The sociopath's imperturbability has been widely noted. However, this is a generalization, not true of all sociopaths in all situations. A sociopath around whom the net is closing, who recognizes that he's played his last card and finds, alas, that the game is ending and that he faces inescapable consequences—sociopaths in this circumstance may feel forms of perturbability, like anxiety and worry. But in situations where he perceives his security (however unrealistically) to be relatively unthreatened—especially where his grandiosity and sense of omnipotence remain relatively intact—the sociopath can be curiously imperturbable. Imperturbable, that is, in the commission of his viola …
Game theory and the sociopath
Shock. Total disbelief. Utter incomprehension. That's what we feel upon finally realizing that when the sociopath cheated on us, blew through our money, twisted our emotions and messed with our minds, to him or her it was all just a sick, depraved game. Sociopaths do not form emotional connections with other human beings. They do not experience love. They do not feel honor, altruism or concern for others. The words they speak and the actions they take have only one objective: getting what they want. To them, life is a game, and they want to win. Game theory is a field of study that, according to Wikipedia, “attempts to mathematically capture behavior in strategic situations, in which an …
Forgiveness, sociopathy and choice
Although it has been many years and there is a new relationship, a friend of mine still wishes every day that the sociopath that preyed on her will “drop dead.” Wishing and hoping that some horrible end will come for the sociopath takes up time and energy in my friend's life; as she searches for evidence that something bad has indeed happened to the sociopath and then is disappointed. Recently, I discussed the topic of forgiving psychopaths with a psychopathy researcher who is not a clinician. He said he received a letter from someone complaining that friends were pressuring the victim to forgive. It was the psychopathy researcher's opinion that people should NOT be told they have to for …
The Story of David Pecard
Recently, I watched an old 48-Hours segment on the conman David Michael Pecard, which proved to be a most fascinating, educational case study of a textbook sociopath. Pecard is the kind of sociopath (or psychopath) psychiatrist Hervey Cleckley, MD, so brilliantly grappled with in his classic, “The Mask of Sanity—”that is, he was glib, persuasive (could sell you the Brooklyn Bridge today and tender a convincing deed of sale); charmingly disarming, imperturbable, thrill-seeking, audacious, deceptive, emotionally superficial and indifferent to the suffering he caused others. Peter Van Zandt investigates, and offers compelling interview footage with Pecard, who was free as the segment aired …
The psychopathic personality and human evolution
Dr. Robert Hare, who did seminal work in identifying psychopaths, refers to them as “intraspecies predators.” This prompted questions from a Lovefraud reader who asked, If psychopaths are indeed natural predators (by implication, their design is part of nature's plan to maintain some balance) then would we ever be able to weed them out of society? Do they have a purpose in the natural order of things? In this article, I'm going to address the second question. Then, next week, I'll suggest an answer to the first question. I don't know about a purpose, but there are researchers who believe psychopaths are around us today because they survived the natural selection process of human e …
Why we don’t know about sociopaths
I've spoken to many people who have had their lives shredded by sociopaths. They are traumatized about their physical, emotional and financial injuries. They can't understand how someone can cause them so much pain, and be so callous about it. A statement I hear frequently is, “I didn't know such evil existed.” Why don't we know about sociopaths? I think there are several reasons: 1. Mental health professionals can't agree on terminology and diagnostic criteria. These disordered individuals are referred to as sociopaths, psychopaths or people with antisocial personality disorder. Which is the right term? It depends on whom you ask. Dr. Robert Hare, the guru of the disorder, use …
The dark side of the man
A big problem we face in sizing up a partner is getting stuck on, or being seduced by, his “light side—”that is, his apparently (or genuinely) wonderful, engaging, admirable, gratifying qualities. However, when we're dealing with a sociopath, there is also the other side—the “dark side.” By “dark side” I mean, essentially, the sociopath's exploitive side. And by exploitive I mean, very specifically, his calculated use of leverage to betray you somehow; moreover, to betray you with gross insensitivity to your experience of the injury or insult he's inflicted. The “light side” of the man must never compensate for his “dark side,” regardless of how well-concealed, and rarely, the latt …
Watch out for this defense mechanism
You are involved, say, with a pathologically self-centered personality, perhaps a narcissist or sociopath? That is, he wants what he wants when he wants it, and he'll do whatever's necessary (his entitlement) to get it, or take it. Key diagnostic trait: he reserves the right to punish you when you obstruct his agenda. Now here's the thing: in the heat of the moment, you may actually be pretty good at confronting his abuse. Maybe you stand up for yourself pretty effectively? Maybe, in the moment, you're even pretty good at setting limits and challenging his nonsense? So then what's the problem? The problem occurs when you step away from these incidents. In stepping away from them, …
100-year-old molester still considered a threat
Sociopaths do not change. As living proof, consider the case of Theodore Sypnier. Sypnier is a convicted child molester. He is 100 years old. He is about to be paroled, and the city of Buffalo, New York, is on edge. According to an article by the Associated Press: "Whether he's 100 or 101 or 105, the same person that was committing these crimes 10, 25, 30 years ago still exists today and has an unrepentant heart," said the Rev. Terry King, director of Grace House, which has twice taken Sypnier in from prison. "He is someone that we as parents, as members of the community, any community, really need to fear." The incident that landed him in jail took place in 1999, when Sypnier was 90 …
Sociopaths exploiting your faith
Sociopaths as much as anything exploit your faith in them”¦over and over again. In many ways this captures the essence of sociopathy in particular, and exploitation in general: The sociopath, or exploiter, seduces your faith, only then to intentionally violate it. The more seriously you take him, the more you are vulnerable; the more vulnerable you are, the more the exploiter is licking his chops. And so the sociopath, or any exploiter, wants you to take him seriously! Indeed it's his modus operandi to accumulate currency and credibility with you—the more the better, as this better ripens you, better fattens you, for the payoff he's chasing. Not all exploiters “get off' on the suffer …