How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Intermittent reinforcement: conditioning helps explain why we stay with abusive individuals

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An overview of conditioning from a behavior specialist's perspective I will not get too specific regarding behavior reinforcement schedules, but I will ask you to follow me through a brief overview of some of the basics.  While I cannot do the explanation justice in a few paragraphs, I can present enough background to facilitate an understanding of why this matters to us. When studying behavior analysis, most programs, at least at some point, look to the work of B.F. Skinner, the 20th century developer of operant conditioning.  Very simply, operant conditioning subscribes to the belief that learning is modified by consequences.  The learner is motivated by reinforcement and punishment al …

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The mind of a potential mass killer

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In the wake of the Sandy Hook school shooting in Connecticut, a young man who at one point harbored similar thoughts sent an essay to The Daily Beast. I just found it, and even though the three-part essay is six months old, I believe Lovefraud readers will find it interesting and relevant. This anonymous young man eloquently explains why, as a teenager, he was filled with rage, and how he was able to turn his life around. The key reason is that his mother did not give up. I was Adam Lanza, on TheDailyBeast.com.   …

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New research shows that 1 in 3 women worldwide suffer intimate partner abuse

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According to the World Health Organization, 30 percent of the world's women experience physical or sexual abuse by a partner. And, a new study published in The Lancet says that 38.6 percent of female murder victims are killed by intimate partners. 1 in 3 women worldwide suffers abuse from partner, on KTUL.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.     …

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The sociopathic perspective

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Do sociopaths know what they are? Many, many Lovefraud readers ask me this question. The short answer is that some of them do and some of them don't. The man who sent me the following email certainly has insight into his own personality: I would like to thank you for making your videos they have given me an insight into how you people recognize us. WE are not to blame for your short comings because you are weak minded and foolish enough to be taken advantage of. We are evolutions next step we don't allow silly emotions to cloud our judgments. In fact we use our advantage for survival because we are natures next course. I know I sound very narcissistic and apologize for that but if you …

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Woman loses teaching job because of ex-husband’s stalking

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Carie Charlesworth, a second-grade teacher at Holy Trinity School in San Diego, California, was fired by school officials because of her ex-husband's "threatening and menacing behavior." The school's legal counsel investigated the man, Martin Charlesworth. Here's what was found, according to the termination letter received by Carie Charlesworth: Whether or not you are aware of this, Martin Charlesworth has a twenty-plus year history of violence, abuse and harassment of people mostly women and he has continued the pattern to the present. We learned the behavior you endured had been exhibited as far back as 1991 in Alaska with other women, including his then wife. He has an equally long …

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“You should leave now. If you don’t, I will ruin your life.”

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The following unfolded after she witnessed the first "slip of the mask."  She questioned what had just happened, since at the time, she did not understand.  However, she quickly learned that she was not allowed to have thoughts or ask questions.  Doing so constituted "interrogation" or the "the third degree."  He became angrier and angrier, blaming her for the mood shifts she observed. Confused, she noted that they had not seen or spoken to each other in days and asked what she did to cause such upset.  The exchange was out of control, and like nothing she had ever seen before.  Things were wrong and she wanted out.  She pulled her luggage from the apartment's outside storage closet, with the …

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Study highlights men coercing women into pregnancy

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In a survey of 641 women, 16% said they had experienced "reproductive coercion" men intentionally trying to get them pregnant by poking holes in condoms, taking birth control pills and even removing IUDs. Several Lovefraud readers have said that this happened to them. More men are sabotaging women's birth control to get them pregnant: ACOG, on NYDailyNews.com Reproductive Coercion Prevalent Regardless of Socioeconomic and Educational Background, on ACOG.org.   …

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Men should be concerned about violence against women

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Jackson Katz is author of The Macho Paradox—why some men hurt women and how all men can help. Last year he spoke at a TED conference. His basic message is that violence against women is not just a women's issue—it is a men's issue. After all, men are committing most of the violence. I am glad to see a man speaking out on this issue towards men. Most of his presentation was terrific. However, about three-quarters of the way through, Katz makes the statement, "The typical perpetrator is not sick and twisted, he's a normal guy in every other way." Is this true? Abraham Maslow once said, "If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail." So I wonder if, to paraphrase Mas …

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Critiquing expert views, part 3: Psychology Today blogger on understanding the sociopath

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Editor's note: This is the third in a series of articles critiquing what mental health bloggers are saying about sociopaths/psychopaths. Prior articles are: “CNN blogger on Ariel Castro," and "Psychology Today blogger on psychopaths who care." Seth Meyers, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist with the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health, wrote in a recent Psychology Today blog that he's been commenting on TV about the Jodi Arias case. Apparently Meyers is on TV quite a bit— his credits include Good Morning America, Fox News, Jane Velez-Mitchell, The Early Show, Good Day L.A., 20/20, and more. The Jodi Arias case inspired him to discuss sociopaths in his post. Here's the art …

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Critiquing expert views, part 2: Psychology Today blogger on psychopaths who care

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Editor's note: This is the second in a series of articles critiquing what mental health bloggers are saying about sociopaths/psychopaths. Here is the first article: "CNN blogger on Ariel Castro." The headline in a recent blog article on the Psychology Today website stopped me in my tracks: Despite popular opinion, psychopaths can show they care This article was written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., who is a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Here is the first paragraph, with my comments in parentheses: The quintessential psychopath shows callous disregard for others, a complete lack of empathy (although they are great at pretending to show empathy when …

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