Having spent time listening to many psychopathy researchers, I can attest to many times coming away with the feeling that very critical insights are being missed. An appreciation for the bigger picture just isn't there yet. For me the bigger picture always includes the family. A sociopath may prey on strangers, but usually that is after a lifetime of practice on family members. The reason this piece is so critical is that the personality disorder, psychopathy is a pervasive disorder of human social behavior that affects every relationship the disordered person has. Considering what this disorder actually is- a pervasive disorder of human social behavior, the perspective of family members …
The special problem of the “sort of” sociopath
We tend to speak of sociopaths versus non-sociopaths in pretty much either-or terms, despite recognizing that we fall along a spectrum of behaviors and attitudes that range from extremely unself-centered (even to self-sabotaging levels, reflecting poor self-esteem and weak self-protective defenses); to levels we would describe as dangerously exploitive (moving into the range of full-blown sociopathic personality, characterized by a troubling indifference to, and disregard of, others as separate human beings whose dignity deserves to be respected). At bottom, as I have elsewhere written and stressed, the sociopath is a remorseless, chronic boundary violator; his regard for others' dignity …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Part 2–“You have to start acting better”
Editor's note: This is the completion of Lovefraud's e-mail from “robxsykobabe.” The beginning was posted yesterday: Part 1—Giving him the benefit of the doubt. He contacted me April 13th, 2010. Three days before his son's 11th birthday. I didn't respond as he “dangled the carrot” with texting me simply, “I wish”¦” Yeah, it was a game. I didn't contact him because I felt sick to my stomach and severe panic after receiving it. I waited”¦and he didn't contact me again. And I responded”¦and so the story goes. We met and I was LESS than pleased. This was NOT the reunion where we embraced each other and kissed long, sultry kisses. It was the kind of meeting you'd see in a movie and expect a …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Part 2–“You have to start acting better”Read More
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Part 1–Giving him the benefit of the doubt
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from the reader who posts as “robxsykobabe.” Read it—and watch as the sociopathic manipulation blossoms. Here is my story”¦as I've only shared bits and pieces. My ex and I met on a dating website. We met at a mutually convenient place, and upon seeing him for the first time in person, I was in awe! He was the perfect looking guy, casual, with a tall stature, a beautiful face and such charm. We went into a restaurant but didn't eat. We sat at the bar, and I ordered a drink. He did not, saying he doesn't drink anymore. That was fine with me. We engaged in conversation, and at one point, I asked him if he had ever been in prison. Why t …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Part 1–Giving him the benefit of the doubtRead More
More psychopath cartoons
Two Lovefraud readers have created animations related to their experiences with psychopaths. They're posted on YouTube. Take a look—you'll certainly be able to relate! But I love you—daily psychopath talk By Openeyefilms Be a warrior NOT a psychopath By Sarah Strudwick …
Criticizing bishops in the Philadelphia clergy abuse scandal
In February, a Philadelphia grand jury indicted four priests of sex abuse and found evidence that an additional 37 had also abused. The panel that reviews sex abuse cases for the Philadelphia archdiocese was as surprised as anyone. In an article in Commonweal, a lay Catholic publication, the chairwoman of the review board criticizes the archdiocese, saying it "failed miserably at being open and transparent." The problem, writes Ana Maria Catanzaro, was the clergy's attitude of superiority. She writes: So why haven't they gotten it? In a word, clericalism. In his book Clericalism: The Death of the Priesthood, George B. Wilson, SJ, articulates “unexamined attitudes” typical of clerical cult …
Criticizing bishops in the Philadelphia clergy abuse scandalRead More
Now, more SEAL impostors than ever
On Lovefraud's Is he or she military? page, we state that 11,000 soldiers actually completed Navy SEAL training, but fraud busters have found more than 35,000 fake SEALs. Now that Navy SEALs have taken out Osama Bin Laden, there are even more frauds, including a pastor from central Pennsylvania. Don Shipley, a real ex-SEAL who exposes the fakes, says it's not unusual to find members of the clergy pretending to be former SEALs: "It's something with these guys who are in a position of trust that causes a lot of them to do it," he said. "The fact that they are in a position where whatever comes out of their mouth is believed -- I think that causes some of them to take advantage." Shipley has …
BOOK REVIEW: Cold-Blooded Kindness
Reviewed by Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Cold-Blooded Kindness: Neuroquirks of a Codependent Killer, or Just Give Me a Shot at Loving You, Dear, and Other Reflections on Helping That Hurts is the tongue-in-cheek title of this book by Barbara Oakley, with a foreword by David Sloan Wilson. It belies the serious research and investigation done by this remarkable, highly educated and acclaimed woman. Oakley is associate professor of engineering at Oakland University in Michigan, and her work focuses mainly on the complex relationship between neurocircuitry and social behavior. The list of her varied experiences reads like fiction ”¦ she worked for several years as a Russian language tr …
Psychopaths, silly science and James Bond
The headline of an article that a Lovefraud reader recently sent to me is: Why women really do love self-obsessed psychopaths With a headline like that, of course, I had to read it. The article, from 2008, describes research on the “Dark Triad” and mating behavior. The Dark Triad refers to the personality disorders of narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism. I had some problems with the article, but before I ripped into it, I figured I'd read the original study. Here it is: The Dark Triad: Facilitating a Short-Term Mating Strategy in Men This study was published in the European Journal of Personality in 2009, and the lead author is Peter K. Jonason. To be honest, I find …
Culture or Psychopathy?
Editor's note: The author is well-known to all Lovefraud readers as "Ox Drover." By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) I read an article today that made me start to think about psychopathic behavior in groups of people. About groups of people without empathy, without altruistic thinking. Looters hamper rescue efforts in tornado-ravaged Alabama Most of us here in the U.S. have read many stories about the horrible damage done in Japan by both the earthquake and the resulting tsunami which washed over the land, killing tens of thousands, and devastating a large thickly-populated area. We've read where people's life savings, stocks and bonds, and cash were found many miles from their …