Recently, I watched an old 48-Hours segment on the conman David Michael Pecard, which proved to be a most fascinating, educational case study of a textbook sociopath. Pecard is the kind of sociopath (or psychopath) psychiatrist Hervey Cleckley, MD, so brilliantly grappled with in his classic, “The Mask of Sanity—”that is, he was glib, persuasive (could sell you the Brooklyn Bridge today and tender a convincing deed of sale); charmingly disarming, imperturbable, thrill-seeking, audacious, deceptive, emotionally superficial and indifferent to the suffering he caused others. Peter Van Zandt investigates, and offers compelling interview footage with Pecard, who was free as the segment aired …
The psychopathic personality and human evolution
Dr. Robert Hare, who did seminal work in identifying psychopaths, refers to them as “intraspecies predators.” This prompted questions from a Lovefraud reader who asked, If psychopaths are indeed natural predators (by implication, their design is part of nature's plan to maintain some balance) then would we ever be able to weed them out of society? Do they have a purpose in the natural order of things? In this article, I'm going to address the second question. Then, next week, I'll suggest an answer to the first question. I don't know about a purpose, but there are researchers who believe psychopaths are around us today because they survived the natural selection process of human e …
Why we don’t know about sociopaths
I've spoken to many people who have had their lives shredded by sociopaths. They are traumatized about their physical, emotional and financial injuries. They can't understand how someone can cause them so much pain, and be so callous about it. A statement I hear frequently is, “I didn't know such evil existed.” Why don't we know about sociopaths? I think there are several reasons: 1. Mental health professionals can't agree on terminology and diagnostic criteria. These disordered individuals are referred to as sociopaths, psychopaths or people with antisocial personality disorder. Which is the right term? It depends on whom you ask. Dr. Robert Hare, the guru of the disorder, use …
The dark side of the man
A big problem we face in sizing up a partner is getting stuck on, or being seduced by, his “light side—”that is, his apparently (or genuinely) wonderful, engaging, admirable, gratifying qualities. However, when we're dealing with a sociopath, there is also the other side—the “dark side.” By “dark side” I mean, essentially, the sociopath's exploitive side. And by exploitive I mean, very specifically, his calculated use of leverage to betray you somehow; moreover, to betray you with gross insensitivity to your experience of the injury or insult he's inflicted. The “light side” of the man must never compensate for his “dark side,” regardless of how well-concealed, and rarely, the latt …
Watch out for this defense mechanism
You are involved, say, with a pathologically self-centered personality, perhaps a narcissist or sociopath? That is, he wants what he wants when he wants it, and he'll do whatever's necessary (his entitlement) to get it, or take it. Key diagnostic trait: he reserves the right to punish you when you obstruct his agenda. Now here's the thing: in the heat of the moment, you may actually be pretty good at confronting his abuse. Maybe you stand up for yourself pretty effectively? Maybe, in the moment, you're even pretty good at setting limits and challenging his nonsense? So then what's the problem? The problem occurs when you step away from these incidents. In stepping away from them, …
100-year-old molester still considered a threat
Sociopaths do not change. As living proof, consider the case of Theodore Sypnier. Sypnier is a convicted child molester. He is 100 years old. He is about to be paroled, and the city of Buffalo, New York, is on edge. According to an article by the Associated Press: "Whether he's 100 or 101 or 105, the same person that was committing these crimes 10, 25, 30 years ago still exists today and has an unrepentant heart," said the Rev. Terry King, director of Grace House, which has twice taken Sypnier in from prison. "He is someone that we as parents, as members of the community, any community, really need to fear." The incident that landed him in jail took place in 1999, when Sypnier was 90 …
Sociopaths exploiting your faith
Sociopaths as much as anything exploit your faith in them”¦over and over again. In many ways this captures the essence of sociopathy in particular, and exploitation in general: The sociopath, or exploiter, seduces your faith, only then to intentionally violate it. The more seriously you take him, the more you are vulnerable; the more vulnerable you are, the more the exploiter is licking his chops. And so the sociopath, or any exploiter, wants you to take him seriously! Indeed it's his modus operandi to accumulate currency and credibility with you—the more the better, as this better ripens you, better fattens you, for the payoff he's chasing. Not all exploiters “get off' on the suffer …
When nurture becomes nature
There comes a time when nurture becomes nature. This is the time when nurture and nature become inextricable, inseparable. I suspect nobody knows precisely when this point arrives in the development of a given individual, but the immediate ramification is this: When you are involved specifically with a sociopath, or any exploitative personality, it is imperative that you stop asking how this person became who he is? Sure, he likely endured—and was shaped by—some form of neglect or abuse growing up, and if this wasn't obvious in the history, it was still likely there. But here's the point: it doesn't matter. Not one bit. Instead, you must relinquish your empathy, compassion and cur …
Your reality is what you see
By Ox Drover My best friend has been visiting me and, as usual, when we get together we re-share “old stories” of “remember the time when so-and-so did such-and-such and how we laughed?” One of those stories was a funny one about a small quarrel I had with my late husband. After relating the story, I had one of those “ah ha!” moments that applies to a lot of things in life. My husband had a partial plate that was almost impossible for the dentist to get seated so that it did not “flop” and my husband used some of that pink goop that you put under a dental plate to keep it glued down. Every evening when he would get ready for bed, he would go into our bathroom, take the plate out, scrape th …
BOOK REVIEW: A Dangerous Fortune
Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader “Usedandabused” recently found A Dangerous Fortune, by Ken Follett, in her garage. Although it's not a new book—published in 1993—she said it was the best portrayal of a psychopath that she'd ever read. In this breathtaking and complex page-turner, master storyteller Ken Follett portrays a psychopath with sharp emotional clarity that cannot be found in a scientific text. Micky Miranda, the son of a brutal psychopathic South American caudillo of the late 19th century, jumped from the pages into my psyche during his twenty-five year scam of a prominent London banking family. Devoid of compassion and remorse but rife with cutting instincts into the psyches …