Lovefraud received the following email from a reader: I always knew there was something wrong with my ex-husband, and friends and family did as well. There were lies, gambling, cheating, drug use, rehab 3 times, head games. He would drive erratically with our son and I in the car (even when our son was very little). He would speed up if there was a cat or other animal in the road. I would always completely freak out so he never ran one over when I was in the car, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did when I wasn't. (I could tell his counselor in rehab #3 knew there was more to his problems than just drug addiction.) He was clean for a long time and that's when I realized it wasn't the drugs …
If the truth is inconvenient, sociopaths lie (with great calm and conviction)
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 51C: The Earthquake Strikes I tried to fight the wave of despair cresting above me. I could not. Gravity won—it always does. Anguish and hopelessness pounded down, expelling the air from my lungs and the tone from my body. Yet, driven by the instincts of a mother bear protecting her cub, I pushed through the emotional train wreck and crafted a response to Paul’s email. As before, the i …
If the truth is inconvenient, sociopaths lie (with great calm and conviction)Read More
Using “projection,” Sociopaths accuse you of being manipulative and unethical, while they play the saint or victim
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 51B: The Earthquake Strikes Two weeks later, as Paul dropped Daniel and Jessica off at school after a mid-week overnight, Paul told them he had a girlfriend and that she was moving in. The moving van arrived from Chicago the next day, as did Linda Peters (the name from the UPS package), and her cat, Freedom. The cat’s name struck me as ironic, because anyone involved with Paul was d …
Maybe this tune should be the ‘Sociopath Song’?
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/6ZBuRtDWJhs"] The Brothers Osborne are a hit country band that took home a couple of Academy of Country Music awards this year for Vocal Duo of the Year and New Vocal Duo of the Year. Their most recent hit single is called, It Ain't My Fault. A Lovefraud reader suggests that it could be a theme song for sociopaths. What do you think? …
With no empathy and ethics, a sociopath’s capacity for deception and betrayal is limitless
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 50B: Oh My GOD! Hoping against hope that Paul had only used her for phone sex, I checked our bank statements. What were the odds? On the exact same day as the escort charge on our credit card, Paul had made a withdrawal at an ATM in Chicago. From deep inside, my body released a primal, guttural scream. My knees buckled. I dropped to the floor in a heap of disbelief and tears. I he …
With no empathy and ethics, a sociopath’s capacity for deception and betrayal is limitlessRead More
A sociopath’s capacity for deception and betrayal is almost unfathomable
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 50A: Oh My GOD! On my lawyer’s advice, I called all the locksmiths in the area, and they agreed to refuse Paul entry to the house without my consent. Fortunately, the threat of me moving out with the kids and incurring the rent of an additional apartment big enough for two kids, two dogs, and me had worked. Paul never moved back into the house. At one of my early meetings with …
A sociopath’s capacity for deception and betrayal is almost unfathomableRead More
What sociopaths want from sex
Many, many people who were romantically involved with sociopaths have told me that the sex was amazing. Earth-moving. The best they ever had. At least, that's how it was in the beginning, while the sociopath was still reeling them in. The targets thought this amazing sex was proof of the real connection between themselves and the sociopath, proof that the two of them were wildly, deeply in love. The truth is that sociopaths are incapable of love. Oh, they're capable of feeling attraction. And they're capable of proclaiming love, very convincingly (especially when they're looking for sex). But they are not capable of genuine concern for another person's welfare, which is a key component …
One trait or behavior does not make a sociopath – look for a pattern of traits and behaviors
I once heard from a man, whom we'll call "Jeff," who wanted to know if the woman he was involved with, "Amanda," was a sociopath. It started as a friendly involvement, with Jeff trying to help Amanda out. Amanda, who was from a foreign country, called Jeff her "best friend." Jeff eventually started to have feelings for her. But then came a series of unsettling experiences: Amanda made pornographic videos, which were posted on the Internet. Amanda worked as an escort. Jeff offered to pay her rent, so she wouldn't have to be an escort, and Amanda agreed—and continued being an escort anyway. Then Jeff asked Amanda to sign a contract promising that she wouldn't be an escort. She si …
The sociopath’s “discard” is soul destroying — you learn your “soul mate” is pure fabrication designed to con, exploit, and hurt
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 49B: Clarity And Its Consequences With each interaction with Paul, each toxic email, each review of my scary financial situation, each new piece of evidence confirming who and what Paul really was and how much my soul and strength had been sapped in his presence over nearly two decades, depression loomed and increasingly would not be denied. It was as if the earth opened up and sw …
For a sociopath, why lie when you can deflect, discredit and distract
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 49A: Clarity And Its Consequences A few weeks later, when we needed to inventory all of our physical assets, at my lawyers’ recommendation I invited Paul back to the house. Room by room, we agreed on the list of what we owned: furniture, outdoor grill, prints, appliances, jewelry, and so on. “Paul,” I said, “we need to add the items you already took or that you have at your offi …
For a sociopath, why lie when you can deflect, discredit and distractRead More