How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Recovery From a Sociopath: The fake victim and the real victim

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by Quinn Pierce When I first met my ex-husband, I was moved by the amount of compassion and sympathy he showed for the traumatic experiences of my past.  To me, it was an endearing quality for someone to be so caring and supportive.  He kept telling me how honored he was that I trusted him enough to tell him things I hadn't talked to many people about before. Ulterior Motives I look back with cringe-inducing clarity, and I recognize several ulterior motives for his false compassion. For one, he was assessing me as a partner.  He learned that, at the time, I was a very secretive person.  I had a select few people I confided in, and I was not one to talk to others about my own painful exp …

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‘Divorce Corp’ documentary exposes corrupt and collusive divorce industry – even before the sociopaths show up

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Divorce Corp, a documentary playing in selected theaters through Jan. 16, 2014, takes direct aim at unscrupulous judges, lawyers and family court professionals, and the incestuous system that enables them to feed each other business and get rich. Some women's organizations consider the film to be dangerously one-sided. But I think it at least begins a discussion about what is really going on in family courts. Here's how the Divorce Corp documentary producers describe their movie: More money flows through the family courts, and into the hands of courthouse insiders, than in all other court systems in America combined — over $50 billion a year and growing. Through extensive r …

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Why is it so difficult to detach from a sociopath?

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by Quinn Pierce The other day, in one of my counseling sessions, I was recounting a story about some family members who still interact with my ex-husband, despite my requests that they respect me enough to not have any contact with him. I was no longer angry or annoyed by their behavior, I had since realized it is much easier if I lower my expectations for some people in my life and distance myself from others.  But, I was curious about their inability to stop contact with my ex-husband even after knowing everything he has done to my family. The Inexplicable Bond It led me to wonder: Why is it so difficult to detach from a sociopath? It seems as though it makes no difference if …

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Connecticut parents say court-ordered expenses bankrupt them

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In an article for Washington Times Communities, Lovefraud reader Anne Stevenson writes that Connecticut parents allege they are being forced to hire court appointed vendors such as psychologists and guardians. In 2013, a group of parents complained to the Legislature that these vendors were bankrupting them through their questionable billing practices. One guardian ad litem allegedly charged $40,000, but billing records indicated she spent very little time with the child she represented. A task force established to assess Connecticut's family courts disagreed with the parents and determined that an audit of the court's books and contracts would be unnecessary. Anne invites Lovefraud …

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Recovery From A Sociopath: New Beginnings

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by Quinn Pierce As with all new beginnings, the New Year always brings a sense of hope for a better tomorrow.  And as this year draws to a close, I have to admit that I feel a sense of relief.  This was definitely one of my more challenging and tumultuous years, and I will be happy to consider it part of my past. Recognizing Positive Experiences However, before I do, I think it's important to acknowledge my accomplishments within the struggles.  Sometimes, when we are plagued by the abuse, and the inevitable drama, from the sociopath in our lives, we may have learned to cope by pushing away the memories that cause us to re-experience the hurt and sadness. But, as survivors, we need to …

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Father, Dmitriy Kanarikov, throws his 3 year-old son, Kirill, off roof of Manhattan high-rise then jumps to his death

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Separated parents Dmitriy and Svetlana Kanarikov had an agreed-upon visitation schedule for father Dmitriy to spend time with his 3-year-old son, Kirill. The visits seemed to go well until Dmitriy tossed his son off a high rise building and then jumped to his death as well. The couple had separated in August, when Dmitriy had turned violent toward Svetlana. Dmitriy had threatened  his estranged wife, telling her “he would take the child away” and "she would ”˜shoot (herself) from grief,'” Svetlana Kanarikov revealed. Svetlana believed this was Dmitriy's "sick way" of following through on that threat. Mom of boy, 3, thrown from roof of Manhattan high-rise calls it husband's ”˜sick way' of …

Father, Dmitriy Kanarikov, throws his 3 year-old son, Kirill, off roof of Manhattan high-rise then jumps to his deathRead More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Advice for relatives of elder abuse victims hooked by sociopaths

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Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader. Many years ago my wealthy (and elderly) widower father entered into a relationship with a sociopathic woman. She is very charming and beautiful. This was marriage number four for her. Her last marriage had been completely predatory. My father's health is good, his mind is sharp but his memory is failing. The more his memory fails, the more his wife isolates him. She does this in brazen and cruel ways too numerous to write about here in this short note. She also encouraged him to drink alcohol and take potent sleeping pills. He was hospitalized several times for overdose. My father has a substantial estate and it …

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Reports of U.S. child abuse are down, but fatalities are up

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Reports of child abuse and neglect totaled 686,000 during fiscal 2012, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. That terrible number is actually an improvement, down from 688,000 in 2011. A total of 1,640 deaths were attributed to child abuse and neglect. About 70% of the children who died were under 3 years old. Parents were the perpetrators in 80% of the cases. New federal data: Child abuse reports dip slightly, but child fatalities rise, on StarTribune.com.   …

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Married to A Sociopath: A False Sense of Control

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By Quinn Pierce   Learning Avoidance When you are in a relationship with a sociopath, you quickly learn the act of avoidance.  Without saying a word, a sociopath can let you know exactly when he or she is angry or disappointed with your behavior.   That leads you to begin reacting to subtle clues and hints that may never be stated, but are clearly understood. For me, I began avoiding all situations that would create that indescribable tension in the house.  The feeling of walking on egg shells while holding my breath. Hollow Choices Sometimes, it would mean turning down a shopping trip with friends, or a trip to the store without the children.  It just became easier to avoid …

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Documentary reveals the shameless practices of big business divorce

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"I think death would be easier than a divorce." "People can get as much justice as they can afford. Most people can't afford any justice." "Follow the money" Divorce Corp, a documentary narrated by Dr. Drew Pinsky, will hit theaters in January 2014. The tag line sums it up: " Marriage is an institution. Divorce is big business." Interviews with divorce attorneys, divorce mediators, judges, and litigants reveal the inner workings of the $50 billion a year U.S. family law industry. The film's creators, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Joseph Sorge, Philip Sternberg and James Scurlock, had no idea when they began their project that they would uncover the dark corner of the judicial system where fiefdoms and …

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