We split after 15 months but I was still in love with him many years later.

After a 22-year marriage, I found myself divorced. After a couple of casual boyfriends, I contacted my ex by carrying out an Internet search. I was just short of my 50th birthday.

He responded to my email and the relationship took off again, as if we had never been parted.

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