"Whether you know it or not, each and every day your life is touched by the effects of psychopathy on our world. You are about to learn that even if there isn't much we can do about geological and cosmological catastrophe, there is a lot we can do about social and Macrosocial evil, and the very first thing to do is to learn about it. In the case of psychopathy and its effects on our world, what you don't know definitely can and will hurt you." (p. 9, Political Ponerology) One thing I like about teaching at a University is that I am exposed to a lot of new ideas. Also I am not one who has to agree with everything a person says, to appreciate the good ideas he/she has. With that thought, I …
Psychopaths’ cat and mouse game
Editor's note: This article was submitted by Steve Becker, LCSW, CH.T, who has a private psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and clinical consulting practice in New Jersey, USA. For more information, visit his website, powercommunicating.com. Have you ever seen a cat toy with a stunned, cornered mouse? How it will capture the mouse, dangle it in its mouth for a while, release it momentarily, allowing the mouse the pretense of an escape, only to recapture it, dangle it some more from its mouth, perhaps release it again briefly, now to watch the mouse, increasingly frantic, make another escape bid, only to recapture it, now letting the terrorized mouse (and, as if it's fate) dangle yet some more, …
Valentine’s Day can be tough for victims of love fraud
As a victim of love fraud, I have two reactions to Valentine's Day. First, I hate the thought of all those sociopaths out there male and female, who are using this day to lock in their next victims. Early in relationships, sociopaths present themselves as great partners. They certainly don't pass up the chance to pour on the charm on a day like Valentine's Day. Furthermore, since they can be very focused on sex, Valentine's Day is an opportunity for them to score. My vision of Valentine sociopaths includes those who are simultaneously wooing more than one victim. Perhaps we should consider whether Valentine's Day should also be named “Love Fraud Awareness Day.” My second reaction to Val …
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If you’re vulnerable, sociopaths will pounce
Last week Lovefraud posted a new True Lovefraud Story about a con artist named Dennis SanSeverino. The creep pretended to be loving and rich long enough to convince his victim to trust him. Then he took her home and inheritance. This story is a classic case of a sociopath targeting the vulnerable. When the victim, Trish Rynn, met SanSeverino, she had just endured a difficult breakup with her boyfriend. In the months that they got to know each other—Rynn initially refused his many dinner invitations—he must have been listening intently as she chatted about her life. Rynn's ex-husband was physically abusive. After the marriage ended, Rynn spent 10 years in court fighting child custody and …
Sociopaths and sex: neither straight nor gay
Many women have written to Lovefraud about husbands who they've come to believe are sociopaths. They were astounded to discover that, not only was the husband cheating, but he was having sex with men. Lovefraud reader eyeswideshut writes about this in a recent comment to the post, After he's gone: looking at the sociopath through open eyes. She asks: Now that I know he is also gay, is sociopathic tendency in married gay men not common as well? When I read the stories of the women in the book ("Straight Wives"), many of the men sound like sociopaths as well. Have you studied this phenomenon? Is it possible that gay men who choose to live the lie of married life are likely also …
Aristotle: Sociopath or Machiavellian?
This week, I am departing from the usual and sharing an essay written by someone else. My daughter turned 17 this week and is applying to start college early. I have often felt sorry for her because she has had to endure my pontificating on the nature of humanness. As part of her application she was asked to comment on a quote from Aristotle. I was shocked at the level of insight she had into the implications of the quote. I was mostly surprised that her response indicates she does indeed listen when I speak! She wrote this essay without any help from me. It sounds like Aristotle was rather like a sociopath, or in the very least, like a Machiavellian in his views. I'll let you …
When dealing with a sociopath, you must save yourself
Yesterday was a tough day at Lovefraud. First thing in the morning, I got a call from a woman I'd spoken to before. She was hysterical. From what she'd told me previously, it sounded like she was dealing with three sociopaths—her husband, her oldest son, and a guy she had an affair with. Initially, her husband had condoned the affair. Then he left her. Then he returned. Then he smeared her with her family and friends. The oldest son was violent. "You have to get out," I advised. "I don't have any money," she whined. "My husband hid the checkbook." "Is your name on the account?" I asked. "Yes." "Then go to the bank, withdraw money and leave." Then she started telling m …
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Questions that best identify sociopathy in a person
It really bothers me that researchers haven't developed a measure to help people figure out if their loved ones are sociopathic. Instead, measures have been developed and the public is told NOT to use them to “diagnose” anyone. What good is research if it doesn't teach people how to protect themselves? It would not be too difficult to identify a group of sociopaths, then determine a few easy questions related to the disorder most of the sociopaths answer yes or no to (that is sensitivity). The questions would be even better if non-sociopaths were unlikely to give the same response (that is specificity). In a recent study (Comp. Psych. 48, 529), Dr. Heather Gelhorn and her colleagues from th …
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Differentiating narcissists and psychopaths
Editor's note: This article was submitted by Steve Becker, LCSW, CH.T, who has a private psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and clinical consulting practice in New Jersey, USA. For more information, visit his website, powercommunicating.com. We can begin by noting something that both narcissists and psychopaths share: a tendency to regard others as objects more than persons. Immediately this raises concerns: you don't have to empathize with objects; objects don't have feelings worth recognizing. You can toy with objects; manipulate and exploit them for your own gratification, with a paucity of guilt. Welcome to the world of the narcissist and psychopath. Theirs is a mindset of immediate, …
ASK DR. LEEDOM: Are sociopaths (and psychopaths) vindictive?
A woman who married and had children with two different sociopathic men wrote us this week. Her story and questions are timely since they allow me to mention another upcoming book, the conference Donna and I attended last weekend and to discuss vindictiveness. It seems most women who have children with sociopaths end up with the sociopaths walking out on their children as well as the women, leaving the survivors to mop up and struggle to understand what happened on their own. From what I understand of sociopaths, the prevalent attitude they seem to behave as if they "don't care" about anything except doing what benefits them”¦ (she told her story of marriage, children, custody battles and …
ASK DR. LEEDOM: Are sociopaths (and psychopaths) vindictive?Read More