Explaining the sociopath

Lovefraud recently received a very nice e-mail from the editor of HowToDoThings.com, complimenting the information provided by Lovefraud. She suggested that an article from her website might be of interest to Lovefraud readers. It is called How To Recognize the Signs of Cheating Men. I checked out the article. Now, I mean absolutely no disrespect to HowToDoThings.com, but the article describes cheating by mere amateurs, not sociopaths. Signs of a cheating man According to the article, all of the following should raise a woman's suspicions that her guy might be cheating: 1. He improves his personal appearance. 2. He finds fault with you. 3. Your sex life changes. 4. He uses a …

Most cheaters are amateurs; sociopaths are professionalsRead More

Every Sunday my local newspaper, the Press of Atlantic City, prints the names of servicemen and women who died the previous week in Iraq and Afghanistan. Every Sunday, I make myself read the names. It's the least I can do to honor their sacrifice. Today, Veterans Day, the newspaper printed a story about a local young man, a private, killed in Baghdad six months ago. I'm afraid I couldn't read the story—it was too upsetting. Veterans Day was always important to my ex-husband, James Montgomery. He wanted to show his patriotism and commemorate the comrades he lost in Vietnam as a member of the Australian military. In fact, when we met, 25 years after Vietnam, Montgomery claimed he was still a …

Veterans Day wake-up call: Sociopaths as military impostorsRead More

Lovefraud receives a lot of e-mail. Usually the people who write the letters are dealing with the trauma of a sociopath, also called a psychopath. They thank Lovefraud for the information we provide, and ask for advice about their personal situations. Every once in awhile, however, someone writes an e-mail that is less than appreciative, such as this one from a guy named Tim: I had the misfortune to encounter your website today and must say that after laughing heartily at your story, I find your grasp of mathematics, statistics and psychology to be completely dumbfounding. Could you please explain how you arrive at the conclusion there are *exactly* 411 psychopaths in the Beverly …

Telling the truth about being conned, even when I look stupidRead More

Lovefraud recently received the following letter from a reader: My ex has almost all the characteristics I have read on your site. He lies habitually, is financially irresponsible, and lets the burden fall on friends and family, and he started to burden me from the beginning financially on a small scale. I had hints in the beginning that he was a jerk when he disrespected my father (I wasn't sure at the time if it was on purpose, or inadvertent), but at the same time it was confusing because he seemed so pleasant, helpful and charming. He also cooked for me every night and helped me with my kids, but as far as work goes, he was lazy and lied about working at times. He borrowed small …

If someone has most psychopathic traits, it’s reason enough to leaveRead More

Lovefraud recently received the following letter from a reader: "I am trying to understand what the sociopath is feeling. Do they feel love? Do they love? What hurts a sociopath? How can you communicate with a sociopath?" The problem in dealing with a sociopath, or psychopath, is that they are fundamentally different from the rest of us. The extent of their difference is truly difficult to comprehend—until you've had a close encounter with one of them. Let's look at these questions individually. Do they feel love? The short answer is no. In order to feel love, a person must be able to feel empathy. Sociopaths do not feel empathy for other people. Those of us who are c …

What is a sociopath feeling?Read More