Explaining the sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 51C: The Earthquake Strikes I tried to fight the wave of despair cresting above me. I could not. Gravity won—it always does. Anguish and hopelessness pounded down, expelling the air from my lungs and the tone from my body. Yet, driven by the instincts of a mother bear protecting her cub, I pushed through the emotional train wreck and crafted a response to Paul’s email. As before, the i …

If the truth is inconvenient, sociopaths lie (with great calm and conviction)Read More

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 51B: The Earthquake Strikes Two weeks later, as Paul dropped Daniel and Jessica off at school after a mid-week overnight, Paul told them he had a girlfriend and that she was moving in. The moving van arrived from Chicago the next day, as did Linda Peters (the name from the UPS package), and her cat, Freedom. The cat’s name struck me as ironic, because anyone involved with Paul was d …

Using “projection,” Sociopaths accuse you of being manipulative and unethical, while they play the saint or victimRead More

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 50B: Oh My GOD!  Hoping against hope that Paul had only used her for phone sex, I checked our bank statements. What were the odds? On the exact same day as the escort charge on our credit card, Paul had made a withdrawal at an ATM in Chicago. From deep inside, my body released a primal, guttural scream. My knees buckled. I dropped to the floor in a heap of disbelief and tears. I he …

With no empathy and ethics, a sociopath’s capacity for deception and betrayal is limitlessRead More

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 50A: Oh My GOD!  On my lawyer’s advice, I called all the locksmiths in the area, and they agreed to refuse Paul entry to the house without my consent. Fortunately, the threat of me moving out with the kids and incurring the rent of an additional apartment big enough for two kids, two dogs, and me had worked. Paul never moved back into the house. At one of my early meetings with …

A sociopath’s capacity for deception and betrayal is almost unfathomableRead More

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 49B:  Clarity And Its Consequences With each interaction with Paul, each toxic email, each review of my scary financial situation, each new piece of evidence confirming who and what Paul really was and how much my soul and strength had been sapped in his presence over nearly two decades, depression loomed and increasingly would not be denied. It was as if the earth opened up and sw …

The sociopath’s “discard” is soul destroying — you learn your “soul mate” is pure fabrication designed to con, exploit, and hurtRead More

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 49A:  Clarity And Its Consequences A few weeks later, when we needed to inventory all of our physical assets, at my lawyers’ recommendation I invited Paul back to the house. Room by room, we agreed on the list of what we owned: furniture, outdoor grill, prints, appliances, jewelry, and so on. “Paul,” I said, “we need to add the items you already took or that you have at your offi …

For a sociopath, why lie when you can deflect, discredit and distractRead More

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 48:  Toxic Emails I spent the rest of the afternoon making phone calls to find someone who would let me store my financial files and sentimental items at their house. Melinda, a mom whose daughter was on the lacrosse team with Jessica, offered the use of her house. I only knew her casually, but I knew she had been through a physically abusive marriage. Was I putting her in danger? …

Sociopaths are “spin” and misrepresentation experts. To protect yourself, document everything!Read More